ok here goes...

couldn't help myself Onz... ((((((Onz)))))

Hi Onzichtbaar,

Thanks for your reply.
If you hadn't told me I would have known you were probably from belgium or the netherlands as well, your name kinda gives it away.
About the other stuff.. thanks for your concern and everything... But right now i just dont see a way of getting out of this without putting my brother in big risks.. and myself too.
Most adults will want to do the 'right thing' wich is informing youthcare or the police or something, in their eyes... Wich i dont want to happen, i just dont wanna take the risk.. I have heard of the riagg, the crisisdienst I dont know. Doesnt the riagg have another name nowadays, or did it not change everywhere. Well anyway.. thanks again but like i said i just dont wanna take those risks..

Blue

blue, the last thing we want is for you to feel harrassed by us also.. thanks for letting us be concerned and try to help you, its what we each want to do and its not to make you feel bad, ok?

relax... take it easy... i for one want you to feel welcome here... sorry if ive doneanything out of line... we just care, ok?

we cant make you do something, but we can be here for you....

no you didnt do anything wrong, don't worry.
I appreciate you're trying to help and everything
thanks for that and for caring

Blue

Thanks for the hugs Nowheretorun, that was sweet

Blue, I just want to reiterate what NWTR wrote - I wasn't intending to pressure you, just offering my help. I know you're in a very difficult situation.

Onzichtbaar

(((((Onz))))) .... ((((Blue93)))

(((blue))))

its just.. i dont know
Sometimes i feel like i need to talk about it but .. I cant.
Like if i do i trigger myself so bad... but if i dont i feel like exploding. so i go into chat or something but end up saying nothing anyway. like i want to talk... but i dont wanna
I wanna talk... sorta... but can't..
esp on those days something happened... and all i got to look forward to seems to be another day with more of.. that..

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

appereantly one of the kids at my brother's place stole some money from the fosters... and now they're having them all grounded until they either find out who did it or that person confesses. Wich means also i'm not allowed to come! I was so looking forward to it.. The weekend was horrible I really needed to just see him...
Argh. I can't believe this. I'm so pissed to make a big understatement!

Blue

its good to get out how you feel blue... wishing i could do more... i'm listening...

yeah... i was just so so upset...was.. am... I can't do this alone.. i dont know its just crap. %@#$%^%# life $$#%&#$#@@ all of this

hang in there bud, i hear about it being tuff and i'm not a survivor of the same things as you blue... the things that've happened to you, are happeneing to you are things that should never happen to anyone, and no one should ever have to learn to be strong enough to live through them, and i'm shamed as a human that this is going on and no one can do anything to help you right now...

its not because we couldnt, or wouldnt blue... you could be given a medal for how strong you're trying to make yourself be with this, but thats not the way it works either... the medal you recieve is when you take of you first, then your brother...

by surviving you give yourself and your brother the very best chances to become stronger through your trials and the opprtunity to change your life around and become strong giving men who change and shape the world simply by not falling into the hell thats been lain open before you... and instead become decent, kind, caring and loving fathers and friends in your own times...

you have an undeniable strength and will to carry on and do the right, good thing... its admirable in even a grown man but here you are are at this young age exhibiting manly depth and generosity...

blue, what is on your plate is an extraordinary amount of dark smelly matter that is inhuman for anyone to tolerate...

know that i care and wish like you may not be able to imagine, that this nightmare ends for you soon in a way that all you hope for is left intact and put at your door...

you may need to risk telling someone to get thru this my friend... i know its not what you want to hear, but, i'm just saying...

there was pils.. again.. i feel afwfull right now but i guess it will be ok eventually again.. like last time just.. pff..

you'd think they'd learn from the last time... id even told them i said if i get sick again they are gonna suspect something... they didnt wanna hear it... hit me instead
I just hope it wont be anything like last time cause i was sick for 2 weeks, they, my fosters would definitely drag me to the hosp or the doctor or something if i get sick like that again.. they cant find out i cant risk it

blue

rise above it blue... ok, youre a guy, im a guy, but im still gonna give you hugs, ok? stay alive buddy... (((blue)))

I got the cast taken of my leg today.
Got this walking cast, gyps instead for about 2 weeks now.
My fosters freaked cause i'm throwing up again and so they called the doctor and to calm them down i guess he had us come to draw blood before we were going to the hospital for the cast... I hope it doesnt show anything. Cause how would i explain that.. ugh
But maybe ill be panicking over nothing maybe it cant show anything anymore it was yesterday after all..

blue

((((Blue)))

i feeling horible now..
they was here again thir morning ad bleeding now and throw up blood and i dont know i dont know what tod o i dont want them to know but i dont wanna go to ic neither like when in summer but i dont know .. srry srry

my fostermother catched me throwing up blood... obviously she freaked and took me to the hosp right away..
So now im hooked op to an iv with something and well.. they figured out about the s.abuse too... it was awfull
I'm so scared..
thankfully they brought me my laptop and i got internet here.
I can maybe get out of the hosp tomorrow or sunday if they have a place for us to stay.. Im already dreading all of the questions.. im just scared of whats going to happen now

blue

Blue, I read this thread everyday and I never know what to say. What you're going through, it leaves me stunned and sad.

I'm thinking of you and if there's ever anything I can do, let me know.

Cyran0

Appereantly they think its alright for us to go back to where we used to live now, all of a sudden? Just yesterday they were talking about moving us etc... Why won't they listen? I told them what would happen if they would go trough with their plans... If THEY find out we've talked.. wheter that was because we wanted to or because they had found out already anyway.. They found us here, didn't they? And they think it's safe to let us stay here? Where they already know we life? I don't want to hear anyone else saying 'it will be fine, don't worry' or anything like that cause ugh! It won't be fine! I can't believe they are doing this to us... They NEVER listen! What? Because I am 14? and they are adults so they 'must know better'? Well this is ME you are talking about! I've lived trough this hell my whole life and now you are trying to tell me all of my fears aren't rational and 'calm down, it will be alright, don't worry so much' ?
UGH I can't believe this! Do they want something worse to happen? Maybe one of us needs to die before they will listen? I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!
They are sending me home tomorrow.. My brother can finally live here too though... that's good... I just cant believe they are ignoring me like this... did i speak chinese or what? sorry for ranting... but... this is just unbelievable..

blue

ok.. i'm home now. Sentenced to bedrest though till doctor says i can get out of bed.
I'm more concerned about the police questioning tomorrow though... And i don't want my brother to go to school alone...
They could kidnap him way to easily... Not that i could really defend him that well... but yeah... i'd be sooooooo worried until he'd gotten home again safely... ugh...
I wish they would listen to us..

Blue

wish i could send the possee over to break you out blue, well, i guess that only happens in movies..

take care my friend...

thx.. just eating myself up worrying.. You all thanks for listening though, means a lot.

Blue

(((((Blue)))))