[kax25]

First off i would like to say hi to everyone and sorry if i just babble on tonight.

Ok so i talk to my bestfriend about my si-ing and ive done so for about a year now but i started to feel bad about talking about all my problems and i just thought it wasnt fair to her anymore.She always tells me she wants me to tell her everything but i still feel bad. So something happened but i didnt want to tell her and she called and i pretended like nothing happened and she didnt think anything was wrong so she was happy. The next day i told her that i lied to her about nothing being wrong( i dont know what i was thinking)and she got all pissed at me and hung up the phone. I know i probably shouldnt of told her i lied to her.The way i see it is im just trying to do whats best for her by not telling her and pretending to be happy so shes happy. I dont know whether im doing the right thing or not.

Max

[SweetCrusader]

You know what? You've got a friend who wants to be supportive of you, and is probably worried about you. Count yourself very lucky!

Are you trying to protect yourself from being hurt? I mean are you worried that you will rely on her too much and she'll go away?

Please remember that not talking about what is wrong will only contribute to you wanting to self-injure more. If you have someone who wants to be supportive of you, let her be! That's a wonderful thing to have!

I think you messed up a little by telling her nothing was wrong, but that's not a huge deal. It's definitely forgivable. I DON'T think you did the wrong thing by admitting to her that you lied. I personally think you should tell her WHY you lied about it. Maybe even show her this post. Lying to your friends is NOT cool, and it's a darn good way to chase them away. Don't chase this one away. She's there for you!

Best of luck to you, and your friend
Angela

[blackdragon]

I have two close friend who know that i SI.. they are from music camp that i go to.. well i feel that i dump too much on them and i suck them dry emotionally.. i tend to lie to them too... I dont tell them i lie. I only told them once and i got the same reaction u did. I dont know if thats the correct answer.. but i can relate... I think u should tell her ur sorry and why u lied.. It might also help to give her information about SI.. I did that with my two friends and it works.. they know that if i dont want to talk they dont pressure me.. they just say think before u do anything rash.. And usually i tell them the next day if i did anything... What would help is make out a contract... this is the contract i made with my friends:

1. I will not cut only if its a last resort (after all other interventions fail)
2. If i do cut i will take care of it.
3. I will try not to be a perfectionist
4. I will talk to them if i have a problem
5. I will keep them posted on how i am

This is a copy of mine.. u can make one of ur own for u and ur friend.. and also let ur friend know what u expect from her and dont want to expect from her...

Hope this helps..

[SylverFlames]

It's a great thing to have a friend who is there for you, even knowing about something like SI. You didn't do the wrong thing by telling her you lied to her, that was a good thing, if you hadn't it would have just eaten away at you. I agree with Sweet Crusader, you need to explain to her why you lied, and how you feel.

Hopefully everything will work out. Let us know how you are doing, and what happens.

[kax25]

Thanks for responding.

Im not trying to protect myself im trying to protect myself from being hurt its her im trying to protect. If she wanted to leave she would of already of left me to deal with this by myself last year, and you're right Sweet about it getting wrose not talking about it.
Thanks for the idea of the contract black. it seems to be a good idea and i think i might try it.
Im going to talk to her more about it tonight because we got in a big fight about it last night and we both just hung up.
Max

[Rapunzel]

It's great to have a supportive friend who cares about you like that! It would be good if you had some therapy too so that you can work on the problems that are leading you to need to hurt yourself, but having a friend like that is worth a lot. I'd say even as much as a therapist - it takes both. It's important to have someone you can talk to and can be honest with. How did it go tonight?

[kax25]

Once again thankyou all for responding. It helped me alot and i told her why i lied to her and she seemed to understand what i was doing and why and now everything is back to normal. Im letting her know when things are going bad, which is everyday, but i usually seem to feel alot better after we talk. So we kind of talk rather much.
Max