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#1
Jan 29, 2009, 05:19 PM
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How do you tell a guy when he's not very good at something without hurting his feelings? I always feel bad having to bring up the whole "if you did this while kissing..." thing but at the same time, it sucks having to put up with crappy kissing or touching or whatever it may be just bc ur too scared to bring it up y'know? Is there an easy way to basically say "hey, you kinda suck at this" lol
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#2
Jan 29, 2009, 05:27 PM
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Just tell it like it is. Be prepared to move on if he doesn't take it well. Actually, the worst thing you can do to a guy is break up without a reason and telling them what a nice guy they are. They know there was a reason, and they will imagine the worst.
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#3
Jan 29, 2009, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Guess What ??? Prolly not first time a guy who be * crappy * at i.e. kissing , ect . has heard it ... LOL. Now " How To " >> tactfully pull this off ? Let's do the kissing part first ,,, hehe .,,,,, To wet , to dry , to deep , to soft , tickles ..... Now plz don't go saying something like >> " Well , this one guy I knew " ,,,,,,,,,, Just remember what in the kissing department gets ya going ,, and tell him ! >>>. He'll L I S T E N ..  Moving on ,,, Foreplay ; Just [ two ways ] to go about this ,, do a touching to yourself when getting to this point and guide his hand in the same way ,,, He'll L E A R N ...  Last and foremost ..... If ya like a strong holding , tender holding ,, fastt move ,, slow move ,, just generalized dancing [ hip movements ] .......  Damn ..... What was the question ?????    WMD. |
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#4
Jan 29, 2009, 06:19 PM
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Boy..it has been awhile since I delt with this issue...
But on similar paths,,I find it appeasing to offer someone the honest opportunity to correct something in me before I attempt to correct something in them... I have this character defect of needing the moral high ground...  Silly me...  But in the end,,honesty is, indeed , the best policy... IMHO. Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#5
Jan 29, 2009, 09:15 PM
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oh dear oh my! I have the same issue but I am married to him lol. uh oh. I forgot he comes here from time to time. he sometimes gets carried away and it is amazing! lol
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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#6
Jan 29, 2009, 11:21 PM
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#7
Jan 30, 2009, 12:03 AM
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if I could just get my hubby to open his mouth! errrrrrr 12 yrs of closed mouth kisses. waaaaaaaaa
sorry honey if you come in and see this! I still love you!
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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#8
Jan 30, 2009, 12:44 AM
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 - BATMAN......  I know what you are talking about as I once broke up with a guy because he would not french kiss me.... shallow I know, but I was only fourteen. * * * * |
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#9
Jan 30, 2009, 01:08 AM
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Sorry ... * snickers * >> I could not resist this ..... At 14 ,,, a friend of my sister and a neighbor [ still see her from time to time and we hug ,, and I do a goof >.. I say , " wanna practice ?" ] But good gosh !!! I still remember that little connective part to my tongue just behind your lower front teeth ,, being so sore from kissing for so many hours ... errrm ?? what was the question ?   WMD. |
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#10
Jan 30, 2009, 01:19 AM
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yeah. ive only had to "coach" a guy once but we were like 16 so it didnt seem abnormal to be horrible at kissing haha
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#11
Jan 30, 2009, 01:35 AM
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hi Saluk....this is my first post here on this website....even being a member here for some time lol . Well, I would just say that whatever you do, please don''t say something like you suck , atleast...lol .
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#12
Jan 30, 2009, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#13
Jan 30, 2009, 11:23 PM
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haha. no he's already catching on. its mostly the holding and stuff. hes so rough! lol i mean, its only happened once so maybe i wont have to be like "dude....seriously" but i just wanted to be like "give my hips a break! they can't take your squeezing!"
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#14
Jan 31, 2009, 12:08 AM
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This is coming from what happens as life for each of us goes on ,,,,, ,,,, Take your Time Friend of Mine [ I hope ] >>..... and do the hang out with >> and make the guy >>> { * b l u s h e s * } ,,,, go slow ? ,,,, and make sure he over his last relationship >> as you may >> find ,, is also good advice too . Good advice for Everyone ............. and ..... I have re - grouped ,, and am going to >>> take a year ,, and be the peep I know I am >> and find a [ again , hopefully ] The closest , Life Traveling partner >> That I fit >> that fits Me . WMD. |
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#15
Jan 31, 2009, 02:21 PM
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yeah wmd....thats fairly obvious to me now that I need to do that. we already talked and we both decided that were not in any rush and that we both want to take it slow. thanks.
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#16
Feb 02, 2009, 06:57 PM
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This will be a Comic relief posting :Spinsssssssssssssssssssssssssss ,,, Rapidly in phone booth .  00000000000pppppppppppppppssssssssssssssss !!!! Wrong phone booth ...  WMD. |
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#17
Feb 13, 2009, 11:58 PM
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Dear SalukiGirl,
As long as you stay positive, in asking for what you want, you will be fine. Don't tell him, he is holding you to hard. Tell him, you like to be held gently. Don't tell him, he doesn't open his mouth enough while kissing. Tell him, you would like him to open his mouth more, while kissing. You don't want to be critical of him. Don't tell him, he is doing something wrong. Express to him, what you like, and how you like it. If he can't handle that, i.e., if he is not responsive to your wants and needs, than maybe, you want to consider moving on. Lastly, spread your requests out. Don't present him with a list, during a given encounter. Also, acknowledge his response, to your requests. I wish you the best, Larry P.S. An SIU girl, taught me to kiss. |
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#18
Feb 15, 2009, 03:49 AM
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Um, what would you expect in his place? Probably that he would be honest, on the other side maybe that he would tell it gently, kindly, patiently and respectfully.
Thing is, sexuality (beginning from kissing) is a very intimate and very personal matter! So it is better not to hurt a partner, even unwillingly, I think. Rude and tough messages like "your kissing is crappy" or "you suck in ..." can damage a young man's sexual self-esteem and confidence. And will not make him a better lover - sometimes even the opposite is the case... So you are not talking and giving feedback when making love? I cannot imagine that. Giving and receiving is a constant inter-action. Besides, there is always feedback, more or less openly, more or less faked or true. I prefer the open and non-faked side. Here progress is possible. On the other side only stagnation. Why not see it as a kind of adventurous trip together? I wish a lot of fun in exploring the wide areas of giving and taking lust. bluenarciss
__________________
It is the way it is. I can't change that. But there might be a way to change how I react. (Meanwhile I found out, there are such ways.) To cope or not to cope - that is the question. Healing comes from within. As I see it, the trick is to find the lost way back to safe home. Wherever I am, whatever happens to me, my safe home is always with me. |
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#19
Feb 15, 2009, 09:17 AM
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I would recomend buying him a subscription to Men's Health This is an excellent source of information for many things but every issue devotes some pages to improving a man's love making and how to please his partner, many of those articles are actually written by women.
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#20
Feb 16, 2009, 05:26 PM
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he actually has been pretty responsive to me cause sometimes instead of just flat out telling him Ill actually do what Im wanting him to do and he follows. And he has said to me "tell me what you want or if you want me to do something differently". But then I think of my ex and how he told me that i was only mediocre at giving head and that hurt my feelings so bad. Eventually he moved me up to "best head ever" status after a few months but when he told me that he had gotten better head before i couldn't stop thinking that he was wishing he was getting it from his ex when I was doing it. And that was the worst feeling in the world. So I don't want to say it in a way that makes him think of another guy doing it to me y'know? im afraid if I say "I like it when you do this..." he'll go crazy about it like I did. Only...im actually crazy so maybe not haha
even so....i think its totally wrong to tell ur current girlfriend that another girl has given you better head. thats just mean 
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#21
Feb 17, 2009, 02:45 AM
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Oh, that was really thoughtless. Tell him, that remarks like this will not lead anywhere in directions of improvement. It would take away a good bit of motivation from me, if I were in your situation.
Concentrate on telling each other as precise as possible what you think might be better. It can be a happy try-and-error game. See it as fun, not as heavy duty. Act a little playfully - that might help a lot. There is a sentence coming to my mind that seems to fit in here: We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents. Bob Ross Remember that and enjoy each other! I wish you both well, bluenarciss
__________________
It is the way it is. I can't change that. But there might be a way to change how I react. (Meanwhile I found out, there are such ways.) To cope or not to cope - that is the question. Healing comes from within. As I see it, the trick is to find the lost way back to safe home. Wherever I am, whatever happens to me, my safe home is always with me. |
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#22
Feb 17, 2009, 03:05 PM
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yeah, well luckily I'm not with that guy anymore. My bf Im with now has actually caught on really quick. And I think some of the problem before was that, I told him that i wanted him to get tested. I had been tested since my last partner change and have been tested for HIV also and everything came back negative. So we, of course, only used condoms for the first times we had sex because it took about a week for his test results to come back. And I think those damn condoms really ruined it for the both of us lol. he couldnt feel hardly anything so he was "off his game" and that just made me not even want it y'know? So now that his results came back negative for everything, and I'm on birth control, we decided it wasn't necessary to use condoms anymore and boy, has that made a HUGE difference. he seems much more confident and much more able to read me and my body language because he's not so focused on how awful it feels haha.
wasn't bob ross the one who painted those happy trees? |
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#23
Feb 18, 2009, 02:21 AM
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Yep, salukigirl, happy trees and happy mountains and a lot more happy stuff
__________________
It is the way it is. I can't change that. But there might be a way to change how I react. (Meanwhile I found out, there are such ways.) To cope or not to cope - that is the question. Healing comes from within. As I see it, the trick is to find the lost way back to safe home. Wherever I am, whatever happens to me, my safe home is always with me. |
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