[vampyre love]

we are all 13 and my friend held a party at her house because she had the house to herself for the weekend, she got her older sister to buy loads of alcohol and got her sister to look after her baby brother. At the party every one ended up really drunk and doing inapropiat things. Two of my friends have SEX in the bathroom and they both really regret it, I let two guys finger me and i tossed them off. The rest i cant rember but i shared a sleeping bag with my boyfriend and everyone else was in bed with theres. I only went to this party because the person who held it never told me they was going to be alcohol, I drink a glass of wine with my dinner at home or at special occatations have cocktails, bacardi and other stuff but have never really goten drunk before, never mind done the stuff i did at the party before, i can't believe i did that and i am sex there without protection. I can't tell my mum because i know she would kick me out without thinking twise. And i can't tell my T because she tells my mum every thing. what the heck am i suposed to do?

[lynn P.]

My daughter's going to be 13 this yr. We don't allow her to be at sleep overs. She went to a pool birthday party this summer where boys were invited but I spoke to the mother first and she said she had 5 parent volunteers. Even with that one boys tried to hold my daughters head under water. My daughter so far hates alcohol and she knows not to engage in risky behavior. I always tell her to call me if she's ever in a bad or uncomfortable position.

How much did you drink? Are you worried you had sex and don't remember. I wondering why you let the other boys touch you, when you have a BF.

All I can say is this party was a bad idea and 13 yr olds shouldn't be left unsupervised with alcohol. Have the confidence not to let yourself be in a bad situation and leave next time.

[vampyre love]

i had some WKD but only alittle but someone sparked the drinks with vodka so i don't know how much i drank, and i am worried you had sex and don't remember, well i let the other boy 1. cos i was drunk and 2. it was my BF and is best mate together taking turns

[MandiePoo]

Okay honey. Take some deep breaths, ok?

The very most important thing right now, is that YOU ARE OK after all of that happened. ARE you ok? How do you feel about all of this? I get the sense you feel a little shaken up, unsure, and perhaps a bit guilty for going further than you wanted to with the boys?

It is really really important for you to talk to SOMEONE about this. It doesn't have to be your mother if you are not ready and you feel she would kick you out of the house. Most areas and countries have a childs phone in line where you can talk anonymously, or you can continue here.

I myself am almost thirty now, but you know, a long time ago when I was your age, I did alot of those type of things so I know how you feel right now. I want to share that with you because I don't want your life to go the way mine did.

It is admirable that you are worried about your friends right now as that shows you are a sensitive and caring person! However, you need to focus on YOU for the moment and how you will make your choices from here on out.

You say you are worried that you may have had sex without remembering you did - is this right? If it is, do you have a planned parenthood in your area? You can phone them for advice and possibly go in to talk to a nurse as well if you think thats something you need. You can even be checked for STD's for free at most of the clinic, but I am not sure if they would have to tell your mom. Here if you are over 12 they do not have to tell anyone, i think.

A good practice to follow is ALWAYS mix YOUR OWN drinks at parties. Never let anyone give you a drink no matter how well you know them! The reason is if you mix it, you know what is in it, and if you decide to drink, you will be able to control how much and what. Even if your best friend mixes your drink, perhaps someone else has spiked it already and she doesn't know. ANd carry your drink with you everywhere even the washroom! I often only drink from bottles at parties or bars, because its harder to slip something into a bottle than a glass.

Can you tell me what country of the world you live in? Then I can find you a phone in line to call where you will be anonymous.

Okay, some questions. What is it you want to do about choices from here? Do you feel like you want to continue to have sex? Do you feel like you may want to drink again? Or right now you feel like you would rather not get into those things until you are older? You have alot of power here for the future - you can make those choices and I am not telling you either is wrong. But you do need to decide how to do that safely and make some plans if you decide you are going to. It is really important to use protection.

I'll keep an eye on this thread, and will reply when you write back and let me know a bit more. Don't panic ok? You are safe and ok now and the focus should be on keeping safe in the future - a mistake is just that, a mistake and although its not good that it happened, it doesn't mean the end of your life.

[lynn P.]

What are you scared of at this moment? There's a good lesson to be learned from this IMO.
1. You're too young to be having sex IMO
2. Too young to be drinking unless it's a glass of wine with your parents consent at their house.
3. Don't attend unsupervised parties - someone could easily slip a date rape drug in your drink.
4. Know that you're free to leave a party or situation where you're not comfortable.

[vampyre love]

Can you tell me what country of the world you live in? England west yorkshire
What is it you want to do about choices from here? i really don't know
Do you feel like you want to continue to have sex? well, not untill i am older and i never wanted to now in the first place and i don't know if i ever have
Do you feel like you may want to drink again? to be honest yes but never again at a party but a glass of wine
Or right now you feel like you would rather not get into those things until you are older? as i said when i am older

i am just scared of what could of happen or might of happend

[Evening]

First off I have to disagree that you are too young to drink unless it's a glass of wine with your parents. You are too young to drink full stop. My mother has been an alcoholic since she was 15, she ended up with a lot of bad men, became an extremely bad, abusive, neglectful parent, ended up doing marijuana and speed, has broken 7 bones while under the influence, ended up living in a car, spent her 40th birthday in rehab, and is now at the age of 42 living in Salvation Army accommodation. My mother also suffers from agoraphobia and depression, and drinking at such a young age can affect the proper development of your brain, causing you to be more at risk of these illnesses. My mother RUINED her life from drinking at such a young age, don't let that happen to you. Parents don't always know best, my aunty gave my 2 teenage cousins a bottle of bourbon each, even after years of me telling them the risks and them telling me they wouldn't drink underage, they are now on their way to being yet more alcoholics in my family. My mother was so mad when she found out about it, she said she would have called the police if she'd known. Until, that is, I told her that she had done the EXACT same thing for another cousin while she was drunk, something that she does not for a second remember, and she was pretty shattered to find out. The only person who knows all the things she did and was she was like is me, I have to carry that on my own.
Sorry to lecture, but I PASSIONATELY hate alcohol, it's evil stuff and serves NO benefit to anyone.

[MandiePoo]

Originally Posted by vampyre love

Can you tell me what country of the world you live in? England west yorkshire

In your area, the service is called Childline, and you can reach them to chat at 0800 1111. It is an anonymous service where counsellors can talk with you about whats going on, and they may help you to work this out as well.


What is it you want to do about choices from here? i really don't know

Thats ok. The important thing here is that you are working on deciding that, which is very mature. It is important for you to remember to do the very best thing for YOU. No matter who pressures you into doing what, do what you think is best for you - and to decide what that is, talk to older people you trust and do "research". It seems like you value waiting to have sex, and drink, and such things - I would stick with that as I think that is a good sound choice for you right now.


Do you feel like you want to continue to have sex? well, not untill i am older and i never wanted to now in the first place and i don't know if i ever have

Then stick with that, for sure. Thats another mature, healthy and good choice. Trust me when i say that losing "it" early, is almost never a good thing and almost everyone regrets not waiting later on. You can always lose it, but you cant ever get it back. Sometimes it seems like in today's world, its not a big deal, but later on it is, believe me.


Do you feel like you may want to drink again? to be honest yes but never again at a party but a glass of wine

That too, in my opinion, is a great choice. Drinking is not something you need to do in excess right now! you have learned a really valuable lesson here - that when you drink in excess, it often leads to choices being made that you wouldn't necessarily feel good about later on when "straight headed". Plus you know what? When you drink alot, you almost always feel like utter garbage the next day. Hangovers are NO fun. Leave that for when you are older and are more comfortable with yourself and your choices. Right now focus on learning about you in safe ways!

Or right now you feel like you would rather not get into those things until you are older? as i said when i am older


I think you are very smart to wait. 13 is pretty young, but i remember feeling so ready for everything at the time. But you know what? And i promise this is not just because im an adult - Now, i look back, and i realize how young i really still was. I was just a kid. I felt like an adult - but I so wasn't. I promise.


i am just scared of what could of happen or might of happened

Rightfully so! you are a young girl, who may not be able to defend herself or keep herself out of bad situations if hazy because of alchohol. You should have all your wits about you whenever possible.

Good luck and keep talking

[vampyre love]

thanx mandiePoo i am waiting for my boyfriend to come back from his holiday and ask him what happend so i will tell you later

[vampyre love]

just back from my BF's house this is what he said happend but i don't know if i should believe him because he saw how scared i was he might of changed things: he said we both got really drunk, well everyone did, and me, his friend and him went to one of the bed rooms up stairs and strated messing about playing dirty dares then it started to get really serious his friend started fingering me then my BF did and then i Tossed off his friend of so my BF got jealous and kicked him out of the room, then i tossed my BF off and well he said we had ORAL SEX (which i really don't know what it is?) and then we went back down stairs and shared a sleeping bag.

i really don't know if i should believe him because he is always trying to protect me so he could be lieing so i stop been to scared and what is oral sex, yes i know it is kind of stupid if i don't know what it is even though i may or may not have done it?

i am waiting for when i am suposed to be on a period to get really scared if him might of missed something out and i could be in big trouble if he did. so i will up date in about 1 week.

[MandiePoo]

You will not get pregnant from oral sex. In that regard, you can take a sigh of releif.

You can only get pregnant if his sperm or ejaculate(what comes out when he "cums" touches or enters your vagina. So as long as it did not you are ok. Keep in mind though while EXTREMELY rare, some people have gotten pregnant from sperm being on someones hands and then being fingered. That would be EXTREMELY rare though.

Okay - Oral sex. I can explain this. Please don't be embarassed that you did not know and dont feel stupid! how would you know, unless someone told you or you read about it? You know? You can only know what you find out about!

Oral sex is kissing or licking of the other persons genitals. That would mean if you put your mouth on his penis, or scrotum, you would be giving him oral sex. If he were to put his mouth on your vagina, usually kissing or licking, sucking and that sort of thing, then he would be giving YOU oral sex.

You can not get pregnant from oral sex.

You can however, get STI's from oral sex. From now on if this happens, something you can do to protect yourself is to have him wear a condom, before your mouth touches him. If he is giving YOU oral sex, you can place a dental dam(sheet of plastic you can get at a drug store) over your vagina, or in a pinch, you can even use plastic wrap!

I get the feeling that you dont have a whole lot of knowledge in this area yet. Good time to gain that knowledge, i think!

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/teens/index.aspx

that is a site made specifically for teenagers, that has loads of information about everything to do with sexuality. I would HIGHLY reccomend you go over the entire site bit by bit - I think it will answer loads of questions, some you never even knew you had! lol.

Try not to be too worried about getting pregnant. From everything you have told me it sounds like you are not. However there is always that chance, so just track your period. There is really no sense in worrying until you have something to worry about for sure. If your period is late, and by late i mean give it at least a week. If that happens,THEN you will need to think about who you can trust that you can talk to that is an adult in your life.

Listen, if you want to contact me privately honey, at any time, I can try my best to guide you to the information you need and answer your questions, and if i dont know, I shall endeavor to find out for you. But please, go over that website really well ok? And if you have any questions about it, ask away! You can even post a link here if you want and ask the membership for answers if you are confused or dont understand.

[vampyre love]

***** it turns out i am pregnant with twins i have had an appointment, my mum kicked me out and i am living in my bf's parent's basement

[lynn P.]

You would need to be at least 2 months pregnant in order to know you're having twins? Has a doctor confirmed this and what test did they do to prove you're having twins?

[vampyre love]

yes, the party was in june i was so scared i couldn't post this at first.

[hmm...]

(((vampyre love)))

[salukigirl]

I really hope you learned from this. When I was 14 I was invited to a party and when my friends started smoking pot I immediately called my mom, told her and had her pick me up.

I drank when I was that age but never ever let multiple guys finger me. What is wrong with your bf that he thinks it is okay to do that? Are you staying with him even after he did this to you? Sounds like you surround yourself with disrespectful people and that if you want to change, you need to change who you surround yourself with. It's hard to be good when everyone around you is doing the opposite.

[Sabrina]

vampyre love, have you had your pregnancy confirmed? How's it going?

[vampyre love]

yh it was confirmed and i guess its going okay

[edam1323]

vampyre love, I read you are from west Yorkshire, England. This means we have something in common. I know the area and the people who live here.

At this moment in time the main thing you should do is seek as much support as you can from trusted individuals.

Sadly, this is another situation among many where alcohol has created problems. I wish you all the best and hope everything goes okay. These moments in life are times to learn from. You have my full moral support if you need it, it's the least I can do, however as it has been said, you should definitely seek professional medical advice.

Take Care

- 23

[sugahorse1]

Distressed girl - Vampyre is WAY too young to be drinking and engaging in sexual acts. The situation she is in now will affect her for the rest of her life.
Lynn P is doing what any good mother should - look after her kids and guide them. Yes, there's a time when you need to start giving your kids some space to learn their own lessons, but lessons on sex and alcohol DO NOT begin at age 13/14!!

Vampyre - I hope you can find the support that you require during this difficult time. I would also suggest trying to find a therapist, but I'm not too sure how easy it will be without your mother's support.
All the best

[vampyre love]

actually i am 14 now it has just been my birthday

[notablackbarbie]

Happy Birthday Vampyre_love!! How are you now?

Know that you are not alone as you continue with all that you do. Keep reaching out for support.

Thinking of you...

[sugahorse1]

@Vampyre_love - 14 and pregnant with twins. They will be born before you turn 15. How do you intend to care for them financially? What do you know about childcare? Or are you leaving this up to your boyfriend's parents? Does your boyfriend know you are pregnant and is he prepared to walk this long and difficult road with you? What about your education and schooling?

[vampyre love]

well, the kids are been adopted, my boyfriend does know this. and as for my education i have always been above average at school because i do alot of work at home and research in my own time, so i am hoping my grades dont drop also i am get extra tutoring at home by one of my teachers so hopfully my grades will not be effected and to be honest in my life all i have ever cared about is grades because i want to be a surgeon. So i will not be keeping the kid from the second it is born.

[sugahorse1]

Vampyre - would you have considered abortion if you'd been able to? These poor kids (Or as per post #24 - you still refer to only only 1 kid at the end) will live disfunctional lives from the minute they are born. I'm not sure it is fair to bring children into the world when there is no guarantee of stability. And you are ruining your own life by being pregnant at such a young age.

Do you see a Therpaist that can help you work through the psychological consequences of being pregnant at such a young age and then giving the children up for adoption?

I also think it rather immature and harsh of you to refer to them as kids - I understand parents call their children kids - you it almost seems you are very non-chalant about what have apparently gotten yourself involved in.

And now I think it's actually time to put something out on the table that everyone has been wondering, but no-one has asked:
You have been given nothing but honest opinions, love and support on this forum. Yet nothing seems to have been taken to heart. Honestly: are you for real?
This is a website for people that have questions surrounding psychological issues. For people wanting help and support - they require mature responses. Where do you fit in?