Roll Call 198

Sorry. I feel better. I'm taking a Dexedrine vacation for few days.

I’m sorry, that’s really difficult I know it’s not the same but you have us here

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Kit, I hope your mom feels much better soon. Hugs.

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I’ve been drinking too much again and my mom is concerned. I just slipped up again and fell into bad habits again.

Sigh. I don’t know why. I think I feel okay mentally.

I need to start getting back into good habits. Like going to the gym.

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Hugs SK

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Happy birthday to junkDNA, hope it's a good one.

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Happy birthday JunkDNA!

Happy birthday, JunkDNA!

I felt horribly depressed last night towards the end of yesterday. But I went to sleep and I feel better. Helped my mom clean up snow (there was a big snowstorm last night) and I feel a little more energized and optimistic.

I think this is really a sign I need to go back to the gym. For endorphins and all.

Just have to do it. Procrastinating.

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Never mind. Back to feeling horribly depressed.

Don’t want to work.

I’m going to take the day off tomorrow. It’s still snowing and my mom put away the winter tires already so we don’t want to go anywhere. I’m supposed to work in the office tomorrow.

Take the day off and have an extra long weekend.

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I think I have arthritis in my fingers of my left hand. I don’t know if this is real arthritis or just the drug induced lupus.

I wish I had an answer but I go for a blood test next week and then see the doctor the week after.

I hate waiting.

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Hugs cog and enjoy your day off.

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Going Spring skiing =]

Cutting the Thorazine out. Slowly. Halving the dose for a week then cutting it completely out.

If that goes well at the end of May when I see my psychiatrist again asking about coming off abilify

Staying on trileptal and Zoloft.

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My mood is good, I feel motivated

I feel stable. I occasionally have times where I feel dissociated but I seem to be able to cope with them. I managed to do my volunteer job yesterday by myself even though I felt anxious and dissociated part way through and on the way home.

I haven’t had bad mood swings lately

I haven’t been paranoid like I used to.

I’m actively working towards/ getting prepared for getting a job , going back to college in fall, and will continue to volunteer

I think I’m on my way to recovery

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Hi everyone. Mom is back in the hospital. Her blood pressure was really low last night. Like 66 over 40 something. Dad took her to a better hospital that is farther away. They are waiting on a bed for her. Kind of scared. Kit

My therapist had said she would do appointments while she was on vacation. Turns out she is only going to do one appointment while she is away. It happens to be the same day as my psychiatrist but it should work out. I'm just a little disappointed because I thought I would get my usual number of sessions. I guess I assumed and she didn't clarify. Bummer.

Day off today. Went with my mom did some shopping.

Costco (got crab legs, lobster tails, potatoes and corn and a couple other things), Starbucks (americano misto with almond milk and sugar free vanilla), went to another store (got mussels, shrimp ring, brie, and a couple other things), Sobeys (milk, peanuts, gluten free cheesecake variety pack, and chocolate eggs), liquor store (tequila, triple sec, wine, elderflower liquor), and Starbucks again (my sister wanted something on the way home so I ended up getting another drink - this time a London fog with sugar free vanilla).

It’s Good Friday tomorrow which in our household means meatless (we do meatless for Good Friday and Christmas Eve). So we’re having shrimp ring, and Brie with crackers and homemade habanero jelly for lunch. Seafood boil for dinner (the lobster, crab legs, mussels, potatoes and corn).

Lamb on Sunday (always lamb on Easter Sunday). Don’t really have much planned for this weekend.

Not sure what to do with the rest of my day off. Watching soap operas right now. Going for a gluten free burrito later (they’re on special). Probably have a few drinks. Maybe we’ll go to Winners or something.

My hands feel a little stiff again today but I feel okay mentally. Not much else to report.

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Since last night, my whole body just feels pure exhaustion. It's the same this morning. Could be skiing combined with less dextroamphetamine. It's not pleasant, stimulant-antipsychotic syndrome.

I'll quit the olanzepine eventually and just take 5mg PRN (Like how it was around ~2017-2020).

The 10mg of olanzepine (For 3 years), did it's job.. to balance my brain..

I miss 2018-2020, when I moved here. I had friends then.

Spring/Summer will only be good if I'm happy and have motivation.

Last night I got a shower in between work and Church. No one was home so I left the door open because my dog Zoey likes to be with me every second that I am home. So I thought she would just lay on the rug or something. Uh-uh. She jumped in the shower with me and was in there for about 75% of it! She got so so wet! I did blow dry her some but boy was she all wet especially around the ears. Silly puppy. What a sweetie. Love her.

Don't know why my pictures always turn out sideways.

Gonna go visit my Mom at the hospital after work. I am leaving 1/2 an hour early (got my bosses approval) because with good traffic the hospital is an hour and 15 minutes away, then you gotta park in this parking structure and walk about half a mile back to the hospital. At least I am off tomorrow. I can spend the whole day with her if I can.

Was going to get burritos on special but we didn’t want to leave the house so we ordered in pizza and wings. Yummy yummy.

Finished it all off because we were hungry.

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I have been away for a while again. Too much has been going on. Changing therapists and what not. Should be more steady now.