My boyfriend has sex with his own mother... GSA

Is this a joke thread? God I hope so.

hamster-bamster, you have misunderstood completely. What makes incest a taboo is NOT that people have known each other all their lives and lived together as a family - it is that people are related. I mean, no one cringes if you **** the neighbour next door who was like a brother to you when you grew up. Even though the social dynamics in that relationship might have been exactly like a sibling relationship would be. What makes it a taboo is that you are related to someone. He came out of that woman's vagina, that's what makes it disturbing - not that she'd older, I couldn't care less about that (nor that a woman in her 60s has sex - I sure hope I do when I'm that age).

I agree. This is quite scary, and you should never accept that fact that he's cheating on you. Let alone with his own mother. Ugh.. Woah.

The fact that he likes it says a lot. It's wrong on all levels and for all this time he has been cheating on you, have you considered he told you that because he feels guilty that he's with you and doing it? Not about the fact that he's actually having sex with his mother.

Is this really a trait that you want a longer term partner to have?

Whether it is or isn't his fault, it is dangerous for you, and he is putting you in all sorts of danger.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A question: Is he really trying to get better/get help if he wants include you in something that he knows is wrong? Someone else posted that he's grooming you.

Is it possible that he told you all this because he sees that he's able to get you to accept it and not run away?

Because he's trying to engage you in something that is wrong I'm afraid for you.

I know some of these posts may be direct or seam stern in tone but it's because no one wants to see you get hurt.

I was emotionally/sexually abused as I'm sure others have been who are reading this thread.

What your boyfriend is doing is wrong and it/he is a danger to your mental health. This must be so difficult for you as you have feelings for him. Clearly he also has feelings for you but they are for reasons different than love.

Love wouldn't put another person at risk/ in danger mentally or physically.

The only reason it's wrong is because of genetic problems that occur when related people procreate, right? So if you wear a condom or take the pill, that no longer becomes an issue and they are consenting adults who are not doing anything wrong.

I agree that if both are consenting adults and using protection then there shouldn't be any criminal charges. But there's something not right about it.

There's a huge emotional problem too. The fact that a mother will always be in a positron of power over her child. And with that power comes the responsibility to do the right thing and not psychologically **** up your child by using them for sex or abandoning them. Or abandoning them, then showing back up in their lives 30 years later, stirring up all their emotions, THEN using them for sex fire 10 years, further complicating their emotional sense of well being and fears of abandonment.

There are so many things wrong with this situation it shouldn't even have to be debated. It's not just a genetic problem. It's so much more than that.

Ignoring the huge emotional implications of being abandoned by your biological mother then later having her come back and use you for sex is ludicrous.

To further add, you could argue that the boyfriend here is grooming the original poster. Which is true.

But the boyfriend here has also been groomed by his mother. And that mother clearly has problems probably stemming back to her parental relationships.

You can only fight abuse with compassion and understanding. It won't be easy, but if this man is worth it, you will put in the effort. You have to be 100% honest with your feelings. You won't be able to solve anything by hiding from your feelings.

You have to make it clear how much he's hurting you. If he really loves you, seeing you hurt will hurt him too. He will cry. He will have no choice but to change or lose you. If he doesn't care about your feelings then that is your clear sign to leave. He's not ready to change.

But first you need to be brutally raw and open with him. If you don't do this now you will never know, and keep on going living a lie. Is that what you want?

No? Then talk to him.

You mean you EX Boyfriend !

I would leave this man immediately. I cannot think of a single situation in which sexual relations which one's family member is appropriate. His mother definitely has serious issues but he was a full-grown adult when this began and ought to be able to control his impulses. Personally I cannot live with someone like this but then and again I am not in your shoes and the decision ultimately rests with you. If you believe that he wants to change and seek help then perhaps you may be willing to stay with him.

No, I did not misunderstand - it is my understanding which is different from your understanding. The biological relationship - as I think I mentioned - was the original source of the taboo as humanity has tried to survive by diversifying the genetic pool. These two people are not procreating, so there is no danger of a genetically crippled offspring. Hence, we look at the family dynamics next, since the biological reality does not present concerns. For me, these relationships are important and I did feel a barrier between me and the boys I grew up with, so I did not have sex with them - several decades later, they and I might regret that we were not more romantic with one another, but it is water under the bridge. If you personally feel that having sex with a boy who has been like a brother to you since childhood, it is your personal view - I do not object to it, nor find anything wrong with it, but I do not share it. That you somehow have this fascination with the vagina aspect is your personal fascination. I do not care about the biology so much, but I care about the social dynamics a whole lot.

The disturbing part - the most disturbing part - in this whole thread is its view count. I have not read all the pages - just the last one and the one next to the last. It is simply amazing to me. In the late 2000s, Americans were fd MAJORLY because they believed that the housing prices would never fall and were getting into interest-only loans. This was insane. This was morally disturbing - people should try to stay within their means and not gamble this way. This was morally disturbing also because the financial industry took advantage of people and the regulators did not come in until there was a full blown crash. I STILL get petitions from petitions sites because somebody is trying to stay in their home and asking the bank for forgiveness - I never sign those petitions because I did not force those people to buy their homes nor did the banks force them - their stupidity, believing in chimeras (that housing prices would go up up up forever), trying to keep up with the Jones, etc. that got them into their houses.

When all of this crash, a few people got prison sentences, some committed suicides, then some laws were passed, but there was no major public outcry. I mean - the whole American dream came crashing and there was no major public outcry; some people were caught having committed major crimes, but not much outcry, because... reading about white collar crime is not titillating. It just is not. This is extremely depressing - if the three letter word "sex" does not figure in the news, people simply do not pay attention. To me it means the society is hopelessly sexually preoccupied -- not particularly active, sexually, and not particularly happy - sexually as well - either, but definitely preoccupied.

So let me ask you a question - for you, is white collar crime on a billion dollar scale less disturbing/more disturbing than or equally disturbing as what the guy described in this thread is doing, having sex with the woman who did conceive, carry, and birth him but did not raise him? What would you say - MORE, LESS, or EQUALLY? For me, not just MORE, but FAR MORE, and I can give you the reasons why. For this comparison, do not forget that the dude discussed on this thread is honest with his gf, does not abuse his gf, does not hit her, does not threaten her, does not make false accusations of her, does not cut her out of her social circle, does not hold her at gunpoint, does not exert economic control of her, does not throw jealous fits, does not defame her, does not steal from her, does not torture her, does not physically damage her car or real property, and so on.

Obviously, you realize that the list above - of the things he does not do - has come straight from this site. Every single thing has been mentioned at least a few times, and some again and again, over and over. So this guy does not do those things. But somehow he is more disturbing than the gazillions of people who do. Why?

the reason I asked the second question is that the comparison in the first - between white collar crime and what can be termed biological incest is between two vastly different things. In the second question, I ask to compare between things that can happen in intimate relationships. Meaning - if you absolutely had to choose between two men - just had to, no other options and no option to stay alone offered - would you choose this dude or a man who steals from you and holds you at gunpoint?

Again, all the examples are from this site. Being held at gunpoint and being suffocated almost to death are some of the things that have been reported on here. I am not making anything up and not exaggerating.

Take your pick!

I think society as a whole determines what is acceptable, not acceptable and illegal. Incest is hazardous for procreating as we all know. We really do not know what the psychological effects may be as it could very well be different for every one right up to darn right damaging.

As for the attraction, that's nothing new. Mothers and sons is not as common as father and daughters but IMHO equally damaging on a psychological level at the very least. I think it's purely sexual perversion for the most part. But of course 20 years ago gays were taboo and 50 years ago interracial marriages were taboo. I don't think society as a whole will ever accept incest or pedophilia. I'm not judging, just stating my humble opinion.

I agree that under current society's views on incest her behaviour is odd and possibly can be seen as abusive, however who's to say that our views on incest are correct and theirs are not?

This thread was not about a debate over a society-wide problem. The OP, who had been dating a guy for nine months, found out her boyfriend had been having a ten-year sexual affair with his biological mother, a women he didn't meet until he was an adult. He described this woman as whorish and said she'd do anything and that he really liked it a lot. It was a big turn on for him.

He wanted to make it even better by having the OP participate in a threesome, with the girlfriend, at a minimum, watching as he received oral sex from this whorish older woman who would do anything.

She was almost convinced. Maybe it would help him. Good gracious great balls of fire! This is a serious problem for one woman, the OP.

I'm shocked at how easily her plight has been ignored as the conversation has rambled off into the issue of the value of incest taboos if procreation is not going to take place. That's not the issue facing the OP.

The boyfriend wants the OP to participate, at some level, maybe only voyeuristic, in a threesome with his mistress of ten years. The OP never said she was into threesomes or that threesomes were her thing. She was trying to figure out this surprising news from her BF.

If the whorish woman had not been his bio mother, just his mistress of ten years, a woman he's been cheating with throughout the relationship with the OP, it's likely the response would be nearly a single chorus of concerned posters shouting, "Dump him!" At least, that's the usual response when a woman has been dealt a blow like this from her partner.

I'm still shouting that. Girlfriend, dump him! I hope you're safe and well and taking care of yourself. Because you are the only person who matters in this entire conversation. I hope you'll come back and tell us how you're doing. Please take care, OP, my thoughts are with you. You and your happiness count!