just need to get this out of my head!

I've been doing so well lately... I've got a job, the access with my oldest daughter is going really well, my meds are being reduced, but all of a sudden I'm not coping with life. I am getting SOOO angry at the littlest thing which is not fair on my girls, and I am in tears often too. My nurse said that it is perfectly normal to feel like that as I stil have many big stressors in my life but a couple of days ago I started 'punishing' myself for all the bad that I am doing to ppl. My girls do NOT deserve to be continuously told-off and seeing me get so angry over nothing. I haven't self harmed for several months yet I went back to it so quickly and easily and it wasn't just a one-off either. I am so disappointed in myself, and am too ashamed about going back to it that I don't want to tell my nurse.
But that's all. Just had to get that out of my head!

For irishsj,

I can soooo relate!! My life has made a turn for the better too yet still...it's like the past catches up with you!! It's like HEY is my life is better why don't I FEEL better!! I punish myself too. Well in your post you made it sound like you just wanted to vent..that you would be fine after you wrote it out....tell us how are you doing now?

((((((((irishsj))))))))

I did miss seeing you around

I think your nurse would understand if you told her that you slipped up, she obviously understands that what's happening now isn't your fault. It really isn't.

I'm really glad you've got a job and that you get to see your oldest daughter more often - that's really nice.

*HUGS* Take care of yourself.

((((irishsj))))
sorry that u aren't feeling too great right now, ur probly going thru a lot of changes right now with the job and reduction in meds, and although positive, they can be stressful too. although ur frustrated w/urself please remember u r doing ur best and u don't deserve to be punished for that. lots of ppl have a lapse in their recovery sumtime - i sure know i have! - but the key is to dust urself off and try again. take care and try not to be too hard on urself
Zombiette

maybe you are not ready to reduce meds with the new stressors of the new job and all, ask your doc to put you back on them fully until you are settled more in your new job,

dont think of it has a step back, think of it has a aid to help you get resettled, once you have stabilised in your job then think about trying to reduce again.

good luck

thanks everyone
I did talk with my nurse, and altho I still very SOOO guilty about everything she is such a great support and helped me put things into perspective. She pretty much said the same as you guys did, so now I need to say it to myself and believe it... easier said than done of course! Venting did make me feel better; now I just gotta keep on venting and getting those negative feelings out in a positive way... also easier said than done. But hey, at least I know I got you guys to turn to when the going gets tough
Again, thank you
xxx irish