Roll Call 172

Angelique67 · Aug 03, 2020, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

0223, wide awake. Tried to sleep but my ankle is jerking like mad--my periodic limb mvmnt disorder. Just cannot sleep when ur leg is kicking all over the place.

Was so depressed yesterday, I considered giving up. Just not sure how much longer I can do this. Just being honest. I am safe, not to worry. I would guess I have had maybe 120 major depressive episodes since birth or so. The cumulative toll of having to try to keep myself alive over the decades is getting to be more than I can do.

Hugs bpcyclist!

Desoxyn · Aug 03, 2020, 01:32 PM

Nice 18 hour sleep. Very entertained by my dreams.

The coffee is gonna kick in and hopefully get rid of my brain fog.

Day 7 without a benzo..

Sometimes psychotic · 02:03 PM

I just ordered three enamel pins from teeturtle...they have so much book oriented stuff....th three are a Harry Potter owl reading a book, a kitty with a with hat reading and then a random narwhal.....so cute!

12AM · Aug 03, 2020, 02:35 PM

Been having anxiety and today, depression. I ordered a gift for my friend’s birthday on Thursday, I keep obsessing about what if I did something wrong like putting the wrong address or something. What if she doesn’t get it on time. What if she doesn’t like my gift. And I’m so depressed that the immigration offices messed up my documents somehow. Office A should have sent office B my documents but they lost track of them. Like how??

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 03, 2020, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Been having anxiety and today, depression. I ordered a gift for my friend’s birthday on Thursday, I keep obsessing about what if I did something wrong like putting the wrong address or something. What if she doesn’t get it on time. What if she doesn’t like my gift. And I’m so depressed that the immigration offices messed up my documents somehow. Office A should have sent office B my documents but they lost track of them. Like how??

Sorry immigration screwed up...government agencies here can be kind of spotty....

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 03, 2020, 04:20 PM

Making baked potatoes with sour cream for din din...

falcon09 · Aug 03, 2020, 04:58 PM

pdoc took me off geodon, moved clozaril back to 400mg

Erti · Aug 03, 2020, 05:04 PM

My anxiety has sky rocket these past 3 weeks. I'm scared to go into a car and ride. I much rather stay home and that's not like me.

cogladaid · Aug 03, 2020, 05:05 PM

Long weekend this weekend. Got paid on Friday paid off most of my one credit card yay! I had to add some stuff to it but not much. So I’m happy about that.

Also bought some booze this weekend. I haven’t bought any in like a month or so. Limiting myself. All good.

Mostly this weekend I’ve been relaxing and studying. Making notes for psych chapters. Almost done a chapter I have 30 pages left grrr.

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 03, 2020, 05:15 PM

My sister had some sort of weird neursensory toxicity to chemo this week......scary.

Blue_Bird · Aug 03, 2020, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Making baked potatoes with sour cream for din din...

That reminds me, I have a potato I've been meaning to bake. Not sure if I'm going to cut it up, season it and bake it or if I'm going to do a baked potato with plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream. I'll figure it out tomorrow

Blue_Bird · Aug 03, 2020, 05:34 PM

Sorry about your sister SP, I hope she's alright

Blue_Bird · Aug 03, 2020, 05:37 PM

Spent the day binge watching Schitts Creek. Now just listening to music an drinking an iced coffee. Will probably clean, read, and draw tomorrow. Something Christmas themed. it's been awhile since I've drawn. It's gonna be a nice rainy day, looking forward to it.

falcon09 · Aug 03, 2020, 05:46 PM

no akathisia today, thank god

newtus · Aug 03, 2020, 05:49 PM

I never talked about this, and I don’t necessarily consider this sexual abuse but...

Possible trigger:

When I was 17 my stepdad kissed me on the lips. I had asked him to, to test him, I almost might’ve been taking ambien at the time too. Idr but I’m sure I was during those years. Anyway, he did. That and a time in high school when a boy tried to have s3x with me, is the closest I’ve come to abuse/harassment of that nature. The boy stopped when I told him I was a virgin.

Erti · Aug 03, 2020, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I never talked about this, and I don’t necessarily consider this sexual abuse but...

Possible trigger:

When I was 17 my stepdad kissed me on the lips. I had asked him to, to test him, I almost might’ve been taking ambien at the time too. Idr but I’m sure I was during those years. Anyway, he did. That and a time in high school when a boy tried to have s3x with me, is the closest I’ve come to abuse/harassment of that nature. The boy stopped when I told him I was a virgin.

Possible trigger:

Hey, sexual abuse is a tricky subject. Not saying your experience doesn't count as sexual abuse or that it's is. but one thing though... that boy who tried backed off when you said you don't want to have sex (or that you told him you're a virgin) but that's tricky. a lot of it borders on the subject but it's all about how you feel about it...

Desoxyn · Aug 03, 2020, 05:59 PM

Why do I have a credit card. Idk. I don't trust it with Tweaky but we're not dissociative so he'll know the password =P

newtus · Aug 03, 2020, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Possible trigger:

Hey, sexual abuse is a tricky subject. Not saying your experience doesn't count as sexual abuse or that it's is. but one thing though... that boy who tried backed off when you said you don't want to have sex (or that you told him you're a virgin) but that's tricky. a lot of it borders on the subject but it's all about how you feel about it...

Possible trigger:

Yea he pushed me down and started kissing me and then I told him I was a virgin

bpcyclist · Aug 03, 2020, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Been having anxiety and today, depression. I ordered a gift for my friend’s birthday on Thursday, I keep obsessing about what if I did something wrong like putting the wrong address or something. What if she doesn’t get it on time. What if she doesn’t like my gift. And I’m so depressed that the immigration offices messed up my documents somehow. Office A should have sent office B my documents but they lost track of them. Like how??

Hey, 12, what is the current strategy for the anxiety and the depression these days?

Erti · Aug 03, 2020, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Possible trigger:

Yea he pushed me down and started kissing me and then I told him I was a virgin

Possible trigger:

Yeah, him forcing himself on you would be consider sexual harassment/assault because him pushing you down and forcing you to kiss him.

bpcyclist · Aug 03, 2020, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Making baked potatoes with sour cream for din din...

Yummer!!

bpcyclist · Aug 03, 2020, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

My anxiety has sky rocket these past 3 weeks. I'm scared to go into a car and ride. I much rather stay home and that's not like me.

I get this way, too. I do prayer and deep breathing, as I cannot take Klonopin. It makes me depressed. Got any low-dose Seroquel hanging around?

Desoxyn · Aug 03, 2020, 06:07 PM

The old man crack addict in the psych ward that sexually harassed me which caused my bad trip was a weird time. And no one did anything about him. Then he died.

Good. Die. Thank ****.

Now I understand the weirdness that people talk about.

Desoxyn · Aug 03, 2020, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I get this way, too. I do prayer and deep breathing, as I cannot take Klonopin. It makes me depressed. Got any low-dose Seroquel hanging around?

50mg of Seroquel is good for anxiety. I can't take it anymore though because it gives me heart palpitations.

Since I stopped Seroquel, I haven't had ONE heart palpitation.

bpcyclist · Aug 03, 2020, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I never talked about this, and I don’t necessarily consider this sexual abuse but...

Possible trigger:

When I was 17 my stepdad kissed me on the lips. I had asked him to, to test him, I almost might’ve been taking ambien at the time too. Idr but I’m sure I was during those years. Anyway, he did. That and a time in high school when a boy tried to have s3x with me, is the closest I’ve come to abuse/harassment of that nature. The boy stopped when I told him I was a virgin.

I am so sorry, newtus. Hugs.

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Roll Call 172

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