Dear abuser;

My hopes are to make a thread where anyone can post a letter to their abuser. Saying everything they ever wished to say to that person. For one reason or another whether it be death, fear, distance, drugs... Sometimes we can not tell our abusers how they have made us feel and we long to do just that. So I am hoping to create that place here. So we can get the massive trucks off our sholders and get that negative energy out of us.

This is a safe place. Post whatever whenever and to whomever you chose. If you do not feel you are strong enough to read other letters as some will, I am sure, be graphic and scary. Just post your letter. This is just to release that built up anger. Please put a trigger icon up or give fair warning of the trigger in your letter if you chose to write a letter so those who are too afraid to read on will be warned!

Hope this helps you as much as it will me. Some things have been held in too long and we need a place to say what we need to say. I'm tired of holding it in!!! Please feel free to post openly and freely and please post no negative or discouraging replies or posts as it is hard enough to be open in this!!!

Dear abuser, i was your little sister, u were supposed to protect me. Dear abuser, I kn0w what you did to me when you came into my room at night. Dear abuser, i wish i could tell you I FORGIVE U...

Thank you for being so brave trippin! I want to post my dear abuser but have to wait until I'm off work. I've tried to start it but it's too busy at work today I will post mine soon and yours will not be alone. I'm sorry for your greif and your pain! We are here for you! Thank you again for being so brave!

Dear abuser, I hate you soo much, you ruined what was suppose to be my childhood.

Dear abuser, I hope you understand why and how much I hate you.

Dear abuser, When you took credit for making my life better, I want you to realize you were the reason for my sadness and anger, the reason for ruining my chance at a happy existence and that you never gave me the time of day, I hate you soo much.

Thank you for your post as well Ardmore. I have so many things to write, so many people to write to. So many thoughts and things I've needed to say for so long but I'm at work now so I wont be able to write my dear abuser letter until I get off work in a few hours. Thanks for the replies and I hope to hear from more soon. I don't wish the bad things on you, I only wish you to heal from them and have a place to let your anger out in. I know I need one!

Dear abuser
Oh how the times have changed! You were supposed to be my guardian, my guide, my protection, you were supposed to love me. But you hated me. I know! I know you hated me and you can not deny it! I remember what you did to me. The times may be black but I remember the fear you instilled in me. You took away so much of my life. Because of you I have blackness covering so many moments that should be filled with joy and happiness. But they are a void. You have created a black hole in my life that I have been struggling to fill for 10 years. You have taken from me the precious moments of childhood that were mine to have not yours! You took from me the joy of life, the hope for happiness and the child in me. You ripped away every ounce of good I saw in the world before I turned 5.

I want her back! I want the little girl that you took out of me back. The pain you inflicted on me took the child in me before I was even able to become a child. I was just beginning my life and you took what innocence I had and I want it back!

Your time is catching up to you! So many years you have overpowered everyone. Your strength has scared anyone from helping me. Your strength and power controlled everyone around you. How do you feel now!? You can't even lift a ladder today! Did you think your sins would not catch up to you? Did you think you were unstoppable? Untouchable? I am no longer afraid of you! Your strength has left you, your mind is gone and you left your family long ago. You are alone now! You have nothing and as I build my family, as I watch the list of those who care for me grow, I watch yours dissappear! Did you ever notice?

When you gave me the gun did you know what that would do to me? Did the thought cross your mind that a 4 year old could not emotionally handle that? Did you ever think it would change my life forever? It did! We split and the daughter you could have had is now the sons and daughters you will never have.

I wish I could hate you! It's what you deserve!!! I wish with every fiber of my being that I could hate you and wish you to hell. But one thing you never took from me, my compassion for all things living! And I will not let you take that now! I will not hate you, I will pray for you, I will wish the best for you but I will never see you!

I want my child back, (not real physical child) I want her back because without her I do not feel whole. You have either killed the child in me or you have scared her into hiding and she's been gone. I've never been a child. I've never felt the child like joy, I've never had the child like imagination, hope, good outlook on the world. I can never be who I want to be until I get her back. I have no inner child. I want her back! It's not right for you to take that from me!

You are forgiven, you are not hated, but you are not wanted by any of your family. You dug this hole and the many times I tried to pull you from it, undeserving to you, you refused. This hole will soon become your grave and maybe then you will let me have her back! I do not wish for the day you leave this world, but you took something from me that I want back and she may never come back while you are still in this world!

((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))

Dear abuser.

You stole my childhood and you think that it's ok, The police arrested you and all you said was "no comment" I think if you admitted what you had done to me I could move on but you deny it.

You are my brother, Brothers are supposed to care about there sisters not abuse them, I am glad that I don't see you now but I see you in my head everyday and the flashbacks I have, Just admit what you did so I can at least try and move on.

(((((buttercup))))) thank you, I think we all need those

I do not want to waste my time to think about you. I was dependant on you and now I am adult sometimes I need a help but really enough to go home because I got food there. I got a lot of problems which are my problems and I am making my relationship more clear, I have somebody with I enjoy scramble, I have somebody who went from a bad from with me, now I just try to help one little messy boy.

I wish to be your brother and admit it and show you how I work to be the best brother on the world.

my abuser dosen't deserve dear he was an *** to me

Not Dear to me a *** I wouldn't say dear abuser for nothing. I would start out saying you didn't get me you bastard, look at me i'm still standing. And look at you ,put you in jail that's enough, no pity. start out saying you moron. great thread.

(((((avoice)))))
Whatever way you can get closure to this avoice is important. You have been angry for much too long and you have even punished yourself for not being able to control the actions of another. If you can finally get closure to this, you can finally stop punishing yourself and love yourself the way you always deserved avoice.

I am praying for you all the time.
Open Eyes

((((((((everyone)))))))

None of you fiiickers got me!!! I'm standing stronger and better than I ever did!!
Every regret, every broken bone, everyday I lost, every pain, every sick word to make me feel like I was not even a human, everytime you made fun of me when I fell, everyday that I was in hell-------They were all counted and remembered.

I own them. I own the strength it took to get back up again as well.

I am! You monsters!!! I pity all of you!

You're the ones suffering now! It always comes around in the end!

I am the one standing strong and real, and owning my own life now!!!!!!!!Hah!

((((((((((((((((((((((((avoice))))))))))))))))))))

Last Name: GONYA First Name: DENNIS Middle Name: HOWARD


INCARCERATED


Description Addresses Offenses Scars/Marks/Tattoos Known Aliases
Date of Birth: 07-20-1943
Sex: MALE
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 195
Eye Color: BLUE
Hair Color: GRAY
Ethnicity: WHITE
THE REGISTRANT MAY HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY RELOCATED When I get done with the whole world will know you and wear you are.

Avoice
I think it is the best post which I read.
Thanks for it,
Meditator

To my perpetrator,

I actually want to thank you. Oh the times I've wanted to kill you, the words I have written in anger and pain! All those poems which spat venom, hatred and grief for my innocence, but I was saved by an angel. She was patient, she listened, she helped me to make better choices and taught me how to love myself for who I am. One of those choices was to start training in psychotherapy and counselling so that I can be there for other children, women and men who have suffered at the hands of 'people' like you. So you see the massive negative which was my childhood and teen years have now turned into a positive. I no longer hate you, I pity you. Soon you may be facing me and some of the other 'survivors' of your depraved games in court. Interpol have you in their midst now. When we come face to face you will see that you didn't win - you didn't ruin my life after all
I am a good person, I am a person who is walking the path to become whole, healthy and I am managing to make real choices, good choices to help myself and others to grow, develop and live life to the full.

Eat your heart out,

Kerry

I've never written to any other abuser but my father... I think it's about time... Thanks for all the above postings! They are all so brave and deep. I am sorry for all of your pain!!!

Dear abuser;
It's been almost 15 years since I saw your face. Though our encounters were very brief and not for long, your face has forever left a nasty scar in my memory. It only took you one day, less than 7 hours to take away so much! I lost my trust in people, trust in teachers that day. My life may have been turned around but I will never regret what you put me through! I will no longer give you my pity. I will no longer let your flaws cause flaws within myself! I will no longer look back and wish I had done things differently. It was not my fault. It was yours! You did it! But because of you, because of the pain you put on me... It caused others to come forward about their pain. For that I will never let what you did to me keep me down.

I used to feel bad for you. The cops and courts were involved and I felt like I had ruined your life. But I now realize what I did was right. You tried to ruin my life. With every touch you took from me a year of happiness. You deserve what was handed to you. You deserve more but I do not hate you. You will suffer for those who you made suffer when your time comes.

You are not doing well. You're like the rest of them. You make me laugh. Watching as I once was a child and thought all the abusive people in my past were so strong and so mature and knowledgable. But now I see you, I've seen all your mug shots from other victims, and darkness has taken over your life. While you tried to force it on mine, my life continues to be filled with bright lights and colors and yours is grey and black. You now make me laugh. You no longer have the power you took when you put your hands on me. I have the power of my life and you are nothing! And I laugh...

Dearest PurpleFlyingMonkeys,

I really want to thank you for creating this thread . I am so sorry to all survivors for the pain they have endured and so grateful for those brave enough to share it. It takes courage to speak out and it is a step towards healing too. Thank you for sharing your story and for allowing me and the others to share theirs. Bless you, Kerry xxxx

I am very happy (and saddened) to see so many replies! It is unfortunate that so many have been hurt but wonderful that so many are voicing their pain, letting it be known even if it's just the pc world you are telling it to! Thank you Ophilia, your comment was very kind! We all need a place to let this anger out that we can't let out on those deserving of it! I have more dear abuser letters to write, but each one takes a lot out of me to allow myself to feel what I've been trying to conceal for so long. But I can feel the healing working already. Even if in just a small way!

Dear abuser...you destroyed our family...the violence...and horrendous unspeakable things you have done..and some you denied...trying to make the ones u did it to..look the bad ones..when we know different...you get to walk around and pretend it all didn't happen and expect us all to..while you have never paid a price for what you have done to each of us in this family. The only reason you walk about free is because of the humiliation and hurt that would come from us telling..and having to pay a price yet again..and have worn us all down.....all because you are sick..and chose to do things u knew not to do. You put me in a situation I should never have to be in....and created unimaginable pain. I truly don't see how you can stand to even be alive..as if I did such things..I know I surely wouldn't be able to bear it. I want so much to relieve myself of the burden of the secrets...and let the situation be in the light and dealt with accordingly...but, I have to honor the others u hurt and thier wishes not to go thru more pain doing so. We can't even get counseling as we would have to tell what happened for it to do any good.....so..we continue to suffer thru this.....I realize this is wasted breath as you already know the damage and hurt you caused..and are too afraid I am sure to deal with the consequences and humiliation you too would endure. Never see any remorse from you....wish you had never come into our lives.

I wish my father could spend the rest of his life in prison

Avoice, I'm sorry you haven't been able to find closure with your father. Maybe he's in his own prison in his mind. My father is still out of prison but I can see the walls that confine him to his terrible life and mind and think his outcome now is much worse than if he had gone to jail.

And another one...

Dear abuser;
The moment my mom kicked you out of the house remains to this day one of the top 2 happiest days of my life. Because of you, there are many many many childhood memories I have lost, memories I should have had but did not because of you. I spent more time in darkness, more time in my own world to hide from you. It wasn't bad enough having my father treat me the way he did, you had to make sure to leave your mark on me as well. I don't know what you did, I don't know how far things went... But I do know YOU WERE WRONG!!! All the times you told me, while I curled in a ball on my bed tears streaming down, it was my fault. I should not have upset you so but you were sorry. "Please don't tell your mom, she will hate me" those words were said too often in our home. I don't know what you did. I don't know if I will ever know the extent of it but I know it's there. I know it wasn't right, you were wrong! You took an entire year from me!!!! You took every memory from me when I was 5 years old. If I ever learned of what you did in that time, what you did for the 7 years you were around, if those black moments were filled with the memories of what you did to me, I might just have the urge to kill you! You are lucky that my memories are hidden from me. You used your strength to take charge of me, to hurt me in unspeakable ways. But that strength has left you, and I am no longer afraid of you. You were the darkest part of my childhood. Even my father, as warped a mind as he had, could not cause the damage you caused to me.

You are pathetic! You are worthless and you are useless! You are the very definition of a psychotic creep!!!! You deserve the prison you are in, you deserve the hole you dug and the misery that eats you today. I know you feel nothing for what you did to me, you never will, but I also know I have a chance to be a good person. I have the chance at happiness and love and my life is full of more color and life than yours. I will never take what you took from me, I will never show a child an ounce of the pain you showed me. You are sick! You are an awful man and if I ever happen to cross your path again, you can expect a very quick and hard blow to your personal member, one that will bring you to your knees and stop you from hurting another girl again. I will break it, I will make is useless and unworking. I will get the vengeance I deserve and I will take from you the very thing you used to hurt me. You will never be able to hurt another.

You disgust me, if there were any one person in this world I could hate it would be you. But I wont let you doom me to hell. But if I ever see you again, you can expect a baseball bat going right your way. You will one day get what you deserve. And I can only hope that I get to be the one to make you pay.