Roll Call 192

She said yes, she's going to give her to me!!

Wow what an amazing day. I get a beautiful necklace from the guy I like, and now I'm getting another cat soon (within the next week!) I had to make sure she wouldn't get taken by someone else, I love that cat and would be sad if she were to go to some other person, I want her to stay in our family

Hey everyone. How's it going this morning? (or afternoon if you live somewhere very far east of me).

Pretty good, I'm enjoying a cup of tea right now. Going to make a nice dinner later. Cheesy chicken fajita bake. You take 2 lbs of thinly cut boneless skinless chicken breasts, put them in a 9x13 inch pan, spread a mixture of softened cream cheese, salsa, fajita seasoning, shredded Mexican blend cheese, and sliced red and green bell peppers over it then bake then it's done. I'm having it with a side of Zatarain's Spanish rice w/ bell peppers and white beans. Hopefully it turns out well.

It's 37 degrees w/ flurries right now. So weird, because just the other day it was over 70 degrees.

I'm gonna spend a lot of time reading today

How are you?

a lot has happened at my new job with this kid thats been sexually harassing me. well guess what, he messed w the wrong one cuz now hes being forced out and only has a week left to work there

That sounds good.

I am just dealing with not having enough Klonopin and having to break it to my doctor again that I threw out the Klonopin. So that's not fun.

On a positive note, I read 70 pages of the book I started last night. It's super good and I highly recommend it. "Yes to Life" is the name.

I hope you can figure things out with your doctor

That's great that you've been reading. I haven't read that particular book, I'll have to check it out, but I have read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl and it was great.

Thx, yeah it's a super good book. Frankl is an inspiration, truly.

That's about all I can do today, so I am going to read, read, read.

Dim sum Chinese for lunch today

Woo! Beautiful day ^-;

I am going to tell my doctor on Tuesday that I need to get off of benzos. I want to do a slow tapering schedule. I hope he'll agree to prescribe me more Klonopin. The only reason I need it is to get off of it, paradoxically.

Now that I don't get dissociative panic attacks anymore (Because of the olanzepine), I rarely take them.

I still do take the Kpin when I feel agitated. Once every 1-2 weeks or so. Psychiatrist advised me to do this. You could do that but for severe anxiety.

But I often would rather feel agitated than sleepy.

Yeah for me benzos have a paradoxical effect. It's like they distance me more from my feelings, which isn't good. That is why I am intending on not taking them every day. I know there's a distinction between being addicted to them and feeling dependent on them. But I feel like the line has blurred, even though I am taking them as prescribed (except for getting rid of the Kpin).

Also just took like a 3-hour nap. So, I am not tired.

Woo 3/6 on wordle today!

Morning! I slept early, around 1, and woke up early too around 8. I feel great. Currently doing laundry (two loads) while painting. Later on I’ll vacuum the carpet and clean the bathroom and I will make some Chinese shrimp soup for dinner. I have leftover lasagna for lunch. Then I’ll enjoy my afternoon/night reading Dostoevsky. Hope you guys have a good day ^^

Going to VisionWorks in about an hour. Have an appointment for an eye exam and will pick out some new glasses

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I got an eye exam and picked out new glasses, they should be ready to be picked up in about a week. I had trouble picking out what frames I wanted, there were several good ones that my insurance covered.

The doctor said my eyes look really healthy which they should since I’m young, from the images they took of my eyes they said there’s no signs of glaucoma or cataracts or anything like that, which is good to know.

My prescription changed a little bit, got a slight bit stronger

I’m afraid to go to sleep

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Hugs bluebird…hope you got some rest.

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Thank you, I slept really good, was able to fall asleep after laying down with my cat on me purring and an ice pack on my neck for awhile

Have an appointment with my therapist at 3pm

Yikes, not feeling well from Klonopin withdrawal. Cold turkey was not a good idea. Ugh. Called doctor to see if he could authorize an early refill.

I had a good appointment with my therapist. We talked about my fear of meds poisoning me and she asked if I’d ever had any very adverse effects from meds in the past, I told her



Anyway she said that sounds traumatic and could possibly explain some of my worries about meds poisoning me.