Roll Call 174

Well I did get high with a friend and I ended up texting my step mom who is a breast cancer survivor to show me her titties lmao. She has a sense of humor so it was all good.

Lol that reminds me that I do sometimes have fun on certain strains.. But some really make me feel paranoid and more autistic. It also depends on set and setting like how I feel before I smoke and my environment.

But overall I seem to do good without for now.

Edit: Like the best I can do rn on weed is zone out and listen to radiohead

Dude what?! That’s the exact opposite.

Well my friend here is getting his medical marijuana for his mental health and pain in his leg were he broke his femur in half. Which is good because my friends are getting drugged tested because of the cps situation. I rarely smoke or ingest edibles.

I can’t smoke that stuff. I get severe paranoia and hallucinations. Idk why. My anxiety gets so bad. As if it wasn’t bad enough. I’ve tried a handful of times in my life and it was never ever good

CBD flower on the other hand is just fine but I don’t do that anymore. Idk just don’t want to.

CBD I hear can work at as an antipsychotic on a very high dosage of CBD so its' not surprising

Yea, and any form of cbd as in flower, tincture, edibles, etc isn’t real heavy. I remember first using it and ate 3 gummy cbd candy and I was completely fine. I wasn’t paranoid or reacting negatively to it. And it calmed my anxiety so much. Only thing was dry mouth but that didn’t matter. I prefer cbd tincture or edibles. There’s a shop down the street that sells cbd brownies. Crazy amazing. Quite a few vape shops around here sell cbd flower. Just walk in and buy it. And of course they got glassware.

I think I quit using it cuz I was getting that job at the time and apparently cbd can show up on testing because the low amount of thc in it.

I want to self harm I want this pain to stop. I don't want to die... I'm scared. I"m trying not to cry out loud where my roommates can hear me while they sleep.

Please don’t hurt yourself. Do you have something you can distract yourself with?

I just want to be weak into someones arms and someone to tell me everything will be alright

This sounds like a form of delusion. Best thing to do is distract yourself since you're quite treatment resistant. You need to feel calm - And the thing about the kids being taken away doesn't help - Especially if that woman is accusing you of abusing the kids - Which triggers your own trauma.

I love those kids.... I"d never do anything to intentionally harm them. You're right it does trigger my trauma. I would never purposely harm them.

I didn't do the course because my mom was teaching me how to make Caesar Salad. I wrote it down in my notes with pictures. My dad was happy that she taught me because he says that she always makes the best Caesar Salad.

I bought this on Amazon;



You can make 40 different combinations with it. It's something nice to just sit and meditate - Trying to figure it out even on the plane or something. I wouldn't really care about who's looking cuz we're all stuck on this plane together *****es..

I always used to play with blocks when I was a kid. I remember my friend when I was 8 saying "You still play with blocks?" and it made me upset.. I was like "Yeah..".. Even at age 12 or so, I was still playing with blocks making really complex structures... Then I'd knock them down.

Those pictures of you and them were so adorable and heartbreaking. It will get better with time and I know you want what's best for them let alone not harming them.

This was severe lol jesus christ! I lost my mind. I went from manic laughing to panic anxious. That was a mind blowing experience!

me and the youngest last year. She came downstairs and apparently couldn't sleep. I fell asleep a little after she fell asleep with me on the chair. My friend (his kids) came downstairs and took pictures for "blackmail"

Must sleep early 4 work in ,.. morning..

No psychedelics for you!.. Only ketamine..

Only dmt for desox

Nooo.. I threw away.. It wasn't my time.. DMT does you... You don't do it..

Maybe in 10 years if I go to sleep again..

whats dmt like?

Man I give up on this anxiety attack from the edible. Just took some ativan to relieve it. This was crazy people. I'm going through every bad thing I've said in the past 9 years since becoming mentally ill, and jesus Christ. It's way too anxiety inducing to realize it all at once.

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