Meditation anyone? 30 minutes a day for 8 weeks... you in?

Wow!! I love everything about this!! Especially the beautiful image! Thank you so much ((((((((((ss))))))))))) I really needed tor read something like this today. I have been so absorbed with this annoying data rebuild that I forgot the spring equinox too. Thank you so much for this timely and uplifting reminder!

PS: I'm so glad you're feeling better today! Yay!

Welcome! Great to have you aboard!

Welcome Insignificant other! Thanks SS for that quote. It was very uplifting and inspiring. I feel in ways that after a deep sleep that went on for years, I'm being called to wake up and really live, to stop being a victim of fear. That was a timely reading for me. The ascension page mentioned 12/21/12. What does that website expect to take place at that time, the end of the Mayan calendar?

Wow!! I am really glad the quote spoke to you guys as powerfully as it did to me. It was brought to me 'by chance' today when I went looking for spring equinox pics. First it was the image that drew my in and then when I read the message I knew it belonged here with us.

Knowing it was a good message for us all to hear, most of all I felt it was timely for Lavie. When I read it I immediately remembered some of what you shared with us Lavie about your hopes and dreams and feeling like they may never be realized. I hope we can all make our intentions known and live as though they are on their way to finding us.

It also struck me as the right time for us to pick up on the idea of doing vision boards. What do you guys think? Its an open invitation to anyone who wants to participate. We can share ways of doing them if anyone needs some direction.

I think that is probably a good assumption Lavie. There is a lot of mis-uses of the Mayan prophecies so it is hard to say exactly how these folks are interpreting them. It doesn't seem like they are falling into the paniced 'end times apocalyptic' scenerios. It seems more in line with the 'completion of a calendar cycle signaling a transition time' scenerio.

Okay.... I finally followed lead and went to youtube to find some guided meditations. I listened to a few different ones and found them very helpful. The last one I followed was a chakra meditation. Its about 10minutes and if you guys are game I would like us to use it for our cyber meditation next week. Here is the link.

Excellent!! That sounds perfect! Thanks (((((((ss)))))))) I will check that link out tomorrow for sure. My brain is on overload right now from all the computer stuff and even though I still find myself compelled to turn my laptop on as soon as I get home, I'm going to force myself to close it down now and go to bed!!

Wishing everyone a peaceful night

funny.. I am the same. Even if I am stuck on the computer all day with some work related project I still end up back on it to come here or surf around.

I was trying to read a book a little bit ago and the constant ringing in my ears seems distractingly annoying. Enough so that I had to put the book down. I sat with my eyes closed for a while to try to describe the sound. To try to think of some sound I could use to describe it. A cross between a ring and a buzz. Maybe sort of like a tuning fork but not really.

So I googled the question and it took me to information about tinnitus and it sounded like a match. I went on to learn that there are 2 combinations, misophina and hyperacusis. Basically a dislike or an over amplification of environmental sounds.

It started to really make sense to me. Beyond the constant buzzing, rinking.... whatever which can range from annoying, to irritating to crazy making..... I have always contended that I am hypersensitive to sounds that other people may not even notice.

I am having a bit of a light bulb moment wondering just how much my issues with anxiety are related to the tinnitus and not its own isolated disorder. Its an interesting new link to consider.

Just too bad my appointment with the pdoc has been put off for 2 months. No point in talking with my gp about it. When I told him I was hyperventilated from accute anxiety now and then he sets me up for a lung test. Even though my hearing is fine no doubt he would send me for a hearing test. I guess they just don't have enough time in med school to cover all the basics. lol.

Anyways.... I am off to bed too with the buzzing in my hear seemingly using a megaphone tonight so may need the tv on to muffle it a little.

Here's a last bit of interesting info about it.... one of the sound therapy treatments is the sound of rain and rushing water. Go figure those are two of my favourite sounds especially when anxiety is high. Hey... this may also explain why I stick mostly to the channels without commercials or if there are commercials I mute them out until the show comes back on. Be it tv or radio.

I think I am going to start tracking the level of the sound in my ears and see how the volume might be influenced by levels of anxiety or visa versa. Interesting hey.

Anyone else have this annoying buzzing in their ears?

Wow. Talk about synchronicity. I was PM'ing with another PC friend, who like me, has tinnitus and musical phrases that repeat endlessly. I was again googling last night about the "Musical Ear Syndrome". I have occasional tinnitus, but it's mostly the endless music that drives my insane. I used to get breaks from it, but now it's constant, unless I'm asleep. It also interacts with environmental sounds, picking up on the pitch of running water, a fan, my car engine, etc. There's at least 5 possible causes, and no cure. I can't believe that with all the problems I've had all my life, this was also added four years ago. (Boo hoo, poor me ) It does make silent meditation based on breath very hard, as the music is impossible to ignore. I guess that's why I've turned to listening to dharma talks, reiki music, and guided meditation audio files. Love to you all.

I'm really sorry you guys are both dealing with tinnitus and other sound related problems. That must be really tough. I can well imagine how tinnitus would make anxiety levels spike and, as you say, ss, could even be causing the anxiety in the first place. It's such a chicken and egg situation regarding which comes first, the anxiety or the physical symptoms. Very often I do think that our anxiety is caused BY certain physical symptoms/conditions. Then again, if we are naturally anxious, this may make us more susceptible to these physical conditions and so it becomes a vicious cycle. (I don't know if this refers to tinnitus, I'm thinking more about chronic pain conditons).

I'm with you about needing to block out commercials on TV, ss. I don't watch much TV at all and the commercials are one reason why.

On a more positive note, I am almost done with my data re-build and the books are balancing again!!!! I am soooooooooooooo relieved!!!!! I was literally tearing my hair out!!!!! I've been sleeping badly these last few nights but I'm hoping that now it's pretty much sewn up I will have a better night tonight!!

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Sundog, I 'm so glad that the data re-entry is nearly complete. That must be such a relief. I hope that you get better sleep at night as a result. SS, I'm sorry that you have tinnitus and the stress that it causes. Sorry that I launched into my sound-related tales of woe, rather than respond to what you wrote. I really feel for you. In fact, I feel for you and Sundog and other PC friends more than I can formulate in words, for some reason. I guess it's the depression and anxiety draining my brain power. I hope that I don't seem too self-absorbed.

You don't sound self-absorbed at all!! Also, you express yourself really well!!!

Synchronicity indeed Lavie. I love it when that happens. And to the contrary Lavie your post was a beautiful response. I appreciated you sharing your own experience. I always think when someone shares their own experiences that it helps to reassure people that they are not alone and they can then learn from one another.

To be honest I felt badly myself for not remember about the musical phrases you deal with every day. As soon as you mentioned it I recalled you sharing about it before. I appreciate your post very much and for sharing more about how it effects your day to day. I thought it was the perfect response to my post. I am sorry it took me so long to reply so I could express my appreciation sooner.

Do you find it difficult to go to sleep because of the music? That is when it disturbs me the most. When it is the most noticable. Sometimes just before I nod off I will hear someone call my name and for a second or two I will think it is real.

Should you be interested in what I watched on youtube and read on their website link here are the links that talk about retraining therapy......



http://www.treatmenttinnitus.org/tin...aining-therapy

Then I watched this short video that demonstrated how environmental sounds effect people coping with tinnitus hyperacusis I could totally relate. This is the link to the reply to my youtube post. I am stololady. I thought his reply a bit lame. The pat response by someone who in my opinion doesn't really understand severe anxiety. Perhaps I am being too critical but I guess I expected a different response. No biggy.

Yipppeee Sun!!! Time to party!!! You deserve a celebration and a good dose of pampering too. I can't imagine the pressure you were under. Way to go for sticking it out. I hope you sleep soundly tonight and have beautiful dreams.



As for the tinnitus you took the words right out of my mouth.... chicken and egg thing. There is definately a link. It is not the only trigger for anxiety for me. Just yesterday I stopped by the the eye glasses store to check into what I had heard that social assistance will pay for new glasses. She confirmed it was true but I would need to pay half the cost of an eye exam. The frustration was enough to set me off and I was chocking back tears before I even made it out the door. 30 minutes later it happened again when the pharmacy told me it would be another 10 minutes before my med script would be ready. I bearly made it out the story without falling to pieces. By the time I got home I was totally spent from doing the work to recover each time. That is the anxiety that really disrupts my life. Only when I am alone am I safe from one thing or another setting me off. I do think the buzzing and occassional sharp squeals get even worse. Sometimes one ear will go deaf for a few seconds or so. It is mostly just annoying but sometimes it is difficult to cope with.

As for TV I usually tape programs I like to watch regularly (survivor, amazing race) so I can speed through the commercials. I tend to have the tv in all the time just to serve as a muffle to the noises in my head. Sometimes it is overload so I turn it off but it is on more then not.

I didn't actually sleep much at all last night. As if the magnified noises weren't enough I was incredibly itchy all over, especially my head. I ended up getting my hair brush to get some some relief. Never had that before. I think it was close to 6 before I finally nodded off for a few hours before my brother phoned and I was up for the day.

I was pretty miserable most of the day but things got better this evening. It was a beautiful day but I was stuck inside for most of it working on the wedding dress. A short walks was all I was able to enjoy. I made good progress on the dress and should have it finished by the weekend if the next fitting goes well.

I better get to bed. Another early morning tomorrow. Off to the airport in the city to pick up my son's dad. A 2 hour drive for a 9am pickup. The last hour in city rush hour. joy of joys. lol.

Happy sleeps everyone. I will catch up with you all again tomorrow.

Hello friends! I'm sorry you had a difficult day yesterday ((((((((ss))))))))) I hope it was relaxing to work on the wedding dress. I've read that working with our hands stimulates circuits in the brain that make us feel better and calmer because we were designed to use our hands (I wonder if typing counts!! ) Anyhow, I really hope you got some sleep last night and I hope today goes smoothly picking up your ex

I didn't sleep very well last night and once again I went to bed too late! Definitely feeling over-tired, but also kind of wired because my brain has been so engaged work-wise. I expect it will all balance itself out in the end. I'm still really busy because I'm now having to catch up with all the work that got pushed to the wayside while I was re-building the lost data. At least I'm gradually getting more up to date though!!

The weather is freaky here. Torrential rain and windstorms with flash floods! It's very unusual for us to get this much rain so late in the spring. I just hope the power doesn't go out again!!!

Sending love to all

Interesting you should say that about using our hands. My mood did lift while I was working on it and continued to stay up beyond that. I think it could actually be true for typing too. I do usually feel better when I am here posting. So maybe hey.

Still didn't sleep well last night but no doubt that was because I was already anxious about the drive. I had a short meditation before my first attempt around midnight but my mind was racing so I tossed and turned until I sat up and meditated again. This time it worked and I finally fell asleep. As it happened I only got about 3 hours sleep. Tonight should be better. I hope the same for you. Sleep is so essential to maintaining any sense of balance. I think I appreciate that truth even more since we starting meditating regularly.

I just got home again about 30 minutes again. It was a very stressful drive. I am so not used to driving in that much traffic. I was constanting catching myself from melting down under the pressure. So many crazy drivers out there. Lots of deep breathing and looking at the mountains ahead of me. What I would do without my mountains heaven only knows.

It is good to be home again in my little sanctuary. Just a quick regroup before I head out again for another dress fitting.

I hope your catch up work goes quickly and smoothly. I know how stressful that can be.

You mean this early in spring don't you? Our weather has been really crazy this year too. It is suppose to be cherry blossom festival time but they are just now coming into bud. A long ways off from blooming.

I hope those rains don't amount to any flooding. Our rivers are still very low since the cold weather is delaying spring runoff. It is going to be interesting when the weather starts to work up. It is warmer mid day but still getting some frost at night. I hope summer isn't as severe as winter has been. My thirsty garden will suffer if it gets too hot.

I better get off now. I want to meditate for a few minutes out in the sunshine before heading out again. My son is making dinner tonight so I am glad for that. I am starting to run out of steam.

Be well.

Hi, my friends. I'm sorry for the stress that you've both been under. I'm glad that the sewing has been soothing and that you've been able to meditate, SS. I had always been most interested in sewing with couture details and made most of my own clothes. I just lost interest as depression and attention worsened the past 2 years. I hope that it returns. Sundog, I'm so glad that you're catching up with the data at work. I hope you don't lose electricity again with the wacky weather.

The music is non-stop from the time I wake until the 2 xanax I take for sleep kicks in. At this moment, it's still Jambalaya, the Hank Williams tune, as it has been for the past 5 hours. If I think of another tune, that one will substitute, but often the first one reinserts itself. Some are stickier that way than others. I often hear the complete song, either instrumental or choral, sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes both like male on verse and female on chorus. The arrangements are occasionally interesting, and it's obviously sometimes coming straight from childhood memory, like accurately reproduced from my parents' record albums. When it's just 2 or 3 notes repeating endlessly, I really want to jump out a window. Unfortunately, I live in a ranch house . It drives me absolutely insane as it's impossible to ignore and prevents me from meditating. I developed insomnia this past year and can't sleep without taking something. The music used to fade out as I was falling asleep, in the pre-insomnia days.

I think some times that my plate was so full with problems before this music thing started, the depression/anxiety/ADD, inadequacy and intimacy issues, being single, no family, few friends, no work or money, a skin disorder and compulsive picking, etc. And then this starts. Unbelievable. Sorry for all this venting and repetitiveness. And for such a long post. I wish I could be as active at PC as others, but I'm so drained by my life, and I'm often too utterly overwhelmed to communicate. I can only manage a few threads and a few friends these days at PC. Thinking of you both with love.

Oh, despite all this, I did manage to be a bit more productive today after an EMDR session around procrastination actually did me some good.

SS, I forgot to ask: How do you manage to meditate with the tinnitus? Doesn't it get in the way?

I'm glad you're back home safely in your sanctuary ((((((ss)))))) I'm sorry the driving was so stressful

The music you have to put up with constantly in your head sounds terrible (((((lavie))))) I'm so glad you're able to get some sleep at least with the Xanax. But the intrusion and disturbance caused to you during the day is just not fair!!! Also, I think you do an amazing job of being active here.

I'm so glad you had a positive experience with the EMDR.

It's stopped raining here!!! And the sun even put in a brief appearance!!! And the extended weather forecast says "dry!" for Monday!!!! It sounds like the worst of the storms are over!!!

Our seasons are somewhat variable, but as a general rule, spring starts in late January. The weather can be really quite warm and the first wild flowers appear then. The first blossom trees come out in February. They are long since over now. But then there is a second round of blossom trees (must be a different species) which starts blooming right about now. It only rains here from around November to around April, with the heaviest rain falling earlier in the winter and the rainfall tapering off around February. So it's really unusual for us to get this much rain at the end of March!

Well, now you have a complete update of our weather patterns!!!

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening

good morning ladies. I went to bed at 9pm last night and sleep a full 10 hours. I am grateful because I have a couple of off the grid days ahead of me. We are all traveling out of town to visit my ex's sister who is not expected to be with us much longer after a long battle with cancer. We will be staying the night and coming back later tomorrow. I am trying to take it in stride but I generally don't do overnighters well.

After the fitting yesterday I spent a couple of hours in the garden which was therapeutic and much needed after the long day in the world. I helped my son with dinner and he talked me into eating together rather then my usual pattern of eating alone in my room.

Lavie I have on occassion had a song stuck in my head but nothing like you describe. I can't imagine how crazy making it must be for it to be so constant. I can relate to how the build up of stressors can begin to magnify and or bring on new symptom responses. Certainly that has been my experience too. Especially the anxiety which is the most persistant debilitator in my life. I magnifies everything else and has totally changed how I live my life. I often think that my problems pushed me over the edge because I crossed over my stress threshold and have yet to recover any capacity to cope with stress, thus the instant flare of anxiety.

I have to admit you made me laugh there with the jumping out the window but you live in a ranger. Just too funny Lavie. I live in a ranger too so it made it that much more funny to image jumping out of any of my windows.

I feel the same about my activity on PC. I will branch out now and then to offer a post to someone new but mostly it is a small handful of people I follow. I have one special friend here who I keep connected here even when I pull away from the boards entirely for a period of time. I think that is why I value this thread so much. The closeness we have created has really helped to crack through some of my walls. Only since this thread have I attached avatar images to my name and revealed when I am online.

While I can understand how the songs in your head would be a major distraction the ringing in my head is probably easier to deal with. When I am doing the breathing it is not quiet because I am listening and feeling the effects of breathing in and out. So that helps to muffle the sounds. When I am sitting 'quietly' that is without the deep breathing it can be a distraction but by then I am being drawn into to images that appear in the darkness and so it serves to mentally distract me. I diffinately always need something to distract me or the ringing will get louder. That is why sleep time is the hardest. Nothing to distract me except the ringing.

There are times when it is too much to take, when the sounds vary in tone or my ears make popping or squeel sounds out of no where. I will press so hard on my ears sometimes that I end up with a horrible headache. I sometimes scream out loud and start to cry begging for it to stop but it just gets louder when I get that upset about it. It is all a catch 22. Anxiety makes it worse and the ringing makes the anxiety worse. gessh... like you say one thing after the other.... pretty unbelievable and it is so easy to feel defeated and want to just fade out.

On the flip side like that old saying goes, 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger'. We may skirt the edge sometimes but we do keep returning to the fight for our lives and just think of the character we are building. We are mighty women warriors. For what purpose we have yet to see perhaps but I believe it is for a purpose and that is good cause to keep on keepin on no matter what gets thrown in front of us.

ps.... please don't apolize for a lengthy post or I will have to always apologize because I have yet to learn the art of being concise.

I wanted also to add that it is another likeness between you and I with your interest in sewing. In a former life I had my own fashion design studio. I did mostly high end couture designs. Custom one of a kinds, limited addition collects for high end stores. It was very successful for 10 year before the mood swings and stress caused a total breakdown. It took a few years to find my footing again and I left on my own for Europe and came back to teaching fashion design and less and less designing professionally. I just don't have the same passion anymore but I still enjoy playing around with it now and then. And mentoring other emerging designers is something I still enjoy a lot.

Thank you Sun for your ongoing support. You always cheer me up with your funny use of emoticons. I am glad the sun as broken out for you today. I know how much you love the sunshine.

I appreciate your report on weather patterns in your part of the world. To a cooler extent it is not unlike here. Just a cooler climb into summer heat. Spring like weather usually starts to appear mid February. We were teased this year with a few weeks of warm weather but over night it turned into January again. Now we are back into early February. Crazy hey.

I hope you are sleeping better and that you enjoy lots and lots of quality time with your dog kids.

I may not be online again until we get back on Saturday night. It is going to be a looonnnggg couple of days. Deep breath. I should be able to sneak away now and then so hopefully I will stay level enough to blend in and not raise anyones eyebrows.

Be well my friends.

Hello friends! I'm sooooooo glad you slept so well last night (((((((ss)))))))) I hope the trip to your ex's sister goes as well as possible

I thought you guys might appreciate this:



Wishing everyone a good day

That is so cute. Is it okay if I use it on the meditation invitation thread?

Well I ended up staying home. What was suppose to be only one night away had suddenly become two. I couldn't trust I would be able to manage that much time with people. I was disappointed at first with the change of plans but soon I was relieved. It had already been a stressful morning engaging in conversation. I snuck away a few times to get away to work in the garden and go for a short walk to keep the anxiety level to a minimum.

It has been a couple of hours since he left and I am beginning to feel less stressed so it all worked out as it was suppose to. It all good. I am heading out soon for a longer walk and maybe I will find a dry corner somewhere to meditate with my rock helpers.

I hope your day is going well.

ps... Lavie... what is EMDR?

SS, it stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Originally, it involved moving one's eyes side to side while recalling and re-integrating traumatic memories. It can be done with tapping on alternating sides of the body. My therapist uses vibrating egg-shaped devices held in each hand, they buzz alternating right and left, while I call to mind a memory or conflictual situation, e.g. avoiding a feared task. Then, I tell the therapist what came to mind while holding the alternating vibrating thingies. That is a fairly lousy description of EMDR. There's a lot of info online. The point is to re-shuffle and better integrate memories and trauma in both hemispheres of the brain. Visualizing doing a task successfully helps me at times also, so it's hard to know which technique helped. Maybe it doesn't matter.

My parents wanted me to attend Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC. My dad made girls' sportswear. My mom was an interior decorator and both parents sewed for her customers. Even my grandfather was a tailor in NYC. It's in my blood. Too bad I lacked the self-confidence and my problems got in the way even at age 16 when I graduated high school. Had I been well, I would have been a fashion designer. I attended modeling school in Manhattan, though. I'm making some purses in 3 combined tapestry fabrics, though I don't have the speed to do it for money. I'm going to sell off a lot of my fabric stash because I'll never use it.