Roll Call 166!

Desoxyn · Jun 01, 2020, 06:40 PM

I have GTA 5. I should play it later today.

My main goal today is to read a bit.

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 06:41 PM

Idk why I’m typing like ultimate crap. I think my brain is so overloaded right now. I also didn’t take my omega 3 liquid.

Desoxyn · Jun 01, 2020, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

ASAP. I gotta record a video on the app of my live, to show well I can gain people into my broadcast. I need a 15 min video they said.

YOU CAN DO IT.

You have a gift of technological magic in the form of chill. You're basically 50% alien and 50% human.

Use the lights - Expect nothing - No anxiety.. Once you're ok, your thoughts run smoothly and you're an interesting gamer girl.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 01, 2020, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Idk why I’m typing like ultimate crap. I think my brain is so overloaded right now. I also didn’t take my omega 3 liquid.

Coronavirus Anxiety Has Led to a Zoloft Shortage

Do you have enough Zoloft?

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:11 PM

I can do the audition tomorrow cuz if things go as planned I’ll be starting horticulture class tomorrow at uni.

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Coronavirus Anxiety Has Led to a Zoloft Shortage

Do you have enough Zoloft?

Omg I might I just got sent my meds in the mail. They should’ve been here Today but they aren’t.

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:23 PM

Omg there’s a skunk outside and it’s coming through the a/c 🦨

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 01, 2020, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Omg there’s a skunk outside and it’s coming through the a/c 🦨

Yucko...been a while since I’ve smelled one tbh....

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:28 PM

Making a pizza. The last pizza. I’ll have to make fiance burritos tonight.

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2020, 07:43 PM

Keep having

Possible trigger:

suicidal thoughts

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2020, 07:48 PM

I'm positive most of the time but I have those thoughts underlying/in the background that creep out every now and then. Like, I always have that option in the back of my head

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm positive most of the time but I have those thoughts underlying/in the background that creep out every now and then. Like, I always have that option in the back of my head

Same. I don’t ever say that to anyone but same.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 01, 2020, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Keep having

Possible trigger:

suicidal thoughts

Sorry bluebird....

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 07:53 PM

My stomach is about to pop. I ate a whole oven pizza.

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2020, 08:00 PM

Time for more coffee. Staying up all night so I can be up early and get my shopping done. Doing a 30 day ukulele challenge

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2020, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I try not to think of it as an option. When I drink one alcoholic drink though, i go into a severe suicidal state. It happened like the last 5 times I had a drink of alcohol.

Possible trigger:

It's like cutting for me (Suffering through my painful thoughts). Maybe that's why I never cut.. the thoughts are painful enough and you can make them interesting too.. anyone can.. painful interesting thoughts

Maybe this isn't helping. Someone else should give a perspective not just mine.. expressing yourself and writing the thoughts down help too.. remember you're manic-depressive so the way you analyze the way you think will change and you'll change your mind about what is good and how things in your mind works, etc..

But dont think of suicide as an option. You can think about it a little - No harm in that. Sometimes I imagine

Possible trigger:

taking all of my xanax - but what if I wake up stupid forever?

Sorry I'm trying to help I'm not in the right state for helping but hopefully reading this helps. If it doesn't discard and know you're great! Good inspiration.. I learn from you..

Thanks Desoxyn, I really appreciate this

Yeah, things always eventually change. 99% of the time I think life is a wonderful gift and I love it

WastingAsparagus · Jun 01, 2020, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm positive most of the time but I have those thoughts underlying/in the background that creep out every now and then. Like, I always have that option in the back of my head

Sorry you're feeling that way. Can you practice anything that helps you recognize them as just thoughts, and not focus on them?

I sometimes like to distract myself when I get thoughts like that, or also changing my focus (to music, or to an audiobook, or something like that) helps.

I also find that if I can just acknowledge those types of thoughts as just being thoughts and nothing that I have to act on or think about a lot, I can let them go. Hopefully that's somewhat helpful...

Desoxyn · Jun 01, 2020, 08:06 PM

Drinking chamomile tea. Took 1/2 benzo. Trying to relax.

Idk if I need the stimulant anymore. Idk if its helping. I'll take it for now cuz I just want to be on the same meds for a year or two regardless even if they don't matter.

Cuz nothing really matters to me right now. It's all too crazy.

I get my invega injection early on Friday i think. I enjoyed the slight psychosis it's like low enough to switch between the two, not low enough to go to one bad side and not high enough to suppress creativity etc - But it's bad for my mental health and stressful.

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2020, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Sorry you're feeling that way. Can you practice anything that helps you recognize them as just thoughts, and not focus on them?

I sometimes like to distract myself when I get thoughts like that, or also changing my focus (to music, or to an audiobook, or something like that) helps.

I also find that if I can just acknowledge those types of thoughts as just being thoughts and nothing that I have to act on or think about a lot, I can let them go. Hopefully that's somewhat helpful...

Thank you, yes I can do that, I like using music and Netflix distractions, they tend to improve my mood

newtus · Jun 01, 2020, 08:13 PM

If I get too depressed, it’s something I have to wait out. I can’t seem to do much for it. If it’s just a low mood I’ll game or something or write.

Desoxyn · Jun 01, 2020, 08:17 PM

I kind of consider mixed dysphoric states as depression. I never really felt sad in a long time because whenever I feel sad, cuz of my post ketamine INFP brain, I really enjoy sadness and melancholy so it just goes away. It seems like the way I want to feel turns into the opposite just cuz.

Erti · Jun 01, 2020, 08:37 PM

Ive had a low mood today too. self harmed today. Just enough to get a little bit of blood.

Erti · Jun 01, 2020, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I kind of consider mixed dysphoric states as depression. I never really felt sad in a long time because whenever I feel sad, cuz of my post ketamine INFP brain, I really enjoy sadness and melancholy so it just goes away. It seems like the way I want to feel turns into the opposite just cuz.

There's no set box to put you in... you are uniquely yours... You're tweaky