Roll Call 200

Hugs BB. You are the most loved soul =]

I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive. They're depriving themselves by staying distant.

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BB, I had to break off contact with a relative who caused me chronic pain. It's been 14 years now, I think. Another relative texts, but I have to walk on eggshells not to have them blow up at me. Families are hard work.

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Thanks everyone

I’m kind of in a weird mental state lately. I am trying to find how one would fight off the urge to

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-Strong support system
-belief in a self-purpose
-a belief in a benevolent higher power that will help you through can help
-focus outside of oneself (helping others) for extraverts or focus on the betterment of oneself (being the best you you can be) for introverts, of course both are good for both

I had a pdoc appointment yesterday. She's switching me from cariprazine to asenapine. She said it tastes bad (it dissolves under your tongue), but I actually like it. It's black cherry. Very strong though, it made my tongue numb.

I'm feeling very paranoid about a work situation and I keep going back and forth on whether it's just paranoia or a legitimate thing that's happening. I feel like all the other volunteers are trying to get me kicked out. It's a long story I'll save for my t.

This is very interesting/eye opening for me.. My psychiatrist tries to tell me this, but I guess my work problems really are paranoia (Last year especially).

Ooh that's positive! That is awesome about the music stuff and proud of you for doing those volunteer jobs, those are not easy!

I have been playing guitar every day, thankfully, haha. Just because I think I would not be able to maintain my sanity without guitar. Or something like that.

I've been stuck on my novel for a little while, so I think I'm just going to work on some other project for the moment or write a different part of the novel.

Anyway, thanks for checking in.

Hey blue_bird, sorry you're dealing with that. Have you tried listing things that are truly meaningful to you? That can help.

My program manager knows I volunteer with kitten angels so he asked me today when I was walking downstairs what the process for adopting a cat would be because there’s a tenant here who wants to adopt. So I talked to the head of volunteers and got him the number of to the lady in charge of adoptions and whatnot so he can call and try to arrange an adoption for one of the tenants here. I just ran into the person, she’s really nice. She’ll be a great person to take care of a cat. She’s new here.

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Thanks, yeah I think these are the things that are meaningful to me

My family (despite us not being close)
My kitties
My boyfriend
My friends (even if a lot of them
/most are online friends)
Volunteering , especially with Kitten Angels
Music, playing ukulele, piano, violin. Playing those all help me a lot
My other hobbies (videogames, card games, rpg board games, etc) painting, any kind of art, reading, watching shows/movies.
Being out in nature (though I rarely get to do it)

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Also I just found out I might be nominated as tenant of the year

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That’s awesome!!!

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Hello everybody!

Been a while. How’s everyone doing?

I’m doing okay except for a blip with more voices. At the mo I’ve been prescribed Mirtazapine along side my venlafaxine to see if that helps. Hoping I won’t need to increase Clozapine … figure the anxiety is making that side of things worse. Also seeing occupational therapists to help me at home.

So basically the winner(s) are filmed and speak about how supportive housing has helped and impacted their lives. Attend the 2023 annual awards gala in Capitale, Bowery, New York City, accept award on stage (no speech necessary) and also get filmed for a short film that will be shared on the networks website and social media pages. The winner receives a $200 gift card. Travel and lodging for out of towners will be available upon request. The tenant of the year winner will also receive free admission to the Networks Annual New York stay supportive housing conference.

All tenants who are nominated will receive a certificate and be invited to participate in a nominee gathering post event

So I’m gonna consent to it and see what happens! Even if I don’t win it will be good

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Yeah so I saw my doctor today. He checked me over. Ears are fine, throat is fine, etc. Figures it could be some random viral infection so take it easy next couple days. If I don’t feel better by Monday than it might be something else so I have some blood tests I can do and then can book a follow up appointment.

So I feel bad taking days off work sick but I have a sick note and I’m taking tomorrow off as well.

I hate feeling sick. It’s like this pressure in my head with some lightheadedness. It’s worse when I sit or stand. Better lying down.

I also called the gastro doctor to see if they can give me another appointment. A couple months ago I randomly started being lactose intolerant again and I don’t know why. It’s not urgent but I want to look into it.

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Hey! Welcome back! Glad you’re doing well I had a blip myself, med increase.

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If you accidentally eat wheat it can happen again. Sorry you’re feeling sick but woo sick day!

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I accidentally ate a couple tortilla chips that had wheat in them, but the lactose intolerance came back before that so idk.

Also I was off sick yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow so I feel bad lol.

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Went to bed at 4:30am. I wanted to wake up early, but dreaded doing "morning tasks" (To get ready for the day) - Many schiz people can barely do those, at least I can do them.. So I guess I should feel accomplished. Cuz I never used to do them, when I was really sick and screwed up.

But I can't stay up late anymore. I need a lot of sleep. And even though I feel a perfect mood and mental state/the greatest, without problems (At night), I'll just have to accept it.

Or something can be done with my psychiatrist idk.. I felt like I was getting skinnier (Without the olanzepine) idk. I'll try again (5mg of olanzepine), without it (And replace it with 3mg Invega pills at night), and just take the olanzepine as PRN.

The Vyvanse and Dexedrine is a real issue.. I'm quite tolerant to massive doses. If I were taken off of them, I'd get some dystonia (By day 2), possible heart irregularities (Like how people can die, during crystal meth withdrawal, in their sleep). It will have to be lowered SLOWLY. That's all I ask.

I'm very vulnerable, with these meds. And I hope people listen to me. The biggest problem in my life - Is that I either didn't say anything, and let abuse or malpractice happen, or that (When I did?) - No one listened to me. Especially cuz I was too young.

Pretty proud of myself. Gotta keep it up.

I just took a COVID test to see if what I have is COVID and it came back negative. So just some random infection hopefully? I think I feel a little better but we’ll see how I feel by Monday morning.

Not doing much else just watching tv with my mom.

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I went to the library today and picked up a few books. One is a music theory book. Another is a keyboard/piano book. And the other is a novel called The Tattooist of Auschwitz which is based on a true story.

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I picked up my Mirtazapine this afternoon. Will be taking my first dose tonight. I’m hopeful it’ll go well. Last time I tried a new add-on med it made me worse.

Congrats at over a month alcohol free!

After being abstinent for over a year and a half, I started drinking again. Was fine for a while but the alcohol creeped up on me and now I’m reducing and hopeful going tee total for a while.

I’ve not had a drink today as I want the new med to work well.

Hey every day is a day. I stopped for a while and thought I could do moderation but it eventually sent me drinking half a bottle of tequila and throwing up so I stopped for good.

I don’t really miss it. I like fancy flavoured drinks so I’m sticking with like fancy canned mocktails. There’s this place in town that sells like AF beer (also gluten free), AF wine, and canned mocktails. I love it.

I’ve also being filling my time with events and activities. Football games, soccer matches, walks with dogs, random shopping trips, Starbucks, massages, going to the gym.

Whatever works for you! I wish you the best just before careful.

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