ok here goes...

multipixie9 · 02:42 AM

Hi Blue,

I'm fairly new here, saw a few posts on this thread. Just want to say I'm glad you found a safe place to be.

I did not read too many posts due to triggers, but your fatigue, panic feelings, loss of interest in things is because of all the stress and long term pain and fear. As horrible as it sounds - you are responding just like anyone who's been through this long ordeal. You are not weirder or weaker than anyone else, you are just tired of the whole miserable deal and want to feel safe and healthy. That shows how sane you are, you have survived and I honestly know that you will heal, in time.

I respect you and think you have been really smart to get on PC and talk some things out with others. I'm in my 50's, if I'd started getting stuff out when I was a teen, if I had been able to talk to someone and know what you know I think maybe it would not have taken me so long to get as healed as I am. So, you are on this thing sooner, not later and that is GOOD.

Healing ALWAYS takes longer than we wish it did, but it IS always worth the hard work. All the Best to you and your Brother!

leslie

iamtwilight · Oct 01, 2008, 06:25 AM

hey blue,

i read the first few pages and last few pages of your thread, and i hope everything works out well for you. how are things at the new place?

twilight

Blue93 · Oct 01, 2008, 10:45 AM

new place is ok..

nowheretorun · Oct 01, 2008, 04:16 PM

hope the situation is better for you Blue, letting you know i care...

Greg77733 · Oct 02, 2008, 08:30 AM

Hey Blue, I am a 47 yr. old male, when I was young I was raped. You need to go the police and tell them the whole story and that you and your brother has been threanted. That the crap is still going on, trust me they will move you and brother to a safe place and arresst those s.o.b.'s You have to take care of self!!!! Please do it today!!!! Take care,Greg

Blue93 · Oct 02, 2008, 11:11 AM

i'm not going to the police again, there is no point.
people keep trying to tell me you're safe now, nothing will happen anymore and so on
been wrong every time
they cant catch em all anyway
hell i dont even know all of them
we're safe for now.. until they find us again
i try to not think to much about that

iamtwilight · Oct 02, 2008, 02:09 PM

(((blue)))

i read some more pages from your thread and it all sounds so horrible

(though you probably know this and hear it all the time)

what is the legal age in NL? my partner lived there when he was younger, he says the legal age is 16? (i'm not sure though) can you move out of country then? would they still find you? do your new foster parents know about the abuse? maybe someone could make arrangements for you to get the heck out of there.

sorry if its too much questions. don't answer any you don't want to, i understand. been through some similar things as a very little child, but at your age i was unaware of it and lived a happy life.

oh, i wish i could give that to you.

insecurity is the worst feeling, especially when you should have a safe developing environment. glad you are safe now, be gentle with you.

many safe hugs,
twilight

Blue93 · Oct 02, 2008, 02:16 PM

its 18... then you become an adult and can make decisions for yourself, live on your own and stuff
i have a brother, he's 13 i wouldnt move to far away from him esp not out of the country
i dont know if they could find me there i dont think they would go trough that much trouble but who knows
yes fosterparents know about the abuse... fosterparents get updated by s&s about the kids background and stuff before they decide if they will take u in or not
so does school... well some of it anyway.

blue

iamtwilight · Oct 02, 2008, 02:29 PM

ahhh. couldn't your brother go with you, you as his caregiver when you are 18?
i don't think they would go through that trouble either.

well, if all is ok now, then let's focus on that and not make you feel worse.

twilight

Blue93 · Oct 02, 2008, 04:31 PM

its ok... dont worry it doesnt matter
im used to it after all? or something.. or at least i should be
cant change it if its going to happen again anyway

blue

Justgiving · Oct 06, 2008, 07:51 PM

((((((((((Blue)))))))))))

Katy1306 · Oct 08, 2008, 08:54 PM

please! break the silence. they are threatening you as a tool to keep you quiet. tell anyone you can! if they don't believe you, tell another person, and another person. someone WILL believe you. and once that someone listens and then finds out you've told others who would not listen, they can compare stories and realize you were not lying or making this up. they will take you seriously. please don't give up! you'll be helping you and your brother! please take care

Blue93 · Oct 09, 2008, 05:46 AM

Its not that they dont believe me thats not the problem..
it's just i can keep telling the police everytime something happens...
but that won't stop it
even if they can arrest them, there will be another one and so on..
It's just pointless and i dont want to go trough the police questionings and stuff and all that stuff again.. There's no point

Blue

iamtwilight · Oct 10, 2008, 12:44 PM

(((blue))) just dropped by to see how you were.

hurtingintn · Oct 13, 2008, 09:06 AM

i am totally in loss for words here blue..i cant understand why they wont do something more to protect you and your brother..i wish i could just scoop both of you up and bring you to the US and adopt you both and give you a very safe and secure home..i wouldnt want to be them if they ever ever EVER tried to come to my home and harm you two..if there is ever anything i can do to help, talk or whatever please let me know..my heart goes out to you and your brother

Blue93 · Oct 13, 2008, 06:28 PM

well i guess u understand why i dont really see the point of talking to the police about it anymore

SophiaG · Oct 14, 2008, 06:43 PM

Blue its taken me a few days to read the whole thread and i just want to say ((hug))

You shouldnt have to go through this. I think...in a way you will be ok though because i dont think you'll turn out to be like your abusers. You have compassion and love for other people...unlike them..

I pray that your brother's chemotherapy will work and that you'll find the love that you most deserve and need in life.

Luce · Dec 08, 2013, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue93

I never thought I would even try and post this, a day after coming here, but anyway... here goes.
Some history info so you all understand what I'm talking about.. Triggers for s. and physical abuse.

So I am Blue. I'm 14, male if you hadnt guessed so already... Have a younger brother.
We're in different fosterfamilies now. As of since beginning of this schoolyear.
This cause of my father.. and his friends. He has always hit us since as long as I can remember.
He has also been... s.abusing me... since i was like 5 or so. And he'd invite his friends over too whenever he felt like it. *ok deep breath*
He went to far though last summerholiday and I've been in the hosp 3 times that summer first for neglected broken wrist then for neglected internal bleedings then for neglected infection.
My father did get arrested.. Somehow the 2nd time I was in the hosp they figured out he'd been s.abusing me.
My mother kept allowing his friends into the house so nothing really changed.. So when I told social services about that they put me and my brother in fostercare.
Hoping anything would change... of course it didnt. Except now me and my brother have been seperated from eachother and i only get to see him for a day and a half or so every other week. His .. friends... found me and have been going on like they used too.
I know everyone will tell me to go tell someone, your fosterparents, police, school, social services...
They've been threatening me though... telling me what they would do to me and worse... to my brother.. I know they will i've known them long enough to know they are capable of this stuff. And they found us this time so why wouldnt they find us again if ss would move us, ya know?
So even though everyone's trying to make me tell ss or anyone... I don't know. I'm to scared of what will happen if i do..

ok... enough for now. ok here goes...

Blue

Did anybody ever figure out what happened to Blue?

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