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#1
Apr 28, 2008, 07:59 PM
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Why...why does everything take me back to that moment..or any of the negitive moments of my life. My dumb dog..he just had to kill those kittens..he just had to make me play witness to death again. I watched that little kitten die..and it set me off. Back to that moment..back to July..fifteen and scared. screaming..blurred. All of that guilt has emerged full force. Stayed up till four last night..slaming coffee like no tomorrow..as long as I don't sleep..as long as I only sleep for a few hours then there can be no dreams. I feel so miserable..so selfish..all I do is complain..all I do is take up space. I hate this..I hate this so much. I feel caged..pacing back and forth. Prison bars in my own mind..I am my own worse enemy. What is the point in even trying to quit..when I just do it over and over again..I can't stop..I don't want this anymore. Here they go..as if I wasn't enough. SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP MOM AND DAD!!! Please just be quiet..act more like adults..less like children. Control you hateful words..your tempers..your anger..your fist..stop hitting the walls..quite throwing things..just stop.
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#2
Apr 28, 2008, 08:08 PM
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((((((silversparrow))))))
aww hun, you done seem so good are you alright?? Take a deep breath and try and calm down a bit ok? babyg xxx
__________________
~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
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#3
Apr 28, 2008, 08:59 PM
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((((((((((Silversparrow))))))))))))))
Breathe. You can do this. Hold on, we're here for you.
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#4
Apr 28, 2008, 10:22 PM
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((((((((((silver)))))))))))))
=( breathe know we're with you kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#5
Apr 28, 2008, 11:16 PM
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caring...lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#6
Apr 28, 2008, 11:24 PM
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(((((((((((( Silversparrow ))))))))))))))))
 
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#7
Apr 29, 2008, 04:58 PM
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Trying to breathe..trying. I just feel so scatterd and jumbled. One minute I'm happy the next I'm angry and irratible. I can't control anything..and I hate it. I have been really bad about SI. I have alot here in the past three days. My thoughts just race about and I can't keep up. I'm so drained for energy..so tired...I don't know what to do except to keep trying to catch my breathe. I feel so lost and helpless.
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#8
Apr 29, 2008, 05:45 PM
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Start small silversparrow...
Count the colors in the room....take a deep breath after every three... It's not a race so count slow... When your done....decide on a favorite... The jumbling should leave like the dew... Slow.... Be good to yourself first... Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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