Roll Call 191

Also I'm all about existentialism as it has been explained by Jean-Paul Sartre. This may be peripheral to what this forum is about but "Existentialism is a Humanism" by Sartre is worth reading.

I woke up to a roll of toilet paper tore up all across the bathroom, thanks Miss Mustachio

My apartment quarterly pest control inspection went well today

I hope my apartment building has their corned beef and cabbage dinner for St. Patrick's Day on Thursday, in takeout containers like last year. I won't be home in the morning that day because I'm going to the dentist for a cleaning and exam but I'll be home pretty early. They usually do give out those holiday meals in the afternoon so I won't miss it

I wish I could have Bailey's like I used to to celebrate but I can't drink on my meds

My primary care doctor called in amoxicillin from when I called him about my tooth, the pharmacy filled it today apparently. I forgot I had called him before I made it in to see the dentist. I guess I'll just tell them I don't need it.

Maybe I should just pick them up though and hang onto them until they expire just in case I end up having a tooth problem again and am not able to get into the dentist right away? I don't know

I feel this way a lot abt work. Starting at this new job has made me realize I need to tone it down a lil bit because i feel i might be too much of a personality at first. I feel like some of the older women don't like me. I used to be so quiet and passive but recently I've become more of myself and have found my voice. I just need to know when to use it and when not to

Depends on the cost…if it’s free I’d keep it for emergencies.

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My insurance covers it, it's only a $1 copay so I guess I'll pick it up

I want a Big Mac and fries

I felt really good last night. Mood increase happens often before I go to sleep - I take a walk around the block, listening to music.. And my thoughts are so deep. But loving thoughts of connection.

My therapist still has COVID and her whole family so the appointment is changed to Friday.

So much for "vaccines" lol

I’ve been dissociating since last night after I found out that my cat passed away. I woke up with soreness all over my body. I have no energy and feeling exhausted

HUGS for you @12AM

Hi peeps. Just checking in. The baby shower went okay I didn't SH or anything. I did get to hold my other cousin's baby for a while. She is 3 months old but she is hard of hearing so she doesn't look at you when you talk to her or anything. She is so sweet and just smells like baby. Mmm. So good. Kind of suicidal today but it's just thoughts. No actions or plans. I texted my T so she knows. I think I'm just tired or something. Like I need a break from life. HUGS everyone, Kit

I always drop off my taxes to get them done and my tax lady works on them in between appointments. I dropped them off on Thursday and I haven't heard from her. I'm getting a little anxious to know whether I owe or if I am okay. When I figured it out myself I was getting a small refund but then I didn't have all the financial stuff from my financial advisor so I don't know. Might not be in my favor. I sent her a message asking her if she had any questions on my return. She usually has a couple but she hasn't responded to my email. It's fine. I know she will. I'm just anxious about it.

Getting on the treadmill for 45 minutes tomorrow. Bringing water this time so I don't get overheated again. Also taking a 30 minute walk to CVS and a 20 minute walk to Family Dollar. So I should get a lot of steps in. I took today off from exercise because of the inspection and I also needed to be here for my package.

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My meal plan for tomorrow

2 scrambled eggs, a piece of toast, and 2 breakfast sausage links

a baked sweet potato, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, salad

A rice cake with hummus spread on it

Greek yogurt and a banana


I'm looking forward to next week because I'm going shopping to get stuff for meatball subs.

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I'm completely drained of energy. It's getting worse.

Yet I'm hyper

I haven't talked to my therapist in almost 3 months

I'm trying to find meaning in life but it's difficult. I have everything I need but I need a break. Like when I bought my computer, I was all into adjusting settings, downloading apps - Then it faded. There's just so much stuff to do - And now the American empire crumbles to make way for China lol..

I just need to do something fun. I haven't done anything fun in a long time. I miss the friends that I had when I moved to this place. I blocked a friend because he kept asking for money and I regret that. He's a musician but I was really stressed out.

A mutual friend still stayed friends with both of us (The hippie dude). I thought, last night.. to add him back - And if he still doesn't want to, I'd have to accept that rejection.

I feel alone I guess. After the spiritual experience, I feel like I can actually live life like a normal person. I'm scared to step out of my comfort zone, etc.. I try not to think about the past but I feel like it defines me cuz no one has really dealt with that exact thing as far as I know.

I want to remember good things... Not the cringey thoughts that bother me all of the time - Regretting all of those memories. They repeat and it's all the same stuff.

Thanks for checking in SK. Sorry about the sui thoughts.

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So I was watching animal on Netflix…they were saying how lions were smart because of their social interaction. It’s a critical part of life in many ways. I’m glad you’re reaching out to people.

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They decided 7:30am was a good time to test the building's fire alarm, so I woke up out of a dead sleep because of it thinking we had to evacuate, quickly put on my shoes and grabbed my emergency go bag, stumbled out the door half asleep and someone else said they were just testing it so we didn't have to evacuate, then it stopped, so I went back inside and went right back to sleep

Idk, I feel like 7:30am is way too early to be testing a fire alarm, that's annoying as ****, like they didn't give out any notifications that they were going to be doing it either

Hey SK, I'm sorry your feeling that way, I hope you feel better soon Do you have any coping skills you can use? Maybe a fun hobby you can do regularly to take your mind off negative thoughts? Some of my favorites are playing ukulele, art, reading, playing games, watching movies/shows that distract me or put me in a good mood, listening to music. You got those Crayola watercolor crayons right? Maybe try making a picture with them sometime

I love my cat. She's the best, sweetest little thing. She's very talkative too, it's so cute. I'm so glad I got her. She's my best little friend

I'm going to be calling Bingo here for the building's bingo game next week