SI Daily Check In

Blue_Bird,
So good to hear from U. Sorry your having a hard time. Pls remind me,what type of mental health support do U have(pdoc,T,friends,family)??

Hey aern01, I have family, a pdoc , and a T

Hi Blue_Bird,
Since U have a T,have U considered calling & talking to that person about the distress your in? It has been a very difficult week for me as well. I see my T for
the 3rd time this week. U know your really having a bad week when U talk to
your T on Wed.(I sent him an e-mail & rather than respond to it in writing,which
is what I expected,but he called instead),see him for my regular visit yesterday,
& he said at the end of our session "Do you want to come in for a third visit this
week"? I see him later today.
I'm trying to hang in there so U do too,okay??

That's great that you get to see your t more when you really need to. It's the same with my t, I can make an earlier appointment if I need to, I'm trying to make it through by myself for right now. I might end up needing to see my t or calling the crisis line soon though.

Blue_Bird,
Pls keep in touch!!!

need i post to this thread, really.

same amount of cutting, really

Same stuff, different day, same urges. Just tired of trying and fighting.

Urges are higher...current T in IOP think it's related to loneliness but I would add self- disgust in there too. Don't have any good tools, so urges are easier to handle, but it still sucks.

My mind is constantly looking for things to SI with. I'm not at home but I found my self looking through the drawers in the room I'm using hoping to find something. The urges are getting stronger and it probably has something to do with the fact that I know I can't at the moment.

I do this too. My mind constantly looks for things that could be weapons. It's difficult. I'm sorry you're struggling.

Got triggered by this celeb interview about addiction that I watched yesterday, and I don't even know why because it was a very subtle interview.

Still lots of thoughts about how I should have cut more when I still "could". I hate those so much. So so much.

On the upside, close to achieving my New Yr Resolution of no SI in 2013.

- AJ

My urges have really gone down since I've been in DBT treatment...still strong everyday, but for less time. Still struggling though.

I have those thoughts sometimes too! It is hard, but congratulations, you are doing great!

Struggling not to si but its really hard tonight

My mood is horribly low yet strangely no urges

With the exception of picking scabs from the cuts, i've done well for the last two or three days. Last night, in my drunken state of lowered inhibition, I told my best friend that I had started cutting again (the last time she knows of was the first time I did, ~6 years ago). She vowed not to get mad before I told her so she didn't say anything at all and later said she was going to try to forget about it. Likely we won't talk about it anymore, but I'm glad that I told her because I don't like keeping secrets from her.

I haven't SI'ed since Monday, other than picking at the old cuts. I'm too sick to even have the urge right now, so I guess that's a good thing. Tomorrow is going to be rough though.

1 burn on my leg last week. not that bad.

i have some new scars now... even some on my other leg (the one i've not cut before). the way i'm doing it is crazy!

now 2 legs and 2 arms/ wrists are in play (if you can call it that)

Fighting the urges today... Picking at old scabs to try to deal with all these emotions and stress.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I had a chance to SI yesterday, and I didn't

Definitely did some self destructive things yesterday, but no si!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have been hitting myself in the head a lot lately. Drumsticks,baseball bats,countertop or against the wall. Recently started therapy and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Therapy has brought up so many emotions and things I had buried deep down for many years. I just want the pain to stop. I have told my therapist and she wants me to start DBT.

Stressed to hell and back today.. some impulse thoughts.. none active. It has been 2 wks. I am proud of myself. Came close.

It'd been 5 years since I last cut, well I messed that up.
I'd hurt myself in other less severe ways more often but I'd managed to not cut for so long...