Realization...

After my last 'episode', I realized something...

This is no way to live. Intentionally inflicting harm on your own body as a means of coping? Cutting into your skin to see the blood, the feel the pain, as a way to feel better? How very ironic. And now, I say to myself, 'no more'. But I can't trust myself enough to actually do 'no more'. Today, tomorrow, the next day...I may feel totally fine and swear that I will NEVER cut again. But then one day something will happen, my whole mind set will change, and I'll rationalize doing it just one more time. I hate that I can't trust myself to really stick to something and keep a promise to myself...

All I know is I'm tired of doing this to myself. Being a 'cutter', and carrying around the guilt and shame that comes with it. From here on out, I'm officially quitting. But with that, I might also ask some of you for some help, which is extremely beyond hard for me...please don't think I'm just trying to gain attention toward myself because I'm not. I'm just tired of living with this twisted coping mechanism.

Thanks for taking the time...here it goes.

((((Yes))))
im so happy that you are quitting cutting. I want you to know that you can come to me for help whenever you need it.I know how hard it is to quit,ive tried and i still havent, so i hope that i can be there for you.Pm me anytime. goodluck and take care.

max

Well done...

i am too. we can support each other!

I hope you can do this... sending you support... please come here and post when you feel the need... but you do need to find a good way to cope to replace this, you know? TC

Yea, I know I need to replace it, that's why I said I might come here sometimes for support. I normally never ask for it, but I think I'm willing to now so I can stop. Or, you know, willing enough to ask you guys for help vs. someone real. Not that you aren't real, but you know...physically here with me in the present. Anyway...thanks for everyones support!