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  #1  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 04:48 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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I need someone who understands me and what I'm doing. So, anyone who wants to help me can send a message...
And if there is someone from Finland here, let me know!


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  #2  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 12:53 PM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Snowflake,

Tell us a little more about yourself. I need new friends! If you read through some of the messages here you can get to know us that way, and you will see that there probably isn't much that we can't understand here.

Welcome! What can we do to help you?

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #3  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 12:59 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Welcome to the board, Snowflake. I need new friends! Perhaps if you told us what you are trying to do, we could offer some of that understanding you are needing.

As for friends, you've just found a whole bunch of 'em here. I need new friends!



This above all: To thine own self be true. -- Shakespeare
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #4  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 01:18 PM
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PlanningtoLive PlanningtoLive is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,511
Welcome Snowflake - what a pretty sn.......

I'm assuming that you need some support for self injury, since you posted here?

If I'm incorrect, I apologize. Just let us know what is wrong and we can try to help you. We are a very supportive family here.

Mary Alice

I need new friends!
  #5  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 01:55 PM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
Well, at first you have to excuse me if something I write is wrong. Usually I don't speak English.
I'm a young girl. I've felt really bad for 2 ½ year now. Before Christmas I went to a psychologist and I'll go there soon again.
Two years ago I started to feel alone and that no one cared about me. I tried to take my life once..
Last year it was better, but now again I feel really bad. No one cares if I'm here or not.
1 ½ week ago I cut myself for the first time. Now I can't stop. The first time I thought that if someone sees what I've done, they'll start to care about me. Now I cut myself when I'm angry with someone, when I feel alone...
I've told what I've done to two persons and I'll tell it to the psychologist too...
I don't know how it will be at school. I can't concetrate. Everything I think about is to don't let my wounds disappear.

You are really nice.. everyone of you! And I hope I'll make this with the help from you, from my psychologist and from the one true friend I have.
In one way I want to stop hurting myself, but in another I don't want to stop. Does anyone else feel like this?

  #6  
Old Jan 05, 2004, 02:11 PM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Snowflake,

Your English is very good. I have a friend who is from Finland, and she says that English is stressed in the shools there pretty heavily.

I am glad to hear that you are going to a psychologist and that you will tell him or her about the cutting too. Once you start, it is really hard to stop doing it, so it will be a good thing that you have someone to help you. Cutting is not the real problem - it's just a symptom, and often a way to show other people or yourself how bad you feel. I think it has a lot to do with not being heard and not having your emotional needs met otherwise. Then it can just get to be a habit, and how you deal with things. Of course it doesn't actually make the problems go away, but it might make you feel better for the moment.

I know what you mean about wanting to stop but not wanting to stop. Most of the time I don't really want to stop, and I don't want my scars to fade, but I know that I have to. It keeps getting worse. I haven't done it for about 3 weeks now I think.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #7  
Old Jan 06, 2004, 01:44 PM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
Yes, English is a very important subject at school here. They who talk Finnish start reading it from the third school year and we who are speaking Swedish start in the fifth school year.

It feels a bit better now when I know there is someone else that knows how it feels...

Tomorrow I'll go to the school nurse.. I don't know if i'll make to be at school. we'll see

  #8  
Old Jan 06, 2004, 04:49 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Location: CA
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Snowflake, your spelling and English grammar are better than many "native's". I need new friends!

Although I don't self injure, I can understand you wanting your wounds to show. You need someone to acknowledge your pain. Hopefully, you won't feel the need to do that anymore once you get going with your therapy sessions.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop by and say "Hi" to you. Please take care of YOU. I need new friends!


<font color=blue>"The winds of change continue rolling and they just carry me away."</font color=blue>
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #9  
Old Jan 09, 2004, 09:46 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
On Wednesday it was the worst day in my life!
When I came to school I just knew that I wouldn't make it to be there. I started to cry before my first lesson started, so a friend went with me to the school nurse. I was there for some hours and later my Mum came after me and we went home... So now my parents know about it too.
But I feel a bit better now. I've told it to two other friends too now... I hope this will be good at last!

  #10  
Old Jan 09, 2004, 11:31 AM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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A lot of times it seems like it has to get worse before it gets better. I hope that things will just keep getting better for you from this point onward.

I need new friends!

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #11  
Old Jan 10, 2004, 11:58 AM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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I need new friends! It will be even better if your parents get you some help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. I need new friends!


<font color=blue>"The winds of change continue rolling and they just carry me away."</font color=blue>
__________________


Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #12  
Old Jan 11, 2004, 10:49 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
Everyone says that it's good that my parents know about it, but I don't feel it that way.
At first I felt it like they were angry with me and now they're so silly. They've started to be soooooo nice to me and so on. And they think they understand me, even if they don't.
I can't be nice back to them ... I just feel it that way.

  #13  
Old Jan 11, 2004, 12:22 PM
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FearsomeAnna FearsomeAnna is offline
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Location: Wilmington, DE
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Snowflake (what a beautiful SN!),

Is it possible that you feel towards your parents a sense of anger because you feel you don't deserve their niceness? Or could it possibly be out of a dislike of feeling like they pity you? I've been dealing with one form of mental illness or another for 10 years, and to this day I have a hard time telling my parents if things are getting worse for me - I don't want to feel pitied. It's gotten easier over the past 10 years, especially since mental illness + teenage years = bad!, but I think I understand where you're coming from.

Have you thought about why you feel you can't return your parents' kindness?

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett
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Some people are like Slinkies - not much use for anything, but they still put a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs.
  #14  
Old Jan 21, 2004, 02:31 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
I can't stop crying...
I haven't had the feeling that no-one loves me for a few days, but now it's back. It's hard to be at school and today I didn't go there at all...
I don't know what has happened.
Last week I met the only person who I really trust in. We had a great time and he sends me messages almost everyday and asks how I am.. He shows that he cares.
There are two other persons who have been really nice to me these last days, but yesterday they almost didn't look at me. Maybe I just imagine?

  #15  
Old Jan 21, 2004, 05:28 PM
Zenobia Zenobia is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2002
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 1,130
There were times when I became oversesitive to the responses of others. The need to be loved made me search every interaction for signs that someone cares. This created major anxiety because there are times when people just need to be involved in themselves so they were not able to give the "signs" that I was looking for. It wasn't that they didn't care about me it was just that they were busy with something else right at the moment. But being the way I was their last interaction with me was their only interaction that I took as proof of their love. That wasn't fair to them because they had to be constantly proving they cared even though they had shown me that they did a million times over. As I gained confidence in my selfworth and began to believe I was loveable and likeable I became a little less upset when days like your yesterday came along. Then the feelings became vague musings, curiosity about why I felt the way I did when I had ample proof that the aloneness was not reality. What I am trying to say is don't base someone's overall response to you on one day's interaction--we all have bad days--and that things do get better in time. Hang in there.
Carrie

  #16  
Old Jan 21, 2004, 09:11 PM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Snowflake}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Here's a hug for you. Since Carrie already said it so well, I'll just refer you to her note for the rest. Sometimes people just have something else they are thinking about, but it doesn't mean that they care about you any less. Sometimes it might be a chance for you to ask them how they are and show them that you care about them.
I need new friends!

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #17  
Old Feb 04, 2004, 08:57 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
Hello again!

I haven't been here for a while. The reason is that I've felt better. Much better, in fact. But, as you can see, I'm here agin.
These two last weeks have been wonderful. All my lovely friends have made me feel better and the psychologist thought I didn't need to visit him this week. But then something happened yesterday and now I've fallen down again.
-Whatever you do, don't fall in love!!
It's so typical. I had begun to trust in people again and I dared to fall in love again. I shouldn't had done that. Yesterday my heart went broken.
I'm afraid of love. Really really scared...
When I came home from that boy yesterday I hurt myself again and again. I couldn't do anthing else. And I cried for hours...
I'll meet my psychologist tomorrow. And I really hope I'll get that wonderful feeling back...

Take care everyone!

  #18  
Old Feb 04, 2004, 11:06 AM
Zenobia Zenobia is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2002
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 1,130
Dear Snowflake,
don't worry, you will get that good feeling back. I know that it may not feel like it because heartache is so overwhelming but you can and will feel better,
Take care,
Carrie

  #19  
Old Feb 04, 2004, 02:00 PM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
We have all had setbacks. You just have to pick yourself up again and go on from there. And I think that sooner or later you will find that love is worth it, at least once you find the right person. The road is rocky until you do, and you can get hurt, but I hope you don't give up entirely.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I need new friends!

I need new friends!
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #20  
Old Feb 23, 2004, 09:41 AM
snowflake snowflake is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Posts: 8
It's better again.. two weeks and I haven't hurt myself. I think this will be all right at last.
"Never fall in love" I wrote last time. I take it back. Becuse love has hit me again... Usually I don't fall in love "just like that", but this is something different...
I have got a lot of new friends and has left those who I think weren't any good friends. I can't say that I'm happy, but I will be happy again... soon.

  #21  
Old Feb 23, 2004, 10:45 AM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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That is good news, snowflake! I need new friends! I am happy for you. Thanks for letting us know how you are doing, and remember we're always here. You can come talk to us any time, whether you are doing well or not.

I need new friends!

<font color=orange>"Everyone has a need for significance; and if we can't make that possible, or even probable, in our society, then it will be obtained in destructive ways." -Rollo May</font color=orange>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

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