[Typo]

I am so lost right now.
I don't know anything anymore.
I've been good sort of, I haven't cut but I have drank.
Which really is just as bad as the other so I take that back I haven't been good I have been awful, horrible, bad, and any other correlating adjtives you can think of to go with those listed.

July is so hard, this one has been the worse so far, I've made it through three anniversries and this one is the one I think I'll lose it.
Today has been bad, and it is only 11 am, I can only imagine how the rest of the day will be.
I think tonight will be the night I cave, the urges are to much, it's one after another after another. No matter what I do to fight them off I can't.
I've tryed everything, I've wrote my little heart out in my journal, page after page after page, my hands covered in ink everynight. I think to myself one more scar won't make a diffrence, then I answer back to myself, yes yes it will. I am fighting with myself, and I am losing.

So frustrated so angry, so much pain, I can't get rid of it. I'm silently screaming.

[purplebutterfly]

((((Silver)))))
I am here for you, you can get through this- one day at a time- even one hour at a time if needed- try to do something relaxing today.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Silver ))))))))))))))
I'm here for you, PM me if you'd like to

Just a suggestion; I would pray more, turn to GOD, he is there for you and can help you. The only thing you have to do is ask him and believe in him. He only gave you 1 body and your not suppose to destroy it. Try to get outside and get some fresh air, maybe talk with a neighbor or a family or friend. I find that when I talk to someone in person about my SI that it really helps me.

I just hurt myself last week for the first time in 11 months!!! I just couldnt take it anymore. Most of all, if you have to SI, be clean and careful. Try to ,,,,,,,, if you HAVE TO; GO EASY.

IF WORSE COMES TO WORSE, MAYBE CHECK YOURSELF INTO BP2 FOR A WEEK OR SO, OR ATLEAST 72 HOURS UNTIL YOU GET STRAIGHT. A MEDICATION ADJUSTMENT MAY BE ALL YOU NEED.

SEROQUEL WORKS WONDERS FOR ME AND HAS REALLY HELPED TAKE MY URGES AWAY BUDDY.

Good Luck
God Bless and Take Care Please
Mikey/Pugs/PA

[blue_roses]

((((((((((((( silversparrow )))))))))))))))))

i'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. anniversaries are especially hard. i've got several coming up myself and i'm dreading each one.

stay safe!

[x_BabyG_x]

Breathe hun, take it one step at a time
((((((((silver)))))))))))

you can fight the urges, just like you have done before... just hold onbyg xXx

[Der_Sohn_des_Leides]

I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier.

(((((Silver)))))

You're not a failure for drinking; you're human. You are facing a really tough anniversary and have a lot going on in your life, so you turned to something that has brought you comfort in the past (though it definitely isn't the healthiest way to deal with things, I know from my own experience).

The worst thing you can do after breaking sobriety is beat yourself up over it. U=You'll just make yourself feel worse and worse. I know for me it just usually leads to me drinking again and much more ("Well, I broke my sobriety, so what's the point?"). Don't let yourself fall into that vicious circle. Take care of yourself and treat yourself with the love, attnetion, and affection you deserve.

I'm here with you in this tough time,



J

[Typo]

I made it through the night without hurting myself or drinking.
I'm hoping I can make it the rest of July.
Thank you all for your support.

[purplebutterfly]

((((((((Courtney)))))))))

[blue_roses]

((((((((((SilverSparrow)))))))))))))))

congrats on your accomplishment!!! wonderful news!!!

[bipolar_bear]

Awesome news. I am so happy for you.

BB