Please help

I am feeling so overwhelmed right now. The problem is that I can't tell anyone including my therapist and doctor. Everone thinks that I am doing so well but I am not. I just had a baby recently and I am afraid that if I tell my therapist or doctor that they will take her away from me. I can't live without my daughter. I love her too much. I just started working at a job 40 plus hours a week because my husband cant work. I am on disability because of my problems. I can't do this job, but if I quit we will lose our house. The morgage company gave us this one last chance. It will be my fault if I can't do this. I am also trying to care for my husband who is very ill. He was life flighted to a better hospital for treatment not so long ago. Is illness is not terminal, but it is not curable. It can be at times very dabilitating. Because of all of this, I am considering self injury again. I have not done this in two years!!!!!!!! I will feel like a huge failor if I start up again. But if I can't get this stuff out of me I am not going to be able to do it.

WOW you have so much on your plate! ((((safe hug)))))

Ok now b r e a t h e... you have done well by handling your frustrations and disappointments over the last 2 years without harming yourself this way. You don't need to revert back to that way of coping, right?

With all the circumstances happening, I'm concerned with why you think it will be YOUR fault if anything else happens. You are already putting your health and your income on the line by also working. Why can't you see that the circumstances of your spouse's illness and loss of income have contributed to this now?

IDK the whole situation with the mortgage company. I do have to doubt that you have used all the resources available to you to keep the house. (go to www.suzeorman.com for free advice.. search for it) Have you called a different financial institution to find out other recourses of action? Often they are very creative with financing. You are not alone in this, many in the country are having similar difficulties. The banks can't take all the houses back, as they don't have ppl to buy them all. They would much rather help you keep it and pay them

Even with that, if you are so maxed and have no one to help you figure this out, losing your house is NOT the end of the world. It does change your life, but it won't end it.

You must share your depression with your MD. What you are going through can also be post partum depression, and that won't get better by itself. (It's caused by the hormonal upheaval from having that precious child )

BREATHE. Keep posting if it helps you focus on alternatives to harming yourself. You can do this, I see how strong you are through your writing.

Thank you so much for replying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just need someone to talk to and I am to afraid to tell anyone. It helps so much knowing that there are supportive people here I can turn to. I think its my fault with the money stuff because everytime that I mention to my husband that I don't think I can do this he make the comment "you know that you working is the only way we are going to keep the house." I actually want to move and rent. We would qualify for metro housing where they pay part of the rent and also utilities. He refuses. He is afraid that we will have to live in a bad area and that he will never be able to buy a house again. I am thinking about signing up for metro and getting on the waiting list and looking for an apartment. If I find one in a good area that takes metro maybe I can show him that it will be OK.

I'm sorry you had to go thru all this, but hang in there. I know it it all too overwhelming, but that is how we can make ourselfs stronger.
I have a daughter too and she is my life supprt most of the time; think of her, look at her and everything will be easier.
~~~~tons of hugs your way~~~~

twirls.. i understand yoru husbands concerns. but Im sure if he had to choose between you going through a mental breakdown and living in metro housing and you feeling at peace, he would pick peace.. Think of it like that. Sometimes things aren't our first choice in life, but they may be the best choice we have considering the alternatives. hugssss feel free to pm anytime.

No, I still don't see "fault" or "blame." It takes more than one item to create the situation you are in...and things happen.

Remember, nothing is forever. This includes living places you don't wish to live. Or living or working where it isn't what you desire. Sometimes we have to work around issues, rather than go in a straight line.

I would hope the two of you can find whatever is necessary for the best right now. Then you can work on changing it again in the future. Living with stress and worry makes everything feel impossible, imo.

Hello I hope things are getting better for you. I would highly suggest going to a therapist about your feelings, (you do not have to tell them about the cutting) but you should get something for the depression and anxety that you are feeling, you could be having Post Partum depression from having the baby, and the other overwhelming issues you ae going through at this time. the best rule is to get help before you need help to a degree that is is disrupting your life in a debilitating manner. I think you will see that your therapist will help you in this matter in a caring and professional manner to help keep the relationship for you and your family safe. I hope the best for you at this time. Take care Soidhonia

What a brave dedicated parent and wife! You should always think before having a child, can you take care of them, will it be too overwhelming, think before you act. But you sound very dedicated and not just having kids to have them and then not give them good homes and cause bigger problems. I wish you luck on your job and remember that when you can't tell your doctors or therapists or husbands or wives or family members, there is always PC!

Give your self much credit for making it this far!!!!!!!!!!

((((((((((( twirls )))))))))))