Roll Call 201

I understand why people hate “Karen’s” so much though. There’s nothing worse than a customer demanding to speak to your manager when you’re literally just trying to do your job or it’s your first day lol

Stop this existence right now, forever

It's too much

And it has already stopped, forever. That's why it continues, forever.

I'm incredibly scared that something bad will happen.

I don't understand.

What the hell is this reality. Get me away from it.

It's a dream, a horrible nightmare. Why should I have to listen to anyone?

They think it's real. It's not.

I lack confidence

I feel better. I had some sort of existential, philosophical episode - And needed to think it out. I knew that I would.. And that it'd be okay again..

I am nothing but sea waves on the beach.

My schedule should be posted sometime tomorrow, their work week starts on Saturdays and goes through Sundays. I'm guessing I have tomorrow off since the schedule won't be made till tomorrow. Which is fine with me. I need to go grocery shopping and also go to another store and buy some household essentials and am gonna watch a movie with my bf since he's off on weekends.

Sunday I have a violin lesson, but I may have to rescheule that depending on what my work schedule ends up being. I hate not knowing. I like to obsessively plan my days weeks in advance. I hate not knowing till the last minute

I just realized how many typos there's been in my posts the past three days, there's a ton. I usually try to make sure there's never any, that's just how I am but it's just been a busy three days with volunteering tuesday then work Wednesday and Thursday and getting home so late, just been tired

Am I just being paranoid about worrying about getting fired because of my first day on the register being difficult, I figured out the basic transactions but the more complicated stuff I haven’t gotten down yet and have to ask for help every time on those things. I feel like maybe I’m just stupid or something and keep worrying they’ll fire me for a bad first day on the sales floor

Also I feel like their training isn’t sufficient. Like they let me shadow someone for 40 minutes then I was on my own. As someone with no cashier experience at all (which they’re fully aware of) that seems a little fast. It’s a lot of information and process to take in in 40 minutes and try to memorize (which isn’t possible) which results in me feeling stupid because I have to call someone over every other transaction to help me

It’s not that I think I’m not capable of doing it, it’s just gonna take a little time. At least a couple weeks. I just keep getting worried I’ll get fired

Have you tried taking notes?

I can try, there''s not really much time in between customers, it's busy because it's back to school season so there's tons of people buying clothing for their kids. I might be able to during my 30 minute lunch break one time though

Oh yeah I get a 30% discount whenever I shop there since I’m an employee. So I can just give them my badge to scan if I buy stuff there and get a big discount every time. They have really nice stuff at decent prices. I might go clothes shopping there next weekend after I get my paycheck

Nice!

Just have to be patient with yourself it takes time! No one expects you to be an expert on day one. And if they do well they’re not a very good company.

You got this 🩷

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I got two of my tattoos yesterday! I had the day off so I just did it. Scorpio on one arm behind my elbow and Aquarius on the other (for my sister and mom).

Got a butterfly planned above my right ankle for the end of the month. And getting a spider on my left bicep also at the end of the month.

Excited!

Other than that, not much happening.



This is what the two tattoos look like on paper.

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Thank you, you’re right! I think I just over think things sometimes and get over critical of myself

Awesome tattoos! Tattoos are so fun

The butterfly is custom but based off:



Something like this. Blue butterfly.

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And the spider is just a flash piece:



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Those are awesome Cogladaid!

My supervisor called me and asked if I wanted to pick up a shift tomorrow so I’m working tomorrow from 5pm to 11pm

You're very smart BB! You're just a little anxious, but can overcome anything =]

I had a very bad day today. My mom wanted to bring me to the ER, but I said "No.. They'll put me on clozapine". So I avoided that..

I just want to inject codeine (Sorry AtypicalDisaster).

But I feel better.. It was about an African immigrant asking me questions (About having only a part time job) - He laughed at me texting (To a friend about what to say to him - Even though there was nothing to do) and he said "Idk if your mom gives you money or what" - And I told him.. About the schiz.. and my moms ex (Which had nothing to do with it really), so now I feel pathetic.

But I kept saying that life isn't real, an illusion (To my mom).. and I don't like working there. I'll find another job though (Cuz I worked there for 3 years - Too long.. Idk). If things go well, I won't leave (I guess). He was being nosey (But I understand that now, cuz I was putting up walls.. and not giving him any information).

It's good.. To live, under the fall of the American empire. We will have a good time. That's why I did all of those research chemicals.

But I'm much calmer now, and so..

Now it's everyone else's turn.

I bought a new pan, I’ll post a pic of it in a second. I have needed a pan like this for a long time because I haven’t had hamburger helper in years because none of my pans or skillets are deep enough for everything to fit in without overflowing. And none of them have a lid. This one does. This sounds so stupid but anyway I’m excited about it. I bought a pack of ground beef and hamburger helper. I still need to get milk I forgot it. I can get it next week though the ground beef went straight in the freezer when I got home from the grocery store today so it’s fine. I also bought Pillsbury crescent rolls to go with it. So I’m thinking Wednesday I’ll make some hamburger helper, crescent rolls, and canned peas on the side. The pan gets here tomorrow. I’m so excited. I love hamburger helper. It’s such an easy delicious meal.

Trying to come up with stuff to put on my grocery list for next week. Hoping to go Wednesday. Don’t want to go Monday on a holiday and Tuesday I volunteer. I don’t know if I’ll be working Wednesday or not but if I am hopefully it’s on a night shift so I can just go grocery shopping in the morning , come home and cook and eat.

Might see if I can find a good crockpot recipe for something on Pinterest, I haven’t used my crockpot in many months.

I’m listening to Christmas music right now and feel really good

Finishing up a load of laundry then gonna try to go to bed.

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Here it is. I also got a cheap digital watch so I can tell the time without having to check my phone at work when I’m on the sales floor and a padlock with a key for my locker in the break room

You know you’re an adult when you get excited over a new pan hahah.

But no it’s great!

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