Self Injurious ways....

Post deleted by JustBen

That's really good for you. I'm trying to quit, but right now it doesn't seem that possible. Meh, I'll do it anyway.

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Its kind of funny in a weird way that every therapist I have ever seen asks "do you self injure?". No thats not the funny part for there is nothing funny about self injury. I the funny part is that when they ask this they are talking about cutting. There are so many other ways a person can self injure but cutting is the one the psych world focuses on when asking about self injuious behavior. So I thought I would post some of mine so that those who do these things too will not feel like they are crazy and alone ---
1. Cutting
2. walking until the muscles hurt for hours
3. Biting my arms
4. hitting, punching myself (with or without objects)
5. punching the floor or wall so that my hand hurts
6. eating something that I know my stomach can't
handle just so that I can feel the pain
7. Burning myself on purpose (matches, candles
cooking)
8. head banging
9. bathing or showering in water that is too hot.
10. social situations that lead to the other person
inflicting pain of some kind

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I, for one am very glad this was 'bumped' back up and thank those who pointed me to this thread =)

I do alot of these on the list...plus a few others. I was feeling very 'strange/abnormal' because I didn't cut. Thank you SO much for posting this.
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Well, I have not cut for a long time and many things on this list ring true for me. Next discussion with T I guess. How do we really learn to take care of our bodies and souls?

Not to be a downer to anyone that has had sucess with not cutting for a while, because it IS an accomplishment. I was a self injurer for about 10 years and then in a relationship I was in I had support and understanding from my partner and seemed to not feel the need anymore. I stopped for about three years. Then suddenly life got a little difficult and I started back up. In those three years, I didn't have anything that overwhelmed me until then... I hadnt learned the skills that I needed to cope with truly difficult things.. probably because the underlying issues were not addressed with the way that I stopped. The point is.. that its important that if someone is going to stop.. I mean REALLY stop self injuring... we have to learn the necessary coping skills so that it no longer is an option to us. You can't take away a persons only or main form of coping however unhealthy... without first giving them the tools to be safe.

You're welcome Beautiful pain

welcome to this thread to all new people or those that missed it the first time around.

lothose I know you are not trying to be a downer. and yes the best ways to stop is with learning new coping tools. For me it doesn't matter if I am in a relationship of that kind. The urge to release is still there. The problem with my obtaining help with this and learn new coping tools is that I have had bad experiences with therapists in that the minute they hear I cut and so on its off to the mental health units for two weeks of being locked on the units like a prisoner of some major crime, medication shuffling, cameras and staff watching every move right down to bathing and bathroom detail. so instead I come to places like psych central where everyone helps each other both during that stressful moment of wanting to, right down to giving each other ideas of other things to do to stop ourselves. As far as I know no one here is trying to take away anyones self injurious ways they use. I have read posts where people ask that they not cut and write on the boards or pm or chat. They aren't trying to take the cutting away they are giving the person a way to hold on just a bit longer and maybe by writing, pming or chat the feeling won't be so strong.

I am glad you had the help of your partner. that is a rare thing in my life.

we have alot of new people coming on and so I thought I would pop this back up to the top for them, everyone else here and myself. Take care all and hang in there.

I noticed I've started scratching myself a lot and pinching myself. But my little cousin does the pinching thing and she's only just four. She does it for reassurance I think but it kinda freaks me. Ty for the bump.

you're welcome. I used to scratch and pinch myself then I discovered cutting, and so on.

<font color="purple">For a long time I was in the mind that set that "cutting" or "burning" were the only ways S/I was in my life, but some time ago I did some research after I had herad the term and was diagnosised as a S/I, that I realized I indeed did many other things to purposely cause self pain. With that info, I also became aware that I started S/I at a very young age. Many of the things that were listed here in this thread are things I have done or currently do to inflcit self pain. There are also other ways that I S/I that I have not heard anyone else mention yet, so I will refrain from adding that...... It is a touchy subject, to know what is ok to post or not, regarding this topic.... Don't want to give anyone any ideas..... Just for the record, I do not believe any of the responses/posts here did that... I would not have learned things about myself had some things not been listed during my research yrs ago... Thank you for bumping this subject .....
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Yes melinda I have done things that are not listed here. I didn't post them because its not allowed here or fear of giving people ideas. And I am sure there are probably others that didn't tell all or are not posting at all on this thread. But its not because its not allowed here.

See sometimes people don't post things because they feel they are the only one that do those things or because they fear what everyone is going to say once it is disclosed.

I know and Im sure others here know posting does not mead go out and do it kind of thing.

Are the things you read about simular to inserting objects for relief or self mutilating private parts because the person finds them offensive?

if so, you are not alone I do have friends that do those kinds of things and yes it is called self injurious behavior another term for this thread is called self mutilation.

ALL self injurious behavior is acceptable on this thread.

What isn't is the person posting while in the act and disclosing they are in the act because that leaves everyone feeling frustrated and helpless because being on line we cant help or stop the person from intentionally or accidentally dieing. We can listen and post comments but when a person is ingaging at that moment of posting they need the help of their therapist/police/ambulance/mental health units. No one here practices therapy from a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist point of view.

Hang in there ok. It does get better.

There are lots of new people and others may want to revisit this thread if they missed it before or just want to reread and see where they are about it today vs when this thread went around last.

Take care all

Bumping up

I'm just now allowing myself to call myself a 'self-injurer' (SP). For years, my anger triggers me to hit myself in the head or bang my head against a wall. The worst I've ever done is try to choke myself with a belt. Gosh, I feel shame for even typing that out and I hope it's ok to do so. ?? Anyway, I think I've finally done some real damage because I get have really bad dizzy spells as the frequency of my head banging or hitting myself in the head has been on the increase. (Meds have been helping and I have done it in about 5 days) Weird though, when I mention this behavior to the T, she didn't act as if it was a big deal and to me it was the hardest thing to say aloud to another human that hasn't actually seen me do it.

I feel ashamed.

Therapists are trained to think and talk but not react when they hear about self injury behaviors. They do this because sometimes reacting good to it could send some into continueing that activity beyond doing it for a release but switch to doing it for the attention of the therapist. and if they react the other way it could send the person into doing it more because they feel bad about letting their therapist down, disappointing them or that the therapist thinks they are bad people because they engage in self injury stuff. Either way the theapy field was looking at potential for more harm then good. So now they deal with it matter of fact, not unusual and they deal with it every day at the least once a day which they probably do considering alot of therapists cary between 40 to 80 client case loads. Instead of focusing on the behavior itself therapists are supposed to focus on the reason behind the behavoir - the anger, the need for release, guilt and whatever else that might be there. Hang in there its not that therapists don't think its a big deal, its just the protocal they have to use either because of county, state and or nation wide mental health guidelines.

One thing you might want to know about in case you are like me in that hospitals are not for you - if you have a fresh cut within 24 hours of seeing your therapist and your therapist sees it it is considered grounds for involluntary commitment to a mental health ward or facility (other wise known as nut wards). whether or not your therapist will have to follow that protocal depends on your locations menntal health laws and guidelines. most here in the usa have no choice but to follow that and refer their clients that are actively a danger to themself and or others to the local ER. If they didn't its a potental loss of agency/building permits and therapy certification and or licensess The reason for this is because here in the USA being a danger to yourself and or others is a crime and mental health agencys can't have crimes being committed on the premises kind of thing, let alone law suits and so on should the persons self injury behavior result in the persons death and the therapist knew they were a danger to them self and or other and did not refer that person for possible involluntary commitment.

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One thing you might want to know about in case you are like me in that hospitals are not for you - if you have a fresh cut within 24 hours of seeing your therapist and your therapist sees it it is considered grounds for involluntary commitment to a mental health ward or facility (other wise known as nut wards). whether or not your therapist will have to follow that protocal depends on your locations menntal health laws and guidelines. most here in the usa have no choice but to follow that and refer their clients that are actively a danger to themself and or others to the local ER. If they didn't its a potental loss of agency/building permits and therapy certification and or licensess The reason for this is because here in the USA being a danger to yourself and or others is a crime and mental health agencys can't have crimes being committed on the premises kind of thing, let alone law suits and so on should the persons self injury behavior result in the persons death and the therapist knew they were a danger to them self and or other and did not refer that person for possible involluntary commitment.

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I hope that everyone will talk to their own therapists about policies and procedures and how they handle this. There is so much more to it, and in my experience and training and readings, I have never been told of any cut and dry rule like this. Therapists are allowed to and expected to use their own judgement and do what they believe is in the patient's best interest. There is no rule that says you will be hospitalized if the therapist sees evidence of self-harm during a certain time-period (unless the particular agency you go to has such a rule).

I have shown fresh cuts to therapists and they might ask what was going on behind doing that, or just say "well, that doesn't look so bad." They have never even suggested hospitalizing me.

In my training we have covered self-injury a few times as it comes up, and we were taught to assess the danger - how badly the client is likely to hurt themselves. There is nothing automatic about it. Hospitalizing people who don't need it does more harm than good, and we recognize that. One of my instructors told us about a client who cut during a session. We discussed how to handle that, and nobody even suggested hospitalizing the client. It wasn't warranted and would have damaged the relationship irreparably.

It concerns me when I see advice that people be less than open with their therapists. It is hard enough to be honest about scary things like SI (whether that means self injury or suicidal ideation - this applies to both), without fear of a rule that the therapist will have to enforce. Therapists are there for you, to help you, and to do what is best for you, and while they do have a responsibility to protect you and others, they are able to use their own judgement in determining what danger is present and how to keep you safe.

I needed to clarify that because we need to be open and honest with our therapists. That is the only way they can help us.

Rap

I have lived in 15 different states and in all those states it was a legal law with the police that it is illegal for a person to be a danger to themself and or others.

Those that are suicidal, homicidal or have intent to harm themself are arrested, transported to the local ER for psychological evaluation for possible involuntary commitment.

In each of those 15 states I was police escourted to a local ER and was involuntarily committed and informed that it was a nation wide crime to be a danger to oneself and or others.

Just 5 years ago I was sitting in a court room listening to my fate being dicussed by lawyers, judges and mental health consultants as to whether or not to commit me because I had intentionally stabbed myself in the leg with a pencil and intentionally took a knife and cut my finger, and intentionally burned my fingers to various degrees.

That judge once again told me that in The USA it is a crime to be a danger to oneself and others and self injury does fall into that catagory which was why they were discussing my options in court.

Here they don't mess around therapists are required by law and mental health guidelines to refer anyone with fresh cuts within a 24 hour time period of seeing their therapist.

Each therapy agency has protocals on how to handle self injurer and suicidals depending on the severity and if the therapist feels that person is still in "active" stage. meaning the therapist knows that the client is going to act on those thoughts.

Sometimes the protocals are that the client must sign a contract. This is done for two reasons - so that the agency has something in writing that will give grounds to commitment in the future should the client beak that contract. Contracts are legal and binding be it verbal or written. By having the person sign a contract a therapist can should the person accidentally do serious harm resulting in the agency being sued and so on the therapist and agency are covered in court because they held up their end and did something about it - had the person sign a contract and informed the client of the ramifications should they break that contract. The second reason some therapist agencies have "contracts" first is because sometimes that is all the client needs to at least get them to try to fight the urges.

LL asked me to sign a contract that I would not kill myself or harm myself. I told her no. I know that I am not ever going to actively try to kill myself again and I know that I am a self injurer and a piece of paper is not going to stop me form doing so, only I can control whether I cut or not. I also told her that yea I know the agency protocal and the state and nationwide laws about these two issues becaus eI have experienced the legal end of it more times then not which is why I do not show my therapists any cuts that have been done within the nation wide legal 24 hour time period. Contacting your local and or state police department will give you the information about this law.

To fulfill her agency requirement I signed a contract stating that I would not harm her or myself during therapy sessions. That way she has nothing in writing stating I will not cut outside of my therapy sessions so if say I cut today and she sees the cut friday she has nothing to fulfill the legal grounds for involluntary commitment.

Contacting your state board of certified and or licensed clinical social workers and or your state board of physicians will give you the information about how and what types of protocals your states mental health and medical health fields set up around this nationwide law.

Talking with your therapist will give you the information of the protocals that your specific therapy agency and therapist must do about suicidal and self injury behavior.

You know, I almost forgot, (how could I ever forget???), but I did end up in jail once for self-injury. It was more extreme though, and I wasn't even in therapy. Neighbors saw me and thought my husband had beaten me up, so they called the police. I had done it though, and told the police that. They didn't arrest me, but took me in under protective custody because I was a danger to self. I was suicidal that time. They called in a therapist I didn't know to evaluate me, and I wanted out, so I did admit to suicidal thoughts but didn't give any methods that were plausible (I said I was thinking about overdosing on chocolate - I had already tried that the day before). They let me go after the evaluation, no strings attached. Just told my husband that I was depressed. I decided to get back into therapy after that, over my husband's concerns - he said that he didn't think that insurance would cover it.

I think this is a sore point for me because your experience and my experience are so different. I feel invalidated every time somone says don't tell your therapist about something because they have to take such and such an action, because even when I acted out in the extreme, nobody was concerned enough to make sure that I stayed safe, and every other time it was just no big deal.

You probably feel invalidated too because your experience has been different. I guess my point is that whatever our experience is, it won't be the same for anyone else. I can really only speak for myself (meaning me, not Myself ). But I really do hope that people will let their therapists know what is going on because being open and honest is an important part of therapy and they can only help you if you tell them.

Rap

(((((((((((Rap))))))))))
So sorry you were backed in a corner like that and had to keep some things to yourself for your freedom.

and no I don't feel invalidated when you speak up like this.

I know that everyone has had their own experiences and is posting from that frame of mind.

Those that have had bad experiences are going tosay no dont say any thing

Those that had good experiences are going to say tell.

Me - let the person know there are such laws, rules and protocals and leave it up to them to decide for themselves if they want to discuss the issues they have around such things with their professional and resourses in their local areas.

Kind of like my DID stuff I let people know my experiences with having DID, my therapy process I am going through for DID, and also my research for this disorder and resourses.

Then leave the rest up to them to do what is best for them be it agree or disagree, use my resourses or not use my resourses, do their own research or not do their own research, talk to their therapists about the information or don't talk to their therapists about the information.

No matter what the topic is I put my experiences and what I know about that topic out there and what the readers get out of it is up to them, and I know that when I encounter those that have a different view from me - well I cant control other people but I can control me -

Taking a topic from another thread (Heart vs logic themed thread)-

I can react from the heart and go off at people who don't agree with me and be highly offended that they dont agree with me

or I can stick with logic and say real life is not Ideal and so on line is not going to be ideal utopia of everyone agreeing. Everyone has their own experiences and are posting from their own points of experiences and just ignore what does not fit for me and use what does fit for me and could help me.

In Utopia the world would not have these laws about self injury and suicidal behavior - it would not be needed - no one would be abused or unhappy and whatever other reasons that they self injure.

But here in the USA its not Utopia and the people enact laws, rules and protocals that at least trys to do what is best for everyone. The rules, laws and so on don't always work for everyone the same way but whenever possible therapists do find ways to work around those rules and laws

For example my therapy agency now has a protocal where one of the forms that are filled out by all their clients is a Declairation for Mental Health Treatment. Those clients that do not want one on file must sign a wiever stating they have been informed of what the form is and they do not want one on file.

I did sign this "contrat" of Declairation for Mental Health treatment and I carry a copy on me at all times, besides my therapy agency my family physician has a copy, as does my best friend who I have designated as my representative.

Within the form I wrote that I refuse any involluntary commitments if there are other options available.

This means that if I end up transported by the police to the local ER, the ER must contact my representative to inform that person that the ER psychiatrists want me involuntarily committed. They cannot admit me on the mental unit UNTIL after hearing from my representative if they deam I am too unstable to make this decision. My friend has to contact the ER and be informed of the situation by my treatment team and decide based on what I would do and a conversation with my therapist she would decide what my treatment should be. My friend has told me that if at all possible even if it meant that I stay with her instead of in my own home she will do what ever possible to keep me from being involuntarily committed. My therapist has told me since she knows my point of view and that I had been raped on a mental health unit and the fact that I am open to doing other options she would not be the one to hospitalixze me. That is not saying the agency supervisor won't step in and do so if I refuse any other options in the event that I am suicidal or harming myself. but because I now have a Declaration for mental health treatment on file who ever in the agency feels I should be hospitalized must first contact my representative.

No matter what the situation be it hospital personnel or my therapy agency if the professionals do not agree with my representative in the event that I am unable to make my own decision they must go to court and prove how and why mine and my representatives decision is detramental to my treatment.

Sometimes beurocrocy and red tape of paperwork actually works in favor of the self injurer. LOL

bumping up. hang in there all.

bumping up for a friend and of course for everyone here.

Hang in there.