doctor's office

I haven't had my annual physical this year yet, and i'm kind of worried. No one else that I know knows about my SI, and i worry about what will happen when my doctor sees my scars. I used to cut into the skin with my nails, not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a scar. Last year, i covered up those scars by scratching over them until it was sore, so the slight scabbing hid the cut scars, and i told my doctor that i had been itching really bad there, like when you just go into a scratching frenzy. Well, he believed it, but i don't think i can do the same thing with these scars; razor scars are different than nail-cut scars, and there are too many. If scratch over all of my cut areas, it might look suspicious, and if i don't, it'll look suspicious anyway. I'm not looking forward to telling him about my SI--i'm not looking forward to telling anyone about my SI. But i have a question: if he does find out, because i'm only 17, is he required to tell my mom about it? My mom is absolutely the LAST person i would want to find out about it, because she's already got enough ***** on her plate, and i don't want to add on to it, nor do i want to disappoint her.

Hmmmmmmmm don't knwo about the age thing. but can you skip the physical this year? are you generally healthy? (you don't have to answer this - this is just for you), but are you sexually active? if not, and you are healthy you could probably skip it for a year (i have been told this by professionals before). THen you could treat the scars with e oil or scar cream for next year.

When my Dr. saw fresh cuts from my si, she was pretty cool about it. There was no way to pass them off as anything but si. She was really nice and non-judgemental about it, and just wanted to know if I was seeing anybody to get help for it. As soon as I told her I was, she was ok and let it drop.

Whether your Dr. is legal required to tell your parents varies. In some places the age is 16 and in others it's 18. But you can always ask the Dr. not to tell your Mom because you don't want to worry her.

But your Dr. will probably want to help, and may want to refer you to therapy. They may also ask you some questions such as how long you've been diong it, how ofter you do it, have you ever needed stiches - that kind of thing, to help guage how serious it is.

I wouldn't let it stop you from getting a physical though - yes the questions might be embarrasing and uncomfortable, but you'll live through them.

--splitimage

i don't know what your relationship with your mom is like... so all i can do is tell you how i would feel if i found out that one of my children cut... i would be really concerned... and it would worry me... but as a parent i need to tell you i would much rather know what is going on with my child then not knowing... even when i had a lot on my plate... i would never want my child to feel the pain i do when i cut... and i would want to get them whatever support they needed... just my 2 cents worth... like i said i don't know what your relationship is with your mom.... but i can tell you how i would feel even when my plate is full...lyn

That's giving me something to think about, lyn. Thanks everyone.

I think you should go... they'lll have seen SI scars before, very likely, and if they ask about them, you can say you're getting help (if you really are getting help)

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bchlyn said:
i don't know what your relationship with your mom is like... so all i can do is tell you how i would feel if i found out that one of my children cut... i would be really concerned... and it would worry me... but as a parent i need to tell you i would much rather know what is going on with my child then not knowing... even when i had a lot on my plate... i would never want my child to feel the pain i do when i cut... and i would want to get them whatever support they needed... just my 2 cents worth... like i said i don't know what your relationship is with your mom.... but i can tell you how i would feel even when my plate is full...lyn

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I was 18 (and living 200km away from home) when the 1st dr treated my SI, and it was...another...8 yrs before my mother found out. Admittedly, I do not have a close relationship with her. I have ensured a very close strong bond with my 2 girls for this reason, and as lyn said I would be devastated if they ever felt they could not come to me with something no matter what else was happening in my life. They will always come 1st. If you have a dr you trust and have a good relationship with, and who will not tell anyone if that is what you want, then getting the SI out in the open will make that relationship stronger and easier for the future...(all IMO of course )
Take care.

The thing is, silverqueen, that i'm not getting any help. So far, the only others who know about my SI are the people on this website.
Many times, i've considered talking to my mom about how i feel--not about my SI, but about the feelings that have led to SI. I figured that if i was to tell her about my feelings, the SI part would come later; i wouldn't want to tackle the whole thing all at once. But each time i've come remotely close to telling her, i back out, and i just can't. Then i start thinking, "well, maybe if i keep it a secret until i leave the house, then i can get help for it once i'm gone, and she may not ever have to know." But it's hard keeping my feelings a secret--it's not hard to hide it, it's just hard to keep it inside.