Females: How do you like to be dominated?

I am very submissive and my partner is dominant but lately she has told me she wants to change roles when we are having sex. This makes me nervous because being dominant doesn't really come natural to me. My first instinct was to ask my partner how she would like me to dominate her, but I reconsidered because asking her what she wants isn't very dominant.

So, I thought I'd crowd source. Females: how do you like to be dominated?

Dude, asking her, utilising communication, is the intelligent thing to do.

I agree with Phreak, you're going to look like an idiot if she's expecting one thing and you do something entirely different or something she finds offensive.

Man up and ask her.

I feel that asking her what she wants would be too awkward so I thought i'd crowd source. I want to appear like I have my own ideas and am not just letting her pull the strings, which is the idea.

In that case, after you ask her call her the B word

"so how would you like to be dominated BBBBBB"

And then just disagree with everything she says...

Eta- trying so hard not to type - you know, just be a regular guy...

I think it varies person to person because of the various levels of domination. I love it when my girlfriend pins me down and takes all control and power away from me. I think that's the whole point of being dominated though. After that obvious step I think other activities vary from woman to woman and I think you should definitely talk to your partner about. I love being talked dirty to but I've been with woman who hate to be degraded.

I like.. Oh wait, this is for girls

First, I would ask her. Sex is something you should be able to openly discuss. I get why you posted here though.

I've been in relationships with very dominate men before and thought that I liked being tied up, helpless really. Pushed around in an aggressive way and basically treated as an object versus a person.

After being with my boyfriend (who is not into that, sees sex more intimate) I realized that I prefer sex that way too. This does not mean that he is not dominate however, it's just done a different way.

He controls the pace of sex, what positions we are in, how long the session is for but he does it in a more gentle and intimate way.

One thing I especially enjoy is his control of the pace of sex. We switch from a faster, harder pace to slow grinding where we shower each other with kisses. I know that he is in charge, but he is so gentle and loving that I really feel bonded in a way that is more than sex and this is how I prefer to be dominated.

Don't know if this helps, but it is a different perspective.

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Yummy!!!

Thanks for this. I will at least ask her now what her limits might be. But I will try to dominate her in this manner now.

You're very welcome. I also think that if you tell her that this is something that doesn't come natural for you it'll help. Maybe work with her to baby step up the kink factor little by little too, it'll make the process of asserting dominance easier for you I think. Good luck.

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Everyone woman is distinct like mentioned, but personally I want to feel like the man is there to satisfy his needs primarily. I want him to direct me to do his bidding and satisfy his desires. It's not about being tied up or anything like that. It's all about the look he gives me strong and fierce with harsh words emanating from his lips.

I agree with all of this minus the harsh words. I don't even think words are necessary. But yes, dominance is about taking what's yours in the way you see fit.

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Did she say that it was degrading or is it your conjecture? I am asking because, extrapolating from my experience, it may not have been her hating to be degraded - she might have simply found it stupid.

I have tried phone sex twice, with men off a dating site (whom I have not met), because I was trying to understand what draws other people to phone sex with strangers.

Both men tried talking dirty, and it was laughable, i.e. stupid beyond belief. But not degrading in the least. Just ridiculous. So I have stopped wasting my time on this comedic endeavor.

Granted, maybe with a boyfriend, rather than a stranger on the phone, there might be some interesting dynamic that makes dirty talk appealing.