Hurting-Posting too much?

Triggered a few days ago and can barely see the light. I'm feeling so little and young and vulnerable and hurt. Don't know how I can handle it. I'm a seasoned controller of my emotions so when I do get overwhelmed it is so painful. I'm used to fighting it off and my therapist is so good and I like her so much and I miss her so much. I don't know how I can make it without her caring or without seeing or without talking to her until the next time. It feels hopeless. It feels like I will never be able to face the pain and that I will never be able to not feel so wounded and crushed. My strong self shows so nobody except T and 1 email friend and here now. It is lonely to think that everyone thinks I'm doing great. I don't understand that at all. It seems like it would feel great to have people think I'm so strong. I've been so strong all the time that it feels like I should be allowed to need help.

Sounds like you are making a transition here to allowing yourself to feel but it feels so foreign to you? Can you call your T? You are allowed to need help. You just need to be able to feel that it is okay?

This must be hard but the pain will pass. You will be able to find your strength. Hang in there.

Opening up and admitting that we aren't always strong isn't easy but can also be a great thing. It releases you from the chains. We tend to live in a society where asking for help is seen as weakness but really admitting your vulnerabilities is such an amazing strength. You definitely do deserve to get the help you want.

I agree with Sannah that it seems you are struggling to allow yourself to feel. Take is slowly Seek out help when you can from your therapist or here.

You can do this

Showing our vulnerabilities can be painful and risky. I am glad there are support groups, too, esp for when our therapists are not available all the time, or we can't afford it.

For me, the trick is to find the people who will not take advantage of that vulnerability. Still, it's scary to feel so vulnerable.

I am glad you talked.

Carol

((Little Me)),

I have dealt with this many times myself. And what I learned in therapy and time is that these "feeling so young and vulnerable feelings" are the hurt parts of me from my past "surfacing". I honestly did'nt even know I had these things hidden so deep in me. And I felt alot like you at first, and I didn't know what to do with it. But then after things bubbled up and I began to realize what they were about and talked about them in therapy, I slowly worked through them. These childhood troubles that come forward "are' parts of you that you never were able to address or understand. As you work through them, and I know they can be unsettling, you will begin to feel better.

With me, some of these things that have surfaced and very sad, and I can feel that little girl just as I did at that age. But, you know what? Now you are finally "old enough" and "strong enough" to quiet her and comfort her. And each time you do that you will feel better. It takes time, be patient you can work your way through this.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

I hear you. Thanks. Tough days. Quite difficult and worried about some of my choices.

Haven't known what to say been having a rough time. Managing but so down, down in my body and kind of numb at the same time. Horrible. I had a couple of good tough appointments this week. Despairing at times, so up and down.

I thought about you the other day and wondered how you are doing because you haven't posted. It is hard to dig through all of this stuff but if you keep working it will pass.

Thanks for thinking of me. I haven't made enough of a splash here I suppose to really be missed by too many people. I was so overwhelmed didn't know what to write. AND...... was feeling like I just don't want to be posting about how hard things are. I don't want to be so predictable and boring. Rough day today. My mother inlaw passed away today suddenly. She had breast cancer that completely had spread everywhere. She never had tests or preventative medicine done. Seems such a shame. So sad about it. She was such a loving person just not a 21st century woman. They are in TX and I am here so I am separated from everyone in sharing the loss.

My aunt passed away, too, of b cancer, 4 years ago.

Sorry to hear.

Carol

I can't speak for others, but I definitely notice you here Please never feel bad about posting when you are struggling. This forum is a place for support when we all need it. We all have hard times and this is a safe place to come where you shouldn't be judged or turned away.

I am sorry to hear of your mother in law. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and your family right now. I know it's hard to believe now but in time the pain will start to ease. I always found, even in the sad times, try to focus on the good - the good memories you had of her and the person that she was. That still lives on in her family, friends and all of those who she has interacted with in her life. I am sorry that there aren't words that can take the pain away but wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family in this very difficult time.

Thanks mazing.