Roll Call 187

Blue_Bird · Sep 11, 2021, 08:38 AM

Ughhhh I have to vacuum today and I absolutely do not feel like doing it.

I bought some chamomile tea so I can replace caffeine with that eventually, once I’m out of coffee I’m not buying any more except for special occasions like holidays, and my birthday. It makes my acid reflux worse

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Angelique67 · Sep 11, 2021, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unsure123

Sorry to hear that woman has been put in your room. Do you know how long for? Or is it permanent?

When the SW sprang this on us, she said it was only temporary. I'm very skeptical of that. But I'm hoping it's true. Thank you, unsure.

Angelique67 · Sep 11, 2021, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I think I’m just gonna stay on them and stop messing with them. Even when I slowly taper down I don’t do well off them

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I wish I could come off mine too, but I need the AP. I get some delusional thinking even with it.

WastingAsparagus · Sep 11, 2021, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I work part time and go to school I couldn’t handle both full time...do what you can but keep in mind school is just a placeholder to help you find a job.

Yeah I have a relatively long timeframe to finish my thesis, so I think I can handle both work and school. I am done with all coursework. So I have a lot of time on my hands.

Angelique67 · Sep 11, 2021, 09:52 AM

I'm waiting for my headphones to charge. Just about 12 minutes more. Ever since the

discovered she likes the view from my window she's pulling the curtain way open. It's triggering me. I'm remembering having to do things sexually when I was 19. It turns my stomach.

Angelique67 · Sep 11, 2021, 12:09 PM

They have said over and over that it's my right to keep my curtain closed, nothing actually prevents her from opening my curtain. So I have no rights at all.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 11, 2021, 02:19 PM

My sister has it in her mind that my dad doesn’t want to care for her at home so she’s making arrangements with friends. I need to tell my dad but she asked me not to. Sigh.

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Blue_Bird · Sep 11, 2021, 04:03 PM

I might bring my sister some of the chicken I made tomorrow when I go over to her house. I don’t know how spicy she likes her food, I’ll ask first (it’s pretty spicy). If she wants some I’ll bring a small container of it with a hoagie roll so she can make a sandwich and try it.

Also next week I’m making banana bread so I’ll give some to her sometime during the week too

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Desoxyn · Sep 11, 2021, 05:13 PM

Depression:
Cause:
Phenibut taper, kratom and marijuana

Thank you that is all

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 11, 2021, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Depression:
Cause:
Phenibut taper, kratom and marijuana

Thank you that is all

Hugs.......

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Blue_Bird · Sep 11, 2021, 09:06 PM

Having some anxiety tonight. Did a 10 minute mindfulness meditation and am drinking some chamomile tea

WastingAsparagus · Sep 11, 2021, 09:27 PM

Wrote 897 words of fiction... Decent distraction I'd say.

junkDNA · Sep 11, 2021, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I think dissociation is like a reaction of the brain to collect thoughts and images to escape from trauma.. Like daydreaming, having extra thoughts - And when you believe the escape to be real and can't journey back to this realm, - That's psychosis.

I listened to a podcast - I probably shouldn't have shared it with people that have schizophrenia but the reason I did is because they wouldn't be as affected by it as me. It's the craziest podcast I've listened to... About Ayahuasca, healing, shared hallucinations, higher dimensional realms, not having a physical body and spirituality.

I was explaining it to my mom and she got concerned. I was talking like how my dad talks. I think my dad has a form of borderline psychosis all of the time. I can't help it that I act certain ways when I'm excited but also terrified of out there information like this.. JunkDNA said that I shouldn't listen to Terence Mckenna etc too much because it mess me up - And it's true..

Y'know how everyones schizophrenia is different because we're all different people? Like we have different hallucinations would be an example.. - Psychosis has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING - Because trauma and peoples types of karma determines which realm you end up in. Genes seem to cause a similar reality though.. I watched a JBP podcast with Eric Weinstein and they were debating genetics, evolution, society/groups of people.. It was the most hard to grasp conversation I've heard as well (This was 2-3 weeks ago)..

It seems like everything that I learn, I get triggered by it. It makes me think that I'm not supposed to be in this reality. The podcast was talking about the 9 layers of reality (We're in the 3rd) and how - without a body, anything that you think of appears before your eyes.. I have this sometimes when I close my eyes before going to sleep. I like to see closed eye visual (CEV) hallucinations related to and after every thought that I think about and it's a form of mediation.

I'm gonna just dip myself into information like this only sometimes and listen to JunkDNA, stay ignorant of too much about the spirit world and enjoy what I have.. I don't think that writing this would trigger anyone because I don't believe that anyone would think about it as deeply as I do.

My suggestions obviously come from my own personal experiences of getting totally lost in those rabbit holes so to speak, so much that I've lost touch with objective reality just from my obsessive studying of metaphysics and those subjects. I don't mean to impose any sort of advice into you, really. I guess I just relate to the desire and drive to study these things even if it makes me question everything

junkDNA · Sep 11, 2021, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm feeling very strange. I want so badly to get off the perphenazine and thorazine, but every time I do this happens

Can you try tapering the dose instead of cold Turkey

WastingAsparagus · Sep 11, 2021, 09:51 PM

I obsess about nearly everything.

Desoxyn · Sep 11, 2021, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Having some anxiety tonight. Did a 10 minute mindfulness meditation and am drinking some chamomile tea

You're doing this the right way @ B_B!

I just drank chamomile tea.. I was feeling such mental pain and now it's gone. It works like a benzo. I wonder if chamomile tea was the cause of my night euphoria =]

Blue_Bird · Sep 11, 2021, 10:24 PM

My sister can't hang out tomorrow. She's been working a ton and might get called in again tonight.

So, I guess I'll clean, get on the treadmill, and sit outside for awhile tomorrow

Can't sleep

Job 30 26 · Sep 12, 2021, 09:10 AM

I dont know how to get better. = (

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 12, 2021, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

I dont know how to get better. = (

What’s wrong Job?

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Blue_Bird · Sep 12, 2021, 04:00 PM

Practicing ukulele, learning Jingle bells. The dashing through the snow part is pretty complex but it will be cool once I'm good at it

Desoxyn · Sep 12, 2021, 04:04 PM

Woo! Just coffee today + double phenibut (But I'll go back to the taper tomorrow).

I was looking at new psychoactive chemicals.. I don't buy them but I like to look.

I want to increase my understanding of neuroscience. So today I'll do that.

I'm done work for the week =]

Also I want to practice gratitude.

Then I might continue reading about crypto.. and keto fasting..

Blue_Bird · Sep 12, 2021, 04:21 PM

Benefits of playing an instrument. I played violin in orchestra for several years growing up, then guitar a little bit in high school. Now ukulele. I'm sticking with ukulele for now because I'm able to play it without bothering my neighbors in my apartment complex unlike louder instruments, and it can be as simple or complex as you want. I want to keep learning practicing for years and get super good at it

16 Benefits of Playing an Instrument - Piano Power

Desoxyn · Sep 12, 2021, 05:12 PM

6 Habits That Will Help You Build Mental Strength
Focus on One Thing at a Time. ...
Set Aside Time to Move Your Body. ...
Give Yourself a Daily “Mindfulness Break” ...
Carve Out “Self-Care” Time. ...
Set Limits and Stick With Them. ...
Don't Be Afraid to Reach Out for Help.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 12, 2021, 05:25 PM

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Blue_Bird · Sep 12, 2021, 06:20 PM

I am so ****ing sick of pms. I have to deal with this hell every month, and it’s so damn severe each time.

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