Roll Call 172

I hope you feel better soon

Sorry, Kit. What other symptoms are you experiencing? Sleep? Physically fatigued? Appetite? Can u get pleasure from anything?

Hugs!!

Really exhausted this morning. Took 3 hrs to wake up. I feel physically like I used to when my depression is 8 out of 10 bad, but it's only 6 rt now.

Doing some DBT distraction watching this show about people that work on snobby 200-ft charter yachts. Super trashy and spctac scenery. Makes me feel better.

Hugs ase

My sleep is good but I am sleeping more than usual. Also I usually sleep straight through but I am waking up at 1, 2, o'clock and staying awake for a little while. I'm fatigued and getting migraine headaches. My appetite is good (thanks to the AP!) It's a little too good. Nothing feels pleasurable. I sleep to escape life. Having thoughts of harming myself but not suicide. Just dark thoughts. Hallucinations have been okay. Occurring a little more frequently.

Sorry, Kit. Sure sounds depression-y. Shld you think about telling the pdoc? Maybe up your antidepressant?

Hugs

Laying here listening to the rain

Slept in. Didn't feel like getting out of bed.

The metformin is going to desensitize your insulin receptors so you'll process sugar better (Lower blood-sugar levels) - Over time, it will go to fat storage and you'll feel more physical and mental energy like ketosis.

Idk

I think you’re right!!! Thanks!

Getting a Fitbit charge 3 later this week. My sister already has it she just has to drop it off for me.

Therapy was good

My sister has been trying to get my niece potty trained. Niece is 3 years one month old. It's been a fight. Today niece went pee on the potty and clapped her hands and said yay! I think this is forward progress!

I told my sister not to worry and that everyone gets potty trained eventually. She was pushing her though because she needed her potty trained to go to preschool and she needed her to go to preschool because she can't have the older kids trying to watch her and do their homework/school work remotely.

anxious today...not sure if it's akathisia

I am too idk what it is for me

I managed to stop benzos for months to years since I was 16. I never get withdrawal anxiety. My brain is good with them. Today is day 8 without.

I was never really an anxious person because of the apathy towards adrenaline, enjoying thoughts that drive me crazy and general unawareness of my environment. I'm always in my head.. I find it hard to speak to people.. But.. I can write!.. Because I'm still inside of my head when I write..

My cat just puked right now..

Edit: But I do have panic disorder

What's really going on is that I got fired by my psychiatrist and I fired my therapist. So I need to find two new providers now. Dang.

What happened?

Why?....

Why did you get fired and why did you fire your T? That is a lot to lose very quickly. Do you have some supports set up? HUGS!!!

Found out my doctor's appointment is going to be $75 tomorrow and I might not get paid tomorrow like I should. There is money in the company bank account but something to do with the bank changing their fraud stuff and the money hasn't been pulled out of the account yet and it is usually pulled out the day before. I'm a bit worried.

Oy. Thanks for being supportive. Yeah, I really do appreciate it. Yeah the reason I fired my T is because I literally cannot afford it anymore and she doesn't offer sliding scale or anything or accept insurance.

The pdoc fired me because I was wishy-washy about stuff. Figures. I know I'll find a new one but it's a pain.

And I do have some supports though my main supports such as my family right now are angry with me and don't understand what I'm going through. I'm gonna go to some support groups and I'm trying to find new people.

Yeah, T's are expensive. HUGS. Too bad yours wouldn't negotiate on the price. Your pdoc sounds like a jerk to let you go because you were wishy washy. It's hard making treatment decisions for ourselves. If we were all perfect patients we wouldn't need T's and pdocs!

Do you have any NAMI support groups by you? I've been a couple of times to one group. It's kind of helpful. It depends on the group and who comes. But might be worth checking out. HUGS. Talk here if you want. We are listening. Kit

Yikes. Yea my T is expensive a bit even tho I’m on a sliding scale. I have to pay out of pocket because she doesn’t take Medicare. So 70 a pop.

so anxious