Roll Call 192

I love Tech N9ne, big fan of him

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I worked on my thesis for 50 minutes this morning - that's a change from before, when I wouldn't even touch any work related to it even remotely.

I think that my new meds are working but I’m still not 100% and that’s ok.

I've been having flu type symptoms for a couple of days now so I took a covid test and it was positive.

Oh no! Feel better soon…

I see my psychiatrist today. My mom will be attending - She's likely going to tell him with concern, about my sui thoughts/apathy etc.

I'm quite scared. I don't really even know how to fix this.

One thing that's disturbing for me is that since I started the Wellbutrin, I don't pay attention to some of my actions (And then I forget whether I did the certain thing or not) - What could that be a symptom of? If anyone knows...

Impulse control and really I had forgetfulness with my psychosis

Oh no! Feel better soon!

Yes, I think my ptsd (was Dxd as a teen) worsened my psychotic symptoms and then add in all of the drug use I did it exacerbated a LOT

I had a really good Compassion Sunday, ya'll! I presented to my Church and so far there has been 9 children sponsored! I have another family that I am pretty sure is going to sponsor a child, and 3 more "maybe's" I should know those by next Sunday. And I might pick up another kiddo from this group, I'm debating. The average Compassion Sunday picks up 4 to 5 children getting sponsored, so we doubled that! This is my first "solo" Compassion International event so I feel pretty good about it! All that nervousness for nothing!

Awesome!!!

Hope you feel better Unsure and Desoxyn

Having some biscotti and coffee

I feel as if I keep getting set back. I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel better at this point.

Hi everyone, I got a job interview, but I am nervous as to whether to do it or not.

Have a dentist appointment Friday and also next Monday

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I was anxious before seeing my psychiatrist so I took 0.25mg of clonazepam - Felt a little numb and dysphoric.

He's a really good psychiatrist at listening to me and my mom - Very good. He said that in general, I'm slightly in psychosis (Which I really hate to admit. I don't like to admit it anymore) and I said.. Ok fine.. So he increased the Invega Trinza injection from every 12 weeks to 9 weeks - Which is tomorrow...

At first, he wanted to increase the olanzepine from 10mg to 12.5-15mg and I said "It has made me gain weight" and they (Both him and my mom) laughed - Like yeah.. My standards are high. I like to have a six pack - Cuz I've had one all of my life lol..

But anyways, he refilled my meds to the new pharmacy owned by the woman (From the old pharmacy) that likes me and likes to know how well I'm doing often - Maybe discounted nicotine gum.. So now I'm away from the head pharmacist from the old pharmacy that treats me like an opioid addict.

My psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft.. It seemed to be the best option. I'm not happy about starting it - But if I have to be numb for a while to avoid severe suicidal lows, I guess that it's my best option.

I came home and drank some rum, in despair... And wrote this. I love you all, friends..

We all love you too Desoxyn. HUGS

My dental office called and left a message because they want to schedule an appointment for my root canal. So that means my insurance approved it!!! Yes! So relieved. So I’ll call them tomorrow and schedule another appointment for that. I still need to go to the ones Friday and Monday.

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The cat's hammock thing is supposed to be delivered tomorrow

hmm...

Yknow my mom has always brought the kitties with us wherever we moved. We've spent thousands of dollars on them - Even moved them across the Atlantic.

They are family. Now my cat is puking every day. 500 dollars vet appointment and nothing wrong... It will likely just be a thing.

My cat will be with me as a soul in the afterlife.. And maybe at that time, I'll be the small creature next time.

So I slept in the living room on the couch last night so I could sort of be there case the cats start fighting because I wanted to see how they would do together throughout the night. They seemed to do okay because I did fall asleep for a couple hours and nothing bad happened. Mustachio will not tolerate being shut in my room anymore, she's too curious about Maybelle, she cries really loudly constantly to get out so I kind of have to get them used to being together all the time now. I'm probably going to sleep on the couch the next few night just until I feel like they will be okay together if I sleep in my bedroom

Cats are the best family

I woke up at 3:30 AM this morning. Oh well. At least I got okay sleep.