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#1
Mar 06, 2008, 08:50 PM
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I don't know if this is triggering or not... I don't know how the hell I am going to make it the next two days. I'm going to be snowed in with my parents and they are already ripping each other to shreds. I'm so nausated right now. I already cut last night and here I am listenting to them fight, scream, cuss, and beliddle each other. My dog is whimpering in my arms and I am full of silent tears and screams and all I want to do is hurt. I don't know what to do..I just want to hurt myself so bad. I'm scared out of my mind. They don't know..They dont' understand..how much they trigger..I just need some comfort..please somebody anybody..I just need someone right now.
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#2
Mar 07, 2008, 12:36 AM
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silver my son and his fiance live with me.... and they tend to fight a lot... and it really triggers me...and causes my urges to get worse... sooooooo i finally told my son how it was effecting me... well not the cutting part...but how it causes me to panic... and they have been really working on it... i think it has been good for them too...l maybe it would work for you too...lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#3
Mar 07, 2008, 04:23 AM
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that's a good idea - sometimes parents finally "get it" when their kids calmly tell them "you know, you're affecting me too. and when you scream and yell at each other, i cut."
or you may have to take up meditation and purposely push your mind away from their stupidity. If things get too bad with their fighting, call the police. have any friends you can stay with? kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#4
Mar 07, 2008, 01:54 PM
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It's okay I actually made it through the night. I'm really proud that I ended up not hurting myself. I've tried to tell them it raises my anxiety level..and when my anxiety level rasies my other problems raise with it..the voices..insomnia.. but they won't listen. Thanks you bchlyn and Kiya. It was really nice to wake up this morning and find your support.
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#5
Mar 07, 2008, 03:20 PM
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Hey can you get comfort from your dog... cuddle it and play with it, maybe take it for a walk so you're out of the house?
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#6
Mar 08, 2008, 04:04 AM
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it's finals and thngs are crazy - i've not been in here a lot...
how are things? still ok? GLad you got throug - gold star =) kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#7
Mar 08, 2008, 02:16 PM
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Things are better. They're still snappy but it's not the whole blown screaming match like it was thursday night. I feel so silly when I get so upset about their fighting. I should be used to it by now. Thanks Kiya!! I hope your finals went well.
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#8
Mar 08, 2008, 04:49 PM
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I don't think it's silly at all. fighting can get out of control - i know too well.
thanks - i am done *yay*!! no grades posted yet.... *bites nails*
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#9
Mar 09, 2008, 03:59 AM
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Yay for you being done with finals!! I know you did great..because your really awesome and thanks so much for the support!! Let us know how the grades turn out!!
 I'm at a friends house because I just needed to get away from them. I'm upset though because even though I made it through the screaming I went and SI friday and saturday. It's like no matter what I try and do to get ahead and bet this it just turns around and tempts me agian.
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#10
Mar 09, 2008, 09:24 AM
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kiya... hurray for finishing your classes
silversparrow... i don't know if it's the same for you, but for me sometimes it's after the fighting starts to dissipate... that i si... i know that sounds off... that's when i should start to be ok... part of it for me is that i grew up in a raging alcoholic home... and part of the cycle was drink... rage... abuse lyn ... so i guess i just kind of repeat the pattern in my life... another part of it for me is the tension i feel after... you know like... is it really over... how long till the next explosion? be gentle with yourself... this is a really hard pattern to break... lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#11
Mar 09, 2008, 02:53 PM
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Lyn, that is a clear insight. I, too, have SIed afte the fighting. the tension is still in the body and that is a way to release it.
T's having "us" look for new ways. one thing new for me is that there is an "us" - former t's have always inferred that "i" fix this or do that... now with this t i guess we're in this together. silver - try and take good care. we're all rooting for you! Kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#12
Mar 10, 2008, 09:48 PM
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Thanky you bchlyn and Kiya..it means alot. I'm making an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. I've been delaying for awhile..about two or three weeks. I've been putting it off because it's easier to pretend I don't have a problem and I really don't want to have to deal with the past..but in order to move forward I guess I have to. I'm glad your T is so supportive. I hope mine is!!
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#13
Mar 10, 2008, 10:02 PM
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(((((((((((((( Silversparrow )))))))))))))))
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