Roll Call 188

Sorry, I'm probably just being paranoid, it just makes me anxious because I need it by next week

Watching the last episode of Season 9 of American Horror Story on Netflix

I am going to go down on Klonopin again. I am trying to go down by 0.25 mg. Please let this work!

I just hate the way the Klonopin makes me feel.

I think I'm gonna buy a Lego set. I used to buy Lego sets all the time and put hem together a few years back. It's fun. And it requires focus, plus it takes time. It's a good mindfulness activity you can immerse yourself in

I'm also going to try to learn to crochet. I have hooks, yarn and all that already. I just need to find a good instructional video

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Those sound like productive things to do!

See if your library offers creative bug...it’s crafting videos.....

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When I was in college a few years ago I went off my AP for a little over a year, I was just on my mood stabilizer and ADs during that time. I did well but then I started having issues again eventually so had to start on APs again. I wonder if I could manage that again, it might be possible

Why can't I get over my hatred of these meds

I just need to accept them but it's hard.

I need/want a good 6 months of solid stability, I have to keep taking them and stop messing with/stopping them. Maybe then after that my doctor and I can visit this topic again and decide whether I could come off the APs

Bluebird, have you lately told your sister you want to come off your meds? And have you been having sudden mood swings when talking with your sister? That could be why she's taking a break.

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No I haven't been having mood swings when talking with her, our conversations are always good/pleasant

I haven't told her I want to come off my meds, I don't really talk to her about that

I have had thoughts recently about wanting to come off of my meds as well. The best advice I can give you is to talk to your doctor about it.

I mean I am coming off of Klonopin. So there might be like one problematic med that is causing you to want to come off of them. I sometimes idealize situations in which I was off meds. I'm just speaking for myself here, but I was way worse without meds. Even though I think sometimes (even now) that I was way better without meds, I eventually come around and realize that I'm way better on meds. I hope some of that is helpful to you. Also, usually when people come off of APs or go down on them, (in my experience at least), the dose is tapered gradually and slowly. That way you can assess if there are any problematic things coming up.

I didn't mean to sound like I was criticizing. I'm sorry.

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It's okay, I didn't feel like you were

Thank you. I don't really talk to my family/relatives either, about my mental health stuff. I would if they suggested it because they want to know, but they just never bring it up.


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I reduced the Klonopin by 0.25 mg today and I feel alright. Like whenever I go down on Klonopin I notice an uptick in how jovial I am. I am in a much better mood. I don't know why I ever take this stuff. Oh well.

So, I have some virus, maybe covid because I just got the booster shot. Or maybe it's the flu. I have no idea. But since some point on Friday I've been pretty sick. It's more than a booster shot side effect. I ate today after 2 days without. And I'm going to try to get to the smoke break.

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I hope you feel better soon

Thank you. I'm going to try to get to the lobby.

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FYI you can’t get covid from the shot, it’s not the full virus, just the spike. My bf got what seemed like the flu right after his booster and it was just a side effect, it lasted one day but was severe he cancelled work.

I'm tapering myself off caffeine. Probably not permanently, but I'm trying to stay away from it for like 6 months then maybe add a cup of coffee back once in awhile, like once a week

Working on learning how to crochet

Yes, I know that you can't get sick from a vaccine, usually, but I was really sick and it's lasted since Friday. Saturday is a sick blur. So it's lasted more than 24 hours. Usually if it's a side effect it doesn't last that long in my experience. Thanks for the input though.

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I made it to the smoke break and it went well. The man to whom I recommended Pluto TV (he's a huge classic rock fan and they have lots of live stuff (of the time)) brought his phone to me. It was so strange looking. After a bunch of false starts I finally saw the Google play icon and it was smooth sailing.. the phone let me get all the way to "install" when a prompt arose asking for money! I still can't believe it. I'd like to find out who is behind this scam. I hate when people are taken advantage of because they fall for these scams. I don't know what kind of money they want to install an app but any amount is too much. He could have an Android without all that and use it as a tablet on wifi.

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Watching the Christmas movie Love Hard on Netflix, thanks for the recommendation SP