Memory lane...

I had a rather hard week, and to top it off I saw someone I did not want to see. I was in the pharmacy the other day waiting for my prescription and when I turned around, my abuser was standing right behind me. He was so non-chalant and acted as though everything was normal, he even greeted me politely! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that the man standing there was dangerous! What made it worse was that I had to wait very long for my meds because their system was offline. I had never relived the event so vividly as I did then. I didn't know what to do! He was so nice to the pharmacist and everyone else which just made everything worse. If I had a weapon I probably would have used it that day. I became so angry at this man who still has a normal life while he is wrecking others. And this is probably the one good thing that came out of the whole day, I progressed to anger. I want to hunt him down and make him pay, I never will, but that's the way I feel. Is it normal to feel like this all of the time?

what an awful thing to happen.
Safe hugs if ok {{{tanya)))

Thanks heartspace.

((((((((((( TanyaGrave ))))))))))))))
Im so sorry for what you experienced.
If I was in your position, I would have broken down right there.
So you are very tough.
I hope you feel safe.
-Megan-

well, what can i say...you showed immense strength, so be proud of yourself Tanya.

Seeing our abuser is always going to be hard, as it will force us to re-live the abuse we suffered.

I think it is wrong that people like him are able to speak politely and normally to their victims after ruining their life, it just shows that they have no guilt or remorse for what they did.

From talking to you through posts etc i have learnt that you are a brave character, and you are strong, and this situation shows your strength. i am proud of you.

Anger is a common emotion when confronted witht his situation, and it is very understandable that you want to hunt him down and make him pay. the victim of abuse usually grows to hate the abuser and wants to gain revenge for the pain they caused. it is normal to feel like this when you think about him and what happened. especially when you see him in person.

Try to move on from this encounter, they are few and far between and each time you see him your strength will rise, and the anger will slowly fade. it will never go away entirely but it will get easier.

Take care Tanya, and im here if you need me, anytime.

Simon

Thank you damajdamcer and Simon.
It's good to hear someone say that I'm strong, because I feel so weak all the time. It helps to talk about it and I appreciate your input. I hope I can do the same for you in the future.

After seeing this person again I have started to have extreme nightmares. I don't really know if it's related because I have been under a lot of stress lately. The weird thing for me is that the nightmares have nothing to do with the abuse or my past, it's just random stuff but still so terrifying that I wake up sweating and ready to scream. I don't think it's night terrors though... I don't know. What's the difference between a very bad nightmare and a nightterror? What can I do to stop it?

I don' t know the dif. but i agree with the statment that you are strong, the more i read the more i see it.
((((tanya))))))

Thank you vanman!

{{{{{Tanya}}}}}}}} The Big difference is that when you have a night terror, you don't even realize it, I don't dream about anything and somebody else (if you live with anybody) is usually who awakes you because they hear you screaming but you don't recall anything bad happening during your sleep.
So sorry you had to see him, let me know where he is and I'l go kick him~

You'd have to fly many miles to kick his behind, but thanks.... I have another question though, can you have a night terror and not scream and just kind of tense up and sweat?

mmm, never had one like that, i don't know. Everytime I had one I scream like somebody was killing me and I wasn't even realizing how horrific that sounded, if it wasn't for my mother or brother (when I was single) and later for my husband I wouldn't know.

But i find this link that migth help a bit to understand what are some of the differences.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000809.htm

<font color="purple"> </font> hi pixie

I spoke to you today in the chat room and I felt comfortable and you make me laugh. I was abused too, and it was by someone in authority, he was having an affair with my mum too. This all happened from when I was really little, and I still want to hunt him down, I'm not saying this will never change, but I feel as though I ned proper help now. I don't seem to have spoken to anyone who can help me yet, that's all. I'm waiting to see a psychiatrist. 2 year waiting list!! But hey, I've waited this long. I don't want to trigger anything, so I won't say alot at this stage. Please pm me if you ever need to, maybe we can help each other out a little. or alot. Thank you for your words too, on my forum. It meant a lot to me. Take care (((((warm hug))))jinny xx ps i think that you are v v strong to have coped in that situation. I really don't know how I'd cope if I saw my abuser again xx

Sorry Pixie. I know that was rough. Anger is only natural under the circumstances. Always happy to talk to you any time you need me. BIG E-HUG Sincerely, Cajun

This feels ages ago... I actually wanna thank you for digging this up jinn, it made me realise how far I've come these last few months... Still have the nightmares though...

((((((( Jinn )))))))

((((((( cajun )))))))

Thank you for your kind words and support... feel free to discuss anything with me jinn, I only have two requests in my thread... to type these words r*pe and s*tan always with a *....

2 years is a looong wait... is it two years from now???