I'm getting some bad memories (dont know what to think)

Im getting scary memories and it always gets worse around oct.cause when we first come to nyc when I was 8 my mother
hooked up with this group I remember that I drank a sweet coconut-like drink that made me feel sleepy,it was every weekend these ppl went out I always had to come.I remember alot of kids,most girls, we had to locked up in a room
I dont remember much more in the end alot of ppl got arrested all at once for what they was doing I daydreamed
I put myself in a safe place in my mind I was opperateing on autopilot, I remember being very frightened but of what I dont know I hate oct. My therapist wanted to explore the issues further and have me hypnotized, I chickend out I didnt wanna know.that was 7 years ago and I Know alot more.

(((((((( tita ))))))))

That sounds horrifying... I take it it was some kind of cult? Isn't it better to get it all out under hypnosis instead of remembering it bit by bit and breaking down everytime? It's like a band aid, the slower you take it off the longer it hurts, but if you rip it of it only hurts once!

hi
Oct. is hard for me to. I am also having bad memory problems coming up. I was thinking that it might be a cult as well. I dont like hypnosis and i have a problem with it because i am to nervous to do it. i am afraid of what is going to happen .i constantly have to be on guard. I think knowing takes time and when your mind is ready the memories will come. exploring it sounds like a good idea though. may be you Therpaist can find a different way of doing that with you.

I'm sorry you are are going through a hard time right now. Can you try to assiciate October with something other than the trauma? The leaves are changing and it's beautiful. Nothing was your fault ever so for every bad memory make it beautiful. The memories are very important. They are your past and what sounds like a bit of your present right now. Can you talk abut them in therapy? Write them down maybe? Take care.

I really try to keep My mind on anyything but the past, I'm dealing with alot of pyisical problems and severe depression
as well I try to keep positive but its hard I live in a nursing home so I cant evan get out to go take a bus to go upstate NY im in the Bronx not alot of trees and I journel all the time,the Thearapist I have now aint so good cause we
just dont get along I miss My old therapist I give her a call once every few weeks and we talk for about 45 min. I would be lost without that help,(She called me tonite cause she knows how much of a hard time I have in oct.)I dont like how I feel anyhow.