"Nightmares every single morning...

Hello all,

Pleased I found this section of the forum.

I have suffered from insomnia amd nightmares and parasomnias since a child.

If ant of you have happened to read my introduction here you will know I am currently hospitalised...

I have CPTSD and was prescribed prazosin a few years ago which really didn't help, so was switched to nabilone which, very very off label us now often also prescribed for PTSd nightmares.

But for the past month or so before crashing miserably mental health wise and being admitted to hospital, have been awoken every single early morning trapped in horrible nightmares, or just really bizarre dreams that I suppose are meant fir me to process, bur I don't want them interpreted by a psychoanalyst.

Beginning to.have recurring drams fro years and years ago, and my parasomnia, one of them, sleep taking/crying/screaming, and I can hear myself...but can't wake myself up, I am trapped in a dream that, while much of the time is a " lucid dream" I am unable to loom down at my hands in the dream as they say to fo, and change the dream...

I am sleeping blessedly deeply most of the time here in hospital as opposed to at " home" ( Quotations as it is a dangerous pla e to live, can never relax there since some guy tried to break in twice in the same week a couple years ago...recently very triggered as again there was another break in.

Anyway, sorry, I digress.

I also have episodes if terrifying sleep paralysis but that, thank God, has not happened in a few weeks.

But these " night,"mares!

I feel, for many reasons, I have not really been working hard enough in therapy...or, perhaps the reverse?

Perhaps I AM processing things?

And...I know it would probably be good for me.

On the other hand...like so many other things, just want to bury it.

You.know?

@Autumn88, I can empathise a little bit with your nightmares issue. I started experiencing repeated episodes of severe nightmares, bordering on night terrors shortly after I started taking SSRIs, which I was taking to treat anxiety and depression. Apparently, I would also physically scream, kick, and thrash out with my hands, within a short time after falling asleep.

I also found I experienced them any time I fell asleep, even in the morning or during the day. What made matters worse was that all I wanted to really do was sleep, even during the day, I think it was my way of protecting myself when anxiety and depression were at their worst. It seemed I couldn't win. Being awake was awful, full of fear and dread, and so was sleeping.

After I stopped taking SSRIs it took a long time (12 months, possibly longer) before the nightmares eased, and even now I can have a few days in sequence where they return (much milder) and then subside.

I'd read that counselling is one of the better ways of treating nightmares, but I didn't pursue that route myself.

I wish I could offer you some helpful advice, perhaps others on here will be able to suggest some potential paths to look into. It is a terrible, terrible thing to experience, and you must feel completely overwhelmed with all of the other complications you have in your life.

Jeff.

Thank you for your empathetic words @NovaBlaze

I am so sorry you had such a dreadful experience with nightmares due to SSRI's.

I can relate to your sharing how when you were going through it both being asleep and being awake were torturous.

I feel exactly the same way right now.

Thank you for caring and I hope you are OK.

It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation and hopefully the hospital will surround you with people to give you support. I know it can be difficult but I do believe with the correct support then facing the problems that haunt us do give us insight, clarity and the ability to heal and move on. The body doesn't let us forget. It also sounds like the place where you live isn't safe and you don't feel safe in it, is there any option or ability to move somewhere else?

- Stay safe, wishing you healing and dreamless sleep! Forest Child x

Thank you for your kind and empathetic words for me @Forestchild.
(Love your beautiful username, have you much nature to retreat to where you live?)

Forgive me for not replying sooner, just having a terribly hard time since I left a really a very useless and damaging hospital admission, that no, did not offer me any support...apart from literally only two nurses who truly cared.

A lot of dangerous incompetence there...mistakes with my meds... and me, being the stupid mentally ill person, had to really fight to get them to finally correct, with no apologies for their errors.

Doctor who admitted me literally mocked my religious beliefs

Was pushed to have ECT, and my IP pyschiatrist hadn't even heard of The Bell Jar...which I belive ought to be required reading for a mental health professional...lost respect for her ignorance.

Backed out of ECT at the last minute.
Being too terrified of it.

Pyschiatrist really angry about it.
Discharged that same day.

Only have brief" check in calls with my OP pyschiatrist whom is also my therapist.

No word on when he can schedule a real 50 minute session with me.

Finally had to c*,t ties with emotionally abusive ex, my only " friend" Estranged from my " family" whom do not live in the same city, thank God.

Anyway forgive me for insanely rambling at you.

Still plagued by the dreams.

Live in subsidised supportive housing.
Offered a medical transfer in the winter when they finally ( supposedly, ) had the mould treated that had triggered my asthma. But as much as I hate living in fear there ( yet another criminal posted on the front door legally banned from.enertering the building) my housing management has only other deplorable dangerous bug infested properties I am terrified will be placed somewhere far worse.

Anyway, sorry to burden you.

Nobody in " real life" to talk to.

This is the sleep board,amd know haven't said much about it...

Will stop now.
Again, bless you for your kindness to.a stranger.

I.hope you ate doing ok.

Thank you for listening.

I’m really sorry you’re going through all this. What you’ve described, especially the nightmares, unsafe housing, and lack of support, sounds incredibly tough. You’re not rambling or a burden, just someone trying to cope with a lot. I hope things ease up for you soon, even just a little. Take care!

Hey @Autumn88 so great to hear from you!!

I am so sorry things are going so sh*tty for you. I know things spiral and you often think, when will my bad luck end?! - it will, it has to right?! the only way is up!
So, just double checking my reading of your message - you are back home, you are back on meds - how are they working out for you? feeling better on them?
I can't believe they mocked you for your religious beliefs and also that that psychiatrist was angry, very very unprofessional!! But, the OP psychiatrist, are they any good?

I hear you when you say that you have no one in real life to talk to. I am a kind of in the same boat in that way. But it makes it really hard to do anything risky, maybe if you had support you would have
felt like you would have tried the ECT or that you would attempt to move house? I was wondering though, with the house situation, if they offered you other housing could you not just turn it down or would you be forced to take it?
Sorry your sleep is still bad, I know what that feels like and it effects the rest of your day and your well being. I can imagine you feel a lot of anxiety with that. Tell me, do you have any good things on the horizon? things to concentrate on, I find that helps!

Haha glad you like my name, Autumn is pretty too - with the leaves and colour changes, and yes I have some lovely fields, forests and wildlife - horses and sheep and a few farms, just a 5- 10 minute walk from me I try to get out in nature when I can, nature is healing!

Hope to hear from you soon! Forest Child x