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#1
Mar 04, 2010, 09:34 AM
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Okay so i lost control of myself the past two days. I went from not cutting in over a week to Cutting myself 37 times in two days. I hated myself to i tried to cut myself into pieces. or at least the parts of me i hated i tried to cut away and its so rediculous. I just looked into the mirror and saw what i hated and tried to remove it and it did not go well and now it looks worse than ever.
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------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#2
Mar 04, 2010, 10:47 AM
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That made me cry
this is why I worry about you |
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#3
Mar 04, 2010, 11:22 AM
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I hate to hear about others who are struggling, somehow it seems OK for me to do this but it isn't.
Guess I'm trying to say I hope we both find a way stop. |
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#4
Mar 04, 2010, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
allie why did you cry?
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#5
Mar 04, 2010, 01:44 PM
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EIN, this is not good. I can't remember if you are in therapy. This self hate would be a really good thing to work on in therapy. Do you understand where it comes from?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Mar 04, 2010, 01:47 PM
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well to be perfectly honenst it came from me hating the way i look... i mean its narsacistic for a guy but i hated that part of me alot... and i hated myself for not telling my dad the truth about seeing him in the emergency room. it was something that the family wants to hide but i felt it needed out but just couldnt tell him and i hated myself that i couldnt hurt him
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------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#7
Mar 04, 2010, 02:48 PM
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because you cant do this jon.
its not ohkay i know why you did i understand how you feel but its not ohkkay. me and beth are so worried about you. you never talk to either of us anymore
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THeyCallMeAllieAutopsy(:
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#8
Mar 04, 2010, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
you two should not worry about me..im just a dumb kid in way over my head who makes the wrong decisions constantly. im not sure about myself but i will talk more
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#9
Mar 04, 2010, 07:26 PM
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So now what, enditnow92? I expect it is hard to hide 37 cuts. Have your parents or teachers noticed? Is there no one you can talk to about getting help?
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 lovefew-fearnone
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#10
Mar 04, 2010, 08:01 PM
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Quote:
its actually really easy to hide them when i cut my stomach. and with my athletic build its really easy to keep covered up. they just hurt really bad but it was my stupid mistake and noone elses.
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#11
Mar 04, 2010, 10:04 PM
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You're not a dumb kid, we worry about you because we care.
You have to tell someone Jon, otherwise it will worse. |
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#12
Mar 05, 2010, 01:18 PM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#13
Mar 05, 2010, 01:49 PM
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well when it gets worse i will worry. i feel i am losing it again but right now im at school and its safe for me since people are around. but im worried that when i get home nothing will go right and i will relapse on myself and im just not sure what i will hate enough to try to cut off this time... probably my face... im really scared since everything is all my fault... im just a kid it should not be this hard on me and i should have to deal with all this
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#14
Mar 05, 2010, 02:40 PM
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EIN, who can you talk to in real life about this? You really need to be working with a professional. You are just a kid and you shouldn't have to deal with this all by yourself. How do your parents fit into all of this? Why is everything your fault?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#15
Mar 06, 2010, 12:03 PM
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Jon, how are you doing?
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#16
Mar 06, 2010, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
__________________
THeyCallMeAllieAutopsy(:
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#17
Mar 08, 2010, 11:05 AM
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well it has been one of the most interesting weekends of my life. i dont know if it was good or bad. someone stopped tallking to me and then we started talking again last night. i got yelled at by my family. it has been good but bad
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#18
Mar 08, 2010, 02:00 PM
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I'm glad you had something good happen. What is your family yelling about?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#19
Mar 08, 2010, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#20
Mar 08, 2010, 03:27 PM
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What were they yelling at you about though? (and you don't have to share if you don't want to).
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#21
Mar 08, 2010, 10:52 PM
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they were yelling at me because my sister was sying i did things i didnt do
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#22
Mar 09, 2010, 08:34 AM
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Is she younger than you? Does she try to get you in trouble a lot?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#23
Mar 09, 2010, 03:07 PM
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yes and yes and now yesterday when i finally got her to calm down i was with this girl i really like and we were talking and playing around and then around midnight she told me i was not allowed to talk to her ever again and that we could not even be friends anymore and to leave her alone forever. it made me flip and lose it. i am not made for losing people i care about.
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#24
Mar 10, 2010, 09:35 AM
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Oh, that is terrible! Why would she do such a thing?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#25
Mar 10, 2010, 01:38 PM
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Quote:
i really dont know
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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