Roll Call 191

That totally sucks but reminds me of college days..people would routinely set off fire alarms at some of the dorms so you had to go outside in pjs etc.

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Went for a good walk. I feel really good (Likely cuz it's a phenibut day) - I was feeling like the opposite of morphine when I started the walk.

I'm going to Greece in the fall. I can't bring phenibut with me so might have to be on pregab

That's a good idea.

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I'm sorry to hear it. Lots of hugs to you if they're gentle and welcome.

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Greece sounds cool, something to look forward to.

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SK hope you’re feeling better….

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Man I suddenly can’t remember the name of the elementary school I went to around here. My long term and short term memory is ****ed since getting on APs 10 years ago

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Fish oil….helps some but not 100%

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I had surgery yesterday to remove the lump on my lymph node in my neck. Anyway there was a hematoma that showed up because of the surgery and it’s massive on my neck. Spent half the day today at the ER because it grew bigger over night. Ran some tests and a CT scan and they decided they weren’t super concerned but to come back if it got worse. The bruising is awful and I feel deformed. My neck hurts and it hurts to swallow half the time.

I’m supposed to have a follow up with the doctor in a few weeks for test results to find out if the lump is lymphoma or not.

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Hope you feel better soon.

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Finding your own North Star is such a good book…she’s talking about people who stop listening to their body and it sounds a lot like anhedonia….you can be more or less somatic in the way you are but I never considered an advantage to have a physical response to emotions that are buried.

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Hope you feel better soon Cogladaid

I’m having an amazing time playing The Witcher 3, and the music and graphics are just absolutely beautiful. I love getting lost in that world. It’s so massive and immersive. Just spent an hour and a half basically just exploring and doing a quest

I just want to journey alone throughout infinite dimensions

Read This When Your Mind Is A Complete Mess | Thought Catalog

=[ ....

How do I feel energies again... Stop AP. That's how. But too late, they are forever gone. Unless Ayahuasca.

rly need to stop smoking, so expensive

I've been chewing nicotine gum every day for 2.5 years. It's as expensive as smoking (Which is 4x more expensive for me where I live). But when the Wellbutrin increases, I'm gonna stop. At least I'm not smoking cigs anymore though.

I spent a while learning about the spice, "Saffron". My mom says it's the most expensive spice - I remember she bought some when I was a kid and the word sticked with me. Sassafras is used to make safrole oil which can make ecstasy;

"The classic ‘ketone’ approach (certainly not the only possibility, but the best documented one) has a lot of variations, but the basic scheme is the oxidation of the plant oil safrole (1-allyl-3,4-methylenedioxybenzene) into a ketone (3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl-2-propanone), which is then condensed with methylamine and reduced to the final MDMA product."

I tried this drug in 2017 and it gave me good energies (Childhood energies - I've had them a lot as a kid before apathy). It was used a second time in 2019 but it gave me a panic attack so I took lorazepam and went to sleep.

I just thought about it while searching up if "5-HTP" (5-Hydroxytryptophan) can help lift my mood and if I should buy it at the health food store - But too much serotonin can decrease catecholamines;

"Included among catecholamines are epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine (noradrenaline), and dopamine." (Catecholamine - Wikipedia) - This type of stuff is fascinating too.

But I don't want them to decrease and be dissociated from serotonin... I would like a good balance of my neurotransmitters - The Vyvanse.. and Wellbutrin.. Psychiatrist making sure that they are floating around between my neurons.

My mom said that I could take a course in traditional medicines which takes a few years. I could do that... Now that I am extremely hyper aware of/sensitive to everything. I just find that the medicine/drug knowledge goes so deep and can keep me occupied forever.

I think I should just keep studying all of the things that I personally want because it could lead me somewhere good - Much better than freaking out about the news/world/corruption because there's NOTHING I can do to stop that. If something bad happens, I get transferred into another reality and then readjust my course.

Anyways... Yeah.. I am still tired. But I will continue pushing, ignoring, ... insanity..

I should just constantly read wikipedia. That's all I should do.

I’m reading it now

I want to do things and deserve breaks

@SP, I am already a Lori and the author told me to stop reading her book. But no one tells me what to do so I’m going to finish this book 😈

I found the chords for ukulele to a song in a certain city in the game The Witcher 3 that I love

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt OST - Merchants of Novigrad Chords - Chordify

Man, I can’t believe you’re a Lori….jealous.

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