Roll Call 194

Desoxyn · Jul 05, 2022, 09:30 PM

My mind is much clearer - I woke up starting in the afternoon. I feel sad though. But it ok

WastingAsparagus · Jul 06, 2022, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

A light moodstabilizer I use is Trilipatal, side effects are pretty agreeable. No weightgain, no rash, dont have to take tests to check on the liver. I hope you find a mood stabilzer that works for you, Cog!

Hiya friends,

I talk to my therapist tomorrow I have a lot to talk about, especially since it's been 5 weeks since last time I talked to him. I've been doing so-so. Work is hectic, I need to find a new job but I feel hopeless every time i sit down to look for anything I might be qualified for. Everything is business this, or underqualified that. Maybe I should hit the books, and work on my grammar and punctuation so i could be a copy editor? I definitely need to work on my resume. I have a type cover.

My reading group is tackling my favorite book, so Im helping people understand it. It's very rewarding. I wish I could do this stuff more often. It's very time consuming though.

I think benzo's are messing with my cognition. I'm definitely having trouble stringing long sentences and/or multiple sentences together. Unacceptable! haha I see my pdoc on the 22nd, so hopefully we can find a way to get off it while keeping my sleep routine, if I can call it sleep. PTSD and sleep really mix well. I've sacrificed enough to psychiatry, this is the one thing I will not give up--the ability to read books. That's my line in the sand. Give them an inch and they'll make you a numb, dribbling, zombie.

Tried twitter agan for a 4 month trial run, I changed, but man, I met some deranged people. After I saw one woman talk about dipping a man in acid, saw how many people liked it, I said enough. That place is crazy town. What madness.

On page 134 of my book. Still not going to publish it, at least for another year.

Newtus, are you working on a project these days?

Yeah I need to get off of benzos, too. I have so much proof that they screw with my cognition. They diminish my "mental acuity". I always say that to my psychiatrist and I'm sure he has no idea what I'm talking about. Anyway. I am getting off of Zyprexa, as that one has messed with my head for long enough. Risperdal is more agreeable for me. Anyway, if you're comfortable doing it, I could help with the resume stuff. I just recently helped a friend with his resume. Of course, no pressure at all.

WastingAsparagus · Jul 06, 2022, 07:01 AM

I've been progressing a lot with creative writing as of late. I have written almost a whole chapter on my book. My thesis is going well too.

Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 07:02 AM

Good morning, going to push myself to exercise today.

Wanted to sleep in a bit but Stash woke me up by biting my nose and toes while I was sleeping, so I just fed the cats their breakfast and they’re happy.

Waiting to hear from my college. The admissions person said she forwarded my email to the advising department so they can figure out what my next steps are

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Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 07:51 AM

Walked downtown. Sitting at a bus stop watching the pigeons eat the bread someone put out for them

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Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 08:11 AM

Should have took a picture while I was there. I’ll take one next time I see them. There was a ton of them. They’re always down there. They’re really such pretty friendly birds, I don’t know why everyone hates them so much

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Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 09:24 AM

Did 40 minutes of walking outside and 30 minutes on the treadmill. Next is weights and resistance bands. Then I’m done with exercise for today.

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Angelique67 · Jul 06, 2022, 09:43 AM

My hair is tangled again. I have to see the supervisor nurse about getting a dental appointment. I'm so tired. The machine is out of Coke.

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Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

My hair is tangled again. I have to see the supervisor nurse about getting a dental appointment. I'm so tired. The machine is out of Coke.

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Hope you're able to get your dental appointment

Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 09:50 AM

I have an appointment tomorrow morning then after that I'm going to my friend's house because it's his birthday, I have a present I bought for him so I'll bring that. We're gonna play some Digimon TCG (card game) and probably some videogames too

cogladaid · Jul 06, 2022, 10:59 AM

Finished up with the psychiatrist a little while ago. Advising me to stay away from alcohol (for my mental health and my liver of course), get back to exercising. And she’s going to think it over what to do.

1. Keep on the lithium as is and see how it goes.
2. Go back up on the lithium and see if I get the same side effect (excessive thirst).
3. Stop lithium and go back on escitalopram.
4. Stop lithium and go on Wellbutrin.

She’s going to wait until my blood tests come back and see what would be best. If she can’t figure it out she’ll consult with someone who specializes more with mood disorders.

So I just wait for now.

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SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 11:32 AM

Anxiety! Anxiety! Anxiety! (Again!)

Angelique67 · Jul 06, 2022, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hope you're able to get your dental appointment

Thank you, Blue_Bird !

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Angelique67 · Jul 06, 2022, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

Because the lithium was causing me trouble and I got a rash while I was on lamotrigine (and got COVID at the same time as that) doctor has referred me to the psychiatrist and an allergist. It could have been COVID for the rash, but it could have been lamotrigine. Or could have been Advil.

Anyway I talk to the psychiatrist tomorrow. Allergist next month. Gastro doc next month as well (make sure my celiac is still in control and my gut is working good). Then CT scan on neck (make sure everything is still okay where I had that lump removed) and abdomen (because my liver numbers are off still) end of next month.

Had another blood test today to check how my liver is doing.

I’m so sick of all this and I’m worried it’s something really bad.

Since I stopped drinking and eating so bad I’ve lost like 20lbs which is good. But my liver numbers still aren’t great. They told me I have a fatty liver and I’m trying to do what they say to do (black coffee, low fat, no alcohol) but idk if it’s working or something is seriously wrong with me.

I’m realizing I’ve really let myself go during the last couple years in the pandemic. I thought I was just off mentally but I’ve ****ed up myself physically as well.

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Sending hugs Cog.

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Angelique67 · Jul 06, 2022, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Anxiety! Anxiety! Anxiety! (Again!)

That sounds bad, I hope it runs out of steam soon. Hugs!

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Sometimes psychotic · Jul 06, 2022, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Anxiety! Anxiety! Anxiety! (Again!)

Hugs SK…do you get it more when isolated or with others ?

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SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Hugs SK…do you get it more when isolated or with others ?

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Good question! I'm not sure! I seem to be getting it all the time now! Maybe when I get back on a higher dose of my AP it won't be happening all the time. Plus I ordered this device online called calmigo CalmiGo - Your Calming Companion – CalmiGoshop that is supposed to help you regulate your breathing and help with anxiety symptoms but I am not supposed to get it until Monday....

Blue_Bird · Jul 06, 2022, 02:33 PM

Meeting with an advisor at my college next week to fill out paperwork and pick classes

Sometimes psychotic · Jul 06, 2022, 02:46 PM

I could sooo use a milkshake

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SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I could sooo use a milkshake

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Yum! Me too. Or a smoothie!

SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Meeting with an advisor at my college next week to fill out paperwork and pick classes

Good luck! I hope it goes well!

SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 03:55 PM

My therapist texted and said she is feeling a little better. She asked how I am. I haven't responded yet because I don't know how to answer that question. I mean.....it's like, how much do I say? I know she is sick so I don't want her to feel like she needs to make time to see me if she isn't up to it. But on the other hand I try to be honest with her. I'm trying to figure out the right balance of a response. It's tricky!

SlumberKitty · Jul 06, 2022, 03:58 PM

Still so ridiculously anxious! SIgh.

Sometimes psychotic · Jul 06, 2022, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

My therapist texted and said she is feeling a little better. She asked how I am. I haven't responded yet because I don't know how to answer that question. I mean.....it's like, how much do I say? I know she is sick so I don't want her to feel like she needs to make time to see me if she isn't up to it. But on the other hand I try to be honest with her. I'm trying to figure out the right balance of a response. It's tricky!

Be honest…she can refer you to someone if needed….

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