the use of imagery in discarding old self....

I love illustrations and the ease imagery touches my heart, yet, I am trying to consider what _Sky wrote too, that I should '..Own..' my passed experiences...and this idea, it didn't settle too well with me, a lot of my passed experiences invloved my observations of cruelty and judgement, and hence, an internal reaction to them...I do admit I entered into some unhealthy relationships which eventually cause my homelessness, yet, for the most part, my experiences were that something inside me was a little 'off..' a little unprepared for realities that hit me as I grew up, and people went to town with me being a little 'off' they tormented me until I found myself writing here about it, I never once stood up to them, just got an INTERNAL reaction....I am going to try being more assertive, as nurses have to be, a better communicator, and yes, own my experiences, and own what exactly I expected the rest of the population to DO exactly with a young girl so 'odd' or 'off.' I am sure had the world been made up of people such as PC people, I would have grown up with unconditional love, yet part of owning my experiences, is owning what exactly I expect from this world, this reality, we find ourselves in. I say it right here, I OWN what happened to me, I own my incapabilites, my lack of ability to deal with reality, reality is what it is and should not be ignored.....I lived much in 'my own world..' for years, yet, time has come to take my own world and integrate it into ours, mine and yours. I prepare myself for negative judgments and comments ahead of time as I get so often yet _I_ know deep down who I am, despite what others say or may say.....this goes back to what Muffy wrote, as she sits by the clear river seeing 2 countries, for just one second, she forgets all the negativity she has heard..and becomes at peace with the river, may we all find that river within ourselves...

My use of "owning" does not imply agreeing with it...but accepting that it happened, and it happened to involve you.

I know that the life I have experienced & the way I have experienced as a path that I am walking along owns everything that occurs. If you dont learn how to survive in the wilderness, you won't survive......so everything is a learning experience, everything is something you have to look & learn from so that if it happens in the future, you will know how to not end up hurt or harmed by it.....it's called survival training......which is what our whole life is all about. If it's a mistake we made or something bad we did & it is causing us harm then we need to learn from it & make the necessary changes. If it's something that someone else we have encountered has done good or bad, we learn from it.....if it's good, we can take it in & see it as something we may want to incorporate in our path....if it's bad......we want to learn from it & definitely not incorporate it into our life, but also learn how to avoid that danger in the future.......When you live you life as a wilderness hike or path that is your pathway through life....it has to own everything as I said....survival is what it's about.

Debbie

Yes, life is wilderness and what we then do with it. Here is a picture of how I'm feeling as I write these things down that have happened to me, in the winderness of life...this young girl is hesitant about what she's caught in her insect net, in the winderness, yet whatever creature it is, it has beauty, as the wilderness does, in its own sometimes sad way..http://www.spa.usace.army.mil/opspho...eation/060.jpg

"junerain" or shall I say, FRIEND,

It sounds like you have been through a lot and that the past has caused you a lot of pain. We all have demonds in our closet, some looking uglier than others. However, it also sounds like you are doing much better at the present time and I think it's important to live for RIGHT NOW.

I have recently been going through some issues where I have been given an opportunity to have something special in my future but my past has haunted me to the point where I fear it may be holding me back so I think I understand some of what you are saying.

Art therapy?? Cool I know people with mental illness,ect who have tried music therapy and it had a positive effect. You should look into that.

Your FRIEND :::::::wink wink::::::::

Lia

http://www.arttherapy.org/

I'll be holding a few chats on guided imagery on Sunday afternoons at 3 pm. I'm not sure I can begin this next Sunday, but you all are welcomed to meet if you can and chat. I'm trying to change my IRL schedule to begin the 12th and not the 19th instead.

The chats on guided imagery will begin on the 12th of October. Anyone interested, whether already a pro, just dabbling, or who knows nothing about this, are welcome to join in!

hi June

ive enjoyed reading your thread, the part about struggling and searching within to find, creating the beauty you've always known was within you.. coming to that comfort place where the healing provides you with calm reassurance that what is happening is exactly right for you...

when we reach that place we feel the changes within ourselves.. it is a little new at first and i wondered how much i should trust it.. been there before and it didnt last.. but, as you know, this one has a different quality to it... maybe its the absence of fear.... best to you always...

In looking back at what became of my life before I recovered, I have so much hostility against me, I have decided to write a book about how society treated me.... then how I forgave society, came to that place of forgiveness I have also decided to concentrate on pyschiatric nursing, to work with mental illness from, the other side I then will write a second book, more geared toward the reader's interest, about my patients I treat, how I treat them, using confidentiality of course changing names, with flashbacks to how it used to be, for meI am going to do a lot of good for the mentally ill, and of course, coming to PC each day as a resource and breath of fresh air, that will be in my book

(((Junerain))) i am going to be absent for a bit while i handle some family concerns... one last image for you.. you ARE going to make it! You never gave up!

this is the tree of life... you can get more info here:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...icial%26sa%3DN

(hope the image is not too large!)

June, might I suggest that you write how and why you forgave society first, and then marry it to the issues later? I think if you go delving into the negative feelings with society only that it might take you for a tumble.

Society guided me when my sensitivity, dramatic sensitivity, was too exaggerated, it helped me know, like a bulletin at church informing you when it is time for communion, helped me to understand my character has good tendencies, that those tendencies, or hues, or colors, those were the ones which make up the sunset, not the bright orange of exaggeration, it was the crimson and the purple. Society has some insensitive souls in its midst, yet if you dig deep, there is always some good in even an insensitive soul, down in there, if one can find a pitchfork and a compass to help locate the good, down in the midst of the bad. I often perform sociological experiments, working hard to come up with small talk with strangers, whether it's a compliment or a joke about the situation at hand I can always make a stranger smile It is like the movie Patch Adams, Patch started in the psychiatric wing, helped people there (as I did!!) went on to medical school, believed emotional transference wasn't a bad thing ( I agree..) that there should be free medical care, and began a hospital providing competent medical care, free of charge. He began this project when not yet a doctor, and his medical school almost prevented him from graduating and becoming a doctor, because he was practicing medicine without a license. When he met with the American Medical Association, he said, yes, the people who came to his clinic were all PATIENTS. Then he proceeded to say, people who came there were also DOCTORS, we are all doctors, whether we apply a cold cloth to a fever or simply listening to someone facing a hard decision. He said they could prevent him from graduating medical school but he would not stop his efforts to better humanity, whether he was a doctor or not, and he could do more good, if the medical community was open to his way of thinking. His speech worked- he graduated medical school, expanded his hospital providing free medical care, and the movie "Patch Adams" was made, with Robin Williams in the starring role. My route has been different from Patch's- my illness more pronounced, and I have done things on a smaller scale, yet I plan to work at his hospital and include parallels in my book, although my book will be more about my story more than his. This is why I forgive society, that scattered among the insensitive are the sensitive, some of them struggling, yet some of them accomplishing great things with their sensitivity. My final image in my mind is one of a morning glory, peeping its way through the April snow, not ashamed in any way to show its colors

is it going to be in 21+ next time as well

IDK if you're referring to the Sunday afternoon chat, or another, but that one is in the Auditorium

((June))))

thanks for continuing to share with us on this thread.. you have persevered and risen above many obstacles on your way to self improvement, and in due course, the improvement of our society..

what ive noted about enlightened peple is that often they are regarded 'strangely' by those who are still struggling and by those who never needed to struggle as much.. society is not an evil, but in its confused state, it can impede the progress of struggling individuals in some ways..

sometimes we might feel that the self work we've done goes un-noticed or unappreciated.. we work so hard to make it and we want to share our joy but sometimes when we have come through a dark time, it was so personal that the friends and family nearby may not fully comprehend the feelings we have at escaping such dark days..

your will to continue is a great example for the rest of us.. i would imagine that there were many times you pushed forward when it was its least possible hope.. that is where true grit play a role in our healing.. pushing and knowing you will arrive and that it will be good when you finally do.. doing it for yourself but also understanding the importance of every individual on the journey, turning around and offering the hand to others that was so kindly offered to yourself in harder times..

good for you June for always pushing, always trying and always keeping a positive goal in focus!

BUMP! lol!

not sure this will work.

Hi Junerain ,

Very important thread you have here. Sorta lost in the shuffle of PC. Hummm,

We have some common struggles Junerain . I do believe we can discard the old self . I believe we can transform and dream and allow ourselves to change . I have heard of some poeple making vision quest boards or finding soul mates or collaging what thier dream life would be like.

I felt the inkling lately I should try some of this.

I believe in the power of visualization . Im not sure if you are a dancer if that picture of the ballerina is you . I have been silently musing to myself that Men should try to find the ballerina within ..LOL !!!

I like you am an INFJ Or INFP the one that has the mystic .

When I began my journey I found self hypnoisis tapes and used them when I was 16. I was struggling to find an answer to why I was the way I was. Got down in the basement and couldn't find anything . too dark . But that in itself tells something.

Little did I know I would end up with a licened hypnotheripist . He did put me under . Can't remember what he was telling me . All I can remember was I was seeing myself as a gymnast on the parralell bars then dancing flying other pwerful intertwining images. He must have been feeding me some good statements.

yes visualization in dream work , in drawing , in guided visualization self hypnosis . theres something about it . It informs what we cannot voice or give voice to what has not one yet.

I do encourage you to work with visuals as you write . even if they are just gesture drawings. Maybe take a class , you may already be a skilled artist.

One thing I found absolutely amazing was doing still life assignments . One was to go into the garage an put things together .

I ended up with what was just a colection of tools into a story that was quite unsettling . It has happened more than once . I was pretty excited while doing it . But when It came time to hang It I thought the class would be sacred of me.. My teacher just said I liked to push the envelope..

In class we were drawing figures from real life models. quick timmed gestural drawings. I put three of them sorta on top of each other . It ended up sorta being like the three faces of eve. It showed how women can opress one another the look on the faces was of [hatred and over powering ], [indiferance dissocitive, ] and the other mentally beaten down .[sad down trodden.]

but while I was drawing I was aware of none of that . Only untill I was done did I see it.

Could have been the parts within me . I'd have to say they are because if we are treated such by others we tend to take on the abusers persona.'s even though they are not ours .

enmeshment ....

Thats the work we need to discard Junrain . I belive we can once we see who owns what . Maybe make a new drawing new gestures of embracing .I like your giving your old elf over to an angel idea . I have found myself drawn to the angel imagery I see here . I'm drawn to it all because its all encompassing.

I like the ideas about the Morning glory. The name of my Buisness is Morning Glory Landscapes. It spoke to me because I was in morning over the death of my father and the loss of my gradschool due to conflict with a couple of women who thought I was to to to ... to guite to with drawn to independant to contimplative . the mouring Glories much to my dismay aslo represent ipicac . Forgot my herbal notes when I drew the card. felt a bit exposed...LOL!

I had the Morning glories creeping up a wall by a door that opened to a sunrise. They were talking to each other whispering pretty stories we longed to hear once more. The sunrise ended up with a pahlic like ray and the mountain range looked like hind ends .. oh me...

see cant hide.. dont know about the drawing .. it speacks truth.

yonder waits .. okay LOL!

just one thing about the Morning glory peeping out of the snow in april.

they take their darned ole time in blooming . Not untill mid summer do they do thier stuff so ..

Roses in April snow . Pansies , daffodils tulips hyacynths.. also ..
snow drops are starting soon.

Patricia

I haven't finished reading all the posts but this one hit home and hit me and i just had to react.....for a second i felt this crashing...then realized I have either internalized my pain into a center so deep I can't confront it or I acknowledge it and I've grown to live with tears and pain , even the consequences of mine and others faults or misdeeds towards me. Punish....i dunno....i generally believe we do good and concentrate on that and let those who were and are against us go on with those morose feelings that batter our sensitive beings and be that way for it only hurts them....its odd in a way....58 jobs and firings...sometimes thats how I've felt about love, and you know it is inside of you, it doesn't leave and all you can do is accept and love....cause sometimes "this life isn't livin' baby and livin' ain't free"......."all my friends are strangers"........many roads many paths each choice we choose to make , makes for a new life. Every time you reacted to help and chose to be helped a new you was formed......perhaps that is life...an infinitely decadent web of anything we so choose to do or strive for, if it is endlessly possible then it is possible to be free, healed and know how truly unique and beautiful and warming the soul of YOUR being is to all those who can see and hear you...they say a picture is worth a thousand words....but your words are worth a life time of pictures." Love, love is all you need."

That sounds absolutely illuminating in all honesty. And from reading previous posts the searching may never end, but there is peace between the meadows along side the rivers cool and still with the soft grass beneath our delicate feet........the grace and light that shines from you is immense, dream and dream and keep them close to your heart, your soul, and all the awareness you've gained so far on this journey.

I was watching that movie recently....very touching.....do what you do.....and be the best, follow your voice and just be you, case thats smoother than silk especially once you've found that centering because no longer are you the stranger inside....you are connecting, connections...that is the key....oh and I do that too with sociological experiments but I don't know I'm doing them, I'll talk to anybody strangers of just regulars I see on day to day basses, I smile and do kind things.........I sent a gift/care package too the mental unit I was in I spent about 80 dollars on liquid soups bar soups flip flops and lotions for the women.....and didn't leave my name......i just had to do something for those who go there with nothing.....walking around in those dang "sticky socks".....which I always flipped upside down then I wore them......and before that I sent flowers for the nurses........So I relate to this..........and your book idea........the two sides........that's kinda what I addressed in my flowers and my care package. But of course your books will be so brilliantly cohesive of the actual experiences......Now being out......and running around about I would truly love for there to be lessons or books on how to be kind, or even more considerate towards the mentally ill.....young or old...........sometimes we are such children........other times...hearts of lions........your heart however...could tame the wildest of lions.....in another world.....the lone young female warrior sets out to kill a lion only given a spear.....upon the plains of Africa.....but....as you stare and encounter your right of passage......another path appears.....not upon the ground , but in your mind.........the lion eagerly awaits to kill......to do as lions do......and you approach......unarmed..........and the lion......still with claws fangs, and the power......waits......upon your walking the wind kicks up.........dust into the lions eyes........and you walked with yours close........no fear now........as you approach........and there...........a center being.........caressing the main........he knows now.........rights of passage can be as gentle as the warm summer rain....and curled up together to watch the sun set away.....so far away to the land....where love,tenderness,and the simplicity of all emotion is pure and just melts away all the walls that separate all true connections..........summer rain........oh yes.....it is beauty as are you.....stay an illuminating light and you will always find truth.

Hi Junerain,

As I said I would. For you.



I'm not a carpenter , pay no mind to the hinges... or the seams in the stone wall ..

LOL!