How is ONE not Effected?

How does ONE not become Effected?

This thought is often in my mind and I really do not know how to let go - to NOT let my past, the awful truth behind and in my abuse effect me any longer.... How does one continue on in LIFE when the memories of the h*ll you lived through (11 long years) haunts you in ever other TV Show, Magazine, Internet, Marriage, Daily Living and in their Eyes (the sick wanting eyes)?

Rhapsody -

((((hugs))))

Big e-hug for Rhapsody. I wish I had all of the answers for you. Just know that there are people here that care and are willing to help. You are not alone. Many people here are struggling with similar deamons. I sincerely hope you are in Therapy. If not, please consider it. I will say a special prayer for you. Your Friend, Cajun

Thank YOU for the reply...... and while I spent eight straight years in therapy - I am without a T at the present moment.... we both felt that I was ready to step out on my own to make life work again, learning more as I go along the path set before me.

If one was to ask ME -
I personally do not believe that any sexually abused child / person will ever be 100% without effects of the abuse interfering in their present life.... this type of abuse just seems to dig deep and attach its self to your core being..... especially when repeated and repeated over time - and with a sick mind of the abuser.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I have a pacific QUESTION..................?

How is one to learn not to HATE the mere mention or thought of PORN..... when as a child you where continuously being subjected to the sickness of PORN through sexual abuse - for one two or even three of your abusers were addicted to PORN and they became sexually stirred (driven) at forcing these sick unspeakable sex scenes / images upon an innocent child?

YOU tell ME............. How is one NOT to allow years of this perverted sickness to affect them as an adult? - as one has so cruelly and unloving stated.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Hi Rhapsody,

I'm still not free or believe I'll ever be free of the effects of sexual abuse. I've had years of therapy and still feel as if there is an indelible stain that is resistant to any attempts at removal. It's a haunting feeling that lingers and holds on tight in the background of my mind.

I hear you and empathize with what you have expressed here.

Calm

((((((( Rhap ))))))))

I am so sorry that it is so hard for you... What you say/think is right... you will never be the same person... you are changed. But this need not be such a negative thing... It is unfortunately a part of your past and has shaped you in some ways... ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE... I have used this analogy a lot, but I want to post it again...

When you get hurt it leaves a wound, the deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal, and if you do not look after it properly it will begin to fester... But with proper care the wound will heal and will become less and less sensitive... untill you are only left with the scar... yes, there will be a scar... but it should not hurt anymore...

Maybe you are experiencing this torment because you are not ready to quit therapy?

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JustAPixie said:
Maybe you are experiencing this torment because you are not ready to quit therapy?

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Hmm -

IMHO - I do not believe this is the reason that I am still haunted/tormented by my past..... and as I was told by two different professionals - Some NEVER totally HEAL from the wounds of such HORROR, they will forever have a piece of this evil attached to their Inner Soul.

Sad so Sad,
Rhapsody -

Rhapsody-

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
How is one to learn not to HATE the mere mention or thought of PORN

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> hey--this is totally my opinion-- but, I truly believe that one doesn't ever have learn to not HATE porn!! It's degrading, oppressive towards women and makes a mockery of what should be a beautiful thing shared privately between two people that truly care about each other!!

There I've said it. -- You can HATE it with a passion like I do --as far as I'm concerned!

---** a side note**--- I'm not religious at all, in case anyone wonders-- I don't believe in organized religion. I believe it comes from the heart and that we should treat all people as if they were a God visiting here on earth, to experience the kind of person each one of us is.

Rhapsody-- I hear your pain and I'm so sorry and wish I could take it away. Please know I'm here and I care.

mandy

Thank YOU ever sooooooooooooooooooo Much........ ((( hugs )))

I am just so tired of people telling ME to get over it, for guys will always look, and yet it is not just the fact that males have a strong tendency to look at the naked female body, but that they take away from the ones they love when they do this act and that some (like the ones I have spoken of) will tend to see all females (young & old) as the objects they view when they take in porn and some will even go as far to act out these sick fantasies of theirs with another - usually a female.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((( Rhap ))))))))

Rhapsody,

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I am just so tired of people telling ME to get over it, for guys will always look

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Well- this is my opinion again--- which will probably get me in trouble-- but I do believe that someone needs to be an advocate-- here goes: I truly believe that guys will "look" as long as we as a culture are willing to accept that! If the culture wouldn't accept it-- it would not be nearly as prevalent. All this crock about men being "visual" creatures that "can't help themselves"-- is bull!(IMO) We are NOT the predators and them the vicitims!! Their brains work just like a females and culture has forced us to control our impulses-- so I think they are just as capable--or are women that much more evolved?-- I don't think so!

Something to think about.....oh, can I post this??
**-- Why, if ojectifying women is so acceptable in modern culture -- then, why aren't women regarded highly and with respect at strip clubs? Why are those places called "Gentlemens Clubs" where "gentlemen" go, but yet the women that work in them are often labled-- "tramps" and I won't even go into the more abusive names. Why is that? It's acceptable for one gender and not the other??..........

This really hits a nerve with me! I'm tired of women being degraded and blamed for the cultures ignorance and selfishness.

***-- I understand and know that there are men who don't partake in such primitive and degrading behavior-- they are what keeps me holding on to the goodness in humanity.

Rhapsody-- there are men out there that don't accept this behavior, sadly-- they're just very silent. (some reading here are probably thinking-- "Yea, they are the gay ones"-- NO!!-- there are straight men that don't accept objectifying another human being!)

I think the way to get some relief from being so upset may be to distract one's focus-- perhaps helping at an animal shelter, or volunteer at a woman's shelter-- it helps immensely to see just how many people have good hearts-- the one's that give and care. I'm not implying to get over your upset--- just lessen the focus for your own peace of mind. I'll never get over it-- and I would not expect you to.

I understand you and your pain-- if it would help, you can PM me and vent all you want.

Rhapsody-


mandy

Thank YOU again...... for saying what I feel as well, but for some reason if I was to state exactly what you just did - I would be jumped on by a few others that disagree with my opinion, sad but true.
.... and yet I know not why?

and YES - I do partake of several things that can take my sad thoughts away and place them on many more important matters.... it is not that I constantly dwell on these thoughts (well, not any more) - it is just that I cannot seem to make them vanish and to leave me and my life alone.
... I desire FREEDOM and yet ANOTHER (4 males) have already seen to it that I will NOT.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
it is just that I cannot seem to make them vanish and to leave me and my life alone.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

You can't imagine how much I DO understand this....... I'm the same..... for me- sometimes I can escape from it for a bit then -wham!! it's back, tormenting me and trying to bring me to such a low and dark place.

I'm usually very silent when I'm feeling the "upset", as my past was such that I would be emotionally and sometimes physically abused for voicing my feelings. It can be difficult to express myself, as the memories bring back the fear of pain.
But sometimes-- helping someone else, like you, causes me to ignore that fear, reach out and give those feelings a voice.

I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it at the moment and that the past can sometimes be such a heavy weight.

mandy

This past weekend has left ME feeling like this....

(((((((( Rhapsody ))))))))

Hello Rhapsody,

I've asked myself this question, and asked others for answers, and I've searched for answers, and prayed, and meditated, and exercised, and wrote, and read, and been an addict, and come up with ways to kill myself, and screamed, and tore up paper, and burnt candles, and cried, and cried some more. I want peace. And I'm still working on it. And I'm not giving up for one reason -- it wouldn't be fair to give myself up forever to those monsters who stole me and used me like meat. And so I pray for the heart to conquer my pain.

One day, I'll be a giant and I will crush them.

mtd

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Oh - How I do ever so relate....
It was as though you were inside my head & feeling my heart as you spoke those words....... We are STRONG!!!


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I saw some thing by accident and this is how it left ME feeling....

... I NEVER knew it existed ? ! ? ! ? ! ?


Rhapsody -

Sorry whatever it was made you feel that way. I don't know what it was that triggered your reaction but I can relate.

Stay safe,
Calm