ok here goes...

hate to put it this way blue, but, what if you dont call, and things get worse? you'll wish you had..

call so you can get the information ready.... you might need it quick at some point, and, this way you'll have it...

you dont have to do anything yet.... just get ready to... are you following me? your brother is depending on you...

better safe than sorry...

believe in yourself blue.... believe in the chance that this is all gonna work out...

give yourself and your brother the best chance....

they'll say tell the cops..tell ss, tell a teacher at school... that's all the advice they ever have

ive tried that before you knwo.. getting advice. but thats all they ever say, you must tell someone

blue, its because we all have your safety at heart... this isnt to make you uncomfortable... we care..

ther were alternative numbers back in the thread... yes, i know, it eventually comes down to the locals, but, if you start at a point outside the local system, the larger, over-seeing body may make things different this time...

thats all we're hoping here blue... many of us are powerless to do this for you, you have to be the one to do it, and you can if you choose...

dont get me wrong... i love seeing you here, and its the fear of not knowing when you dont come by, that i worry about you..

you have the choice and the power.... just wish the best for you and hate to see this suffering... but i will still be here for you anytime...

it was always useless telling someone
all that happens is more horrible tests in hosp and another 100 questions by police again
And then I get to wait and be scared till it all just starts again.. Sometimes the waiting and being afraid and knowing whats gonna happen is worse then being in the middle of it.. Sounds stupid maybe, but i just dont wanna go trough that all again.. with zero effect every time.
This aint the first time we were in fosterfamilies.. cept last times they just had us go back to our parents again but they wont do that anymore this time.. thats all the difference.. If i hadnt told we coulda at least have stayed home with dad in the jail it would have been much better then being afraid of being split up with my brother all the time.. moving all the time and no soccer and different schools all the time. sure she would allow them to come over still but thats no difference from now..
I understand that if youre not in the situation it seems logical that the best solution is to call the police or whatever but it just isnt that simple

Blue

listen blue... you're not stupid... im sorry you havent been given proper help...

this choice is yours... i'm going to tell you tho, for your own good...

dont let yourself be the last resort... dont take the weight of whats going on upon yourself... you didnt invent it or apply for it...

its obvious how much you care for your brother... but, the burden is not yours to bear... if something goes badly now, you will not want to wear the burden, and you shouldnt have to...

grown-ups are supposed to protect kids... i dont know how this is breaking down there... strange things happen and thats all im going to say...

but, while you can change things, also, accept that you are in a tuff and unusual position... you are setting yourself up to be the martyr...

while thats romantic, in reality, its a waste... you can live and fight for your brother, you dont need to go down in flames on his account... its not what he'd want...

ive put a little pressure on you... i'm sorry... please dont stop coming here...

i dont know what a martyr is
but i dont wanna go down with flames for him
a dead me is no good for him either'
but im jsut saying
sometimes its just not worth it to go trough all of that stuff again that you have to do if you would tell only to find out that a few weeks or months later it all starts over again anyways..
Well either way i know you're all not gonna agree with me but thats just how i see it
sorry if i let anyone down

blue

nope blue, you havent let us down...

feel like giving up

you cannot give up blue... theres nothing there for you... hang on buddy...

they made picturs..
feel disgusting

(((blue))))
you are not disgusting
This is not your fault

thx.. just feels like it you know.. o wel.

There was the others again this morning..
Well they were mad at me for something.. appereantly they thought I had been talking to someone about something.. Even though i didnt ive got no clue what they were talking about . I guess fosters understood that too after a while for they stopped screaming at me..
They put something on the burns on my back.. dont know what it is but it hurts like hell
Some of it got in my eye and now that hurts even more
tearing and cant see properly with it
They wont give me water to wash it out
I cant do anything cause they locked me and my brother in our rooms when they left the house a hour ago or so..
no phone. I don;t know what to do
it hurts and burns like hell

i feel so dumb

i got to wash it of and out now, some.. but only cause fosters got home and he made me shower with him... dont got to explain the rest i guess.. :/ sorry

<font color="purple">You aren't disgusting
Or dumb,
Or what they may tell you
Or what you feel you are yourself.
You are so very strong,
and so kind to your brother
The only ones at fault are those,
sick and twisted people you have to live with
and the people who put you there. </font>

yeah i guess.
just feels like it sometimes
nobody even cares enough to really help us
whenever i say something about being worried that they will find us again they wave it of as if im paranoid or something
And then im right and it happens again and they still dont care
If it werent for my brother i dunno if id be around still
just so hard sometimes
i just feel dirty and i dunno.. empty or down or whatever it is

Ugh it’s gotten worse instead of better..
It looks horrible when I look in the mirror and my brother says it looks scary. Kept me awake this night too and the burns don’t look pretty either. Fosters not home cause they are at work so I’m gonna sneak out now with my brother and take the bus to the hosp so they can look at it.
I dunno why they didnt lock us in today but did, yesterday. I’m just glad im not gonna have to fall out of the window ‘vince style’ (ledgewood) to get out.
I’m scared though I can’t see with it at all, if my brother waves his finger in front of it I can’t see that. Am hoping its not that worse but just a bad infection though but it hurts like hell!

Blue

((((blue))))) ...

they said i might go blind with it.. but at least 'just' partially

((( BLUE )))

I'm glad you didn't end up having to leap out the window But about the eye man... I'm so sorry... we're all here for you.

thx
more tests today

(((((((blue))))))))) i hope things get better. i am so sorry that you have to go through this. it is so horrible. take care my dear.

LUCAS LET ME ADOPT YOU AND YOUR BRO PLEASEEEEEE
i would i would i woulddddd.....
i hate being 15
frig it i would adopt both of u just like that, u are a lovely kid and u 2 need a nice family
would u want me to be your e.mom instead? i can do that. ill be your bros emom too
(((hugs)))
take care kiddo
dot

thanks