[LyDiaHate]

Hey.
I Have only Had sex about five times..and everytime is has hurt so bad i could cry :S
I Have always been real drunk and the people i Have had sex with were not that nice and i kind of forced myself or pretended i wanted to do it .
One of them Hurt me a lot and i Had to Have stitches But other then that i always bleed and it always hurts.
I also go real mad at them after and i Have no idea why .....i pretend i want to do it and then when it comes to it and after i want to kill them and i cry and go phyco >: ( It is mad :/

[lynn P.]

I think you should be examined by a gynecologist to make sure everything is okay. There is a condition called 'vaginismus' where a muscle tightening occurs making intercourse very painful and sometimes not possible at all - but I don't think this is your problem. I think your difficulty comes from not having the right partner and being ready for sex - meaning you admit you actually didn't want to engage in sex. This would automatically make your body unresponsive - not lubricating naturally. The next time you engage in sex - make sure it's with a very patient and gentle partner. Use good lubrication and you control the whole sexual experience - when, which position and how. Don't have sex if you don't want to and pick a partner who is gentle. Best of luck and I hope this helps.

** I didn't realize you are only 15 - you're too young to be having sex or drinking.

[Pain ♥]

Lydia you should not be having any sexy time at 15 XD
You are sooo bad
see you at 10 My Lovely .

[shezbut]

Personally, I agree with lynn P.

You should be checked out medically, to be sure that there isn't anything physical contributing to your pain. Tilted uterus is a common reason for painful sex, especially when a woman isn't into the sex emotionally. Alcohol often puts women into the mood, which provides lubrication, unless she is bombed! Either way (bombed or not), sex should not have to come to the point of having to use alcohol. That is just sad.

Perhaps you use sex as payment to the man for allowing you to take out your anger upon him. It sounds to me as though you have a lot of pent up emotions anxious to come out. All subconsciously...where you don't plan it...but it does recur. Something to think about. If I'm totally wrong, you're free to disregard my personal opinion.

I don't think that now is a real good time for a romantic relationship. You may be eager to fill a void within yourself, but you don't sound ready to be honest and gentle to yourself (imo). Use this time of your life to see a T, and work through the emotions that you're holding onto. The personal growth can allow you to be a much happier person.

Very best wishes and ((hugs)) to you.

[Pain ♥]

OH.My.GOSH what is wrong with people on here ?
Let me tell you Lyida because some people have no idea : S
sex is painfull because you are 15 and your body is to young to have sex with older males who are hurting you.
WHY are people trying to tell you there is something wrong with you. Talk about worrying somebody for no reason.
Lyn P...you should not be telling her ways to have sex :S
OhhMyyGooosh XD

[Typo]

Pain they aren't trying to worry her, it is jsut medical conditions many women have had related to sex, and they are things to be looked into, also I don't think anyone knew her age, she didn't mention it.

A woman's body can be mature enough for sex by 15, mine was, but it doesn't mean I was ready to be sexually active, or that any female at the age of 15 is ready to be. Many people forget sex is not just a physical thing, but an emotional one as well, and there can be serious conscuenses, such as pregnecay and STD's. One should be smart and safe when being sexually active, and one should also be sure they are ready to handle the emotional aspect as well.

it sounds like these men are taking advantage of you, you shouldn't be sexually active unless you are ready to be, and it should be with someone who is going to be gentle and a caring partner, and I defintly think at 15 it isn't something you should be considering or doing, but most importantly if your going to be sexually active dont' let anyone force you into it, It's YOUR body and YOUR choice and stay safe.

Please take care Lydia and stay safe.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Pain ♥

OH.My.GOSH what is wrong with people on here ?
Let me tell you Lyida because some people have no idea : S
sex is painfull because you are 15 and your body is to young to have sex with older males who are hurting you.
WHY are people trying to tell you there is something wrong with you. Talk about worrying somebody for no reason.
Lyn P...you should not be telling her ways to have sex :S
OhhMyyGooosh XD

Well pardon me - I didn't know she was 15. If I had know that i would written a differnet post. She's also too young to be drinking.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Pain ♥

OH.My.GOSH what is wrong with people on here ?
Let me tell you Lyida because some people have no idea : S
sex is painfull because you are 15 and your body is to young to have sex with older males who are hurting you.
WHY are people trying to tell you there is something wrong with you. Talk about worrying somebody for no reason.
Lyn P...you should not be telling her ways to have sex :S
OhhMyyGooosh XD

Pain,

Typo put it right. lynn P and I didn't know the age of the poster.

I must say though, I stand by what I said. Lydia needs to work through these issues now & avoid drinking. The problems will still be there when Lydia is 18 and/or 21 years old. Better that the problems be dealt with now, rather than giving them time to become more complicated and hurtful.

Fifteen is too young for sex, but many many adolescents happily jump into bed ~ mostly because that is what they perceive to be expected of them. It wasn't very long ago that I was on that same road. People that refuse to accept young men and women being sexually active are essentially pushing them away. Pushing teens away when they really need support and help is not helpful. I'm not condoning teen sex, but I am not simplifying their sexual experience either. There are still emotions that need to be understood and dealt with appropriately.

Lydia ~ if you're reading this ~ please feel free to PM me if you'd like.

[AAAAA]

Sex is 90% mental and 10% physical. In my opinion most 15 year olds don’t have the life experience and knowledge to understand the full impact sex has to the body and psyche. It’s very frustrating that Mother Nature didn’t take that into account when designing our bodies to produce the hormones that create those urges at that age.

I’m a realist. I didn’t tell my kids “don’t have sex” I explained WHY it’s a bad idea before you’re fully ready to take on all of the ramifications (good and bad) that come with it.

Soap box aside, sex was extremely painful for me until I was 7 months pregnant with my oldest child. I was in a respectful, kind and loving relationship. It never occurred to me to tell him, it never even occurred to me to discuss this with my doctor. So thanks to those of you that shared information on possible conditions. What a comfort that would have been at the time to know it wasn’t just me.

My own situation resolved itself as I said when I was quite pregnant. I was lying in bed trying to get comfortable with that belly, when I moved I felt a “click” in my groin. It wasn’t exactly painful, just like something that had been out of place managed to work its way back in and it was a bit tender. The next time my husband and I had sex it was awesome!

So my advice is wait to have sex until you’re in a committed relationship. There are no moral implications here, a person in a committed relationship feels more comfortable about discussing what feels good and what doesn’t. If you still have problems then, take it up with a GYN.

Just curious, what conversation did you have with GYN when you required stitches?

[LyDiaHate]

I didnt put my age because i didnt want people to be like this ..!!
I KNOW i am to young to drink but thanks for adding it >: (
Being 15 is ruining my life >: (
dont worry its all my fault i had stitches and its all my fault i bleed and cry .
why even bother answering this ..!!

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by LyDiaHate

I didnt put my age because i didnt want people to be like this ..!!
I KNOW i am to young to drink but thanks for adding it >: (
Being 15 is ruining my life >: (
dont worry its all my fault i had stitches and its all my fault i bleed and cry .
why even bother answering this ..!!

__________________

Hi Lydia,
when I first answered your post I thought you were a grown woman and I answered you sincerely. If you would have put your age I would have cautioned you about sex at an early age, but still would have given you a similar answer. Your friend 'Pain' is the one who stirred things up and started to point the 'finger of shame' at me and other posters who were only trying to give you a decent answer. Here is her post:

OH.My.GOSH what is wrong with people on here ?
Let me tell you Lyida because some people have no idea : S
sex is painfull because you are 15 and your body is to young to have sex with older males who are hurting you.
WHY are people trying to tell you there is something wrong with you. Talk about worrying somebody for no reason.
Lyn P...you should not be telling her ways to have sex :S
OhhMyyGooosh XD

I would like to help you though and I think you would benefit by having some good mentors who could educate you about the dangers of getting involved at a young age. I know a lot about human sexuality(got an A+) in University. I'm also a mom of 2 young girls 12 and 8.

I remember what it was like being 15 and I wish I knew then, what I know now. I was lucky I didn't have sex until I was 18, but now I wish I waited even longer. I was also lucky that I had a loving partner who was gentle and respectful to me. I think in todays society there isn't enough emphasis on 'making love' - which is a beautiful experience. Now there's only talk about SEX - the basic act often lacking in emotional connections. I think this is what you experienced and you will always feel used in these circumstances.

Sex shouldn't hurt and you certainly shouldn't need stitches. Your partner should have STOPPED. If I were you, I would stop all sexual contact until you're more mature. There's so many STD's and pregnancy dangers. In addition I would hate for you to learn that sex isn't beautiful and pleasurable. At the moment you're just a toy to the men you had sex with and you should want better for yourself. If you want to learn more about STD's we can talk about it here. Some of these STD'd can kill you, make you sterile or at least cause you pain.

You have the right to control your body and if a man is being so rough that you need stitches - then you've lost control. You also should stay away from alcohol. It will make you do things you wouldn't normally do and diminishes sensation. Be smart and honour your body and don't let men take advantage of you. This is exactly why I told you in the first post - to have control the next time you have sex. Think about your future - do you want to become a used boy toy or grow up to be a strong woman who determines what happens with her body. I am willing to advise you the same way I would my own daughter. I wish when I was 18 I had a site like PC available to me, so I could have asked questions and recieved honest straight forward answers. We can give you honest answers and we have a lot of wise advice to offer - all you have to do is ask. If you keep going down this road you'll end up hurt, emotionally and physically - you'll regret it later in life.

[AAAAA]

The reason I asked about the stitches is that usually when injured in such a unique personal way, there is some information exchanged with the medical professional that could have been helpful.

[lynn P.]

I agree AAAAA I would like to know the answer to that question too. Sometimes when a woman loses her virginity there might be slight pain or light bleeding and this varies from woman to woman - sometimes there's no pain. Even a very experienced woman, who had children, could feel extreme discomfort if she's dry and the man FORCES himself on her.

The original poster mentions she wasn't receptive to sex and therefore was probably not lubricated - in addition she's not fully grown anatomically. We also don't know if she might have some other condition like what you had AAAAA or what I mentioned.

The bottomline here, as I see it is - if she choses to continue sexual relations then she should take precautions(protection and birth control) and find a gentle, respectful young man who will honour her. Only have sex if you're ready and willing. Remember there's a big difference between having sex and 'making love'.

But my true opinion is that Lydia IS too young to be having sex and should wait until she's older from now on. Concentrate on school and becoming an independent woman who always has control over her life. Have the upper hand and know you don't have to be victim. Learn how to emphasize your 'girl power'.

[Rhapsody]

While getting checked out by your doctor is highly recommended I would also like to add that I know (at least for me) that the first 5 to 10 or so times of me having intercourse it hurt and I often bleed after wards.... I was told by my doctor that this was normal and would pass once my body adjusted to having sex.

Please see you doctor...

[Indie'sOK]

I am also 15, and I agree with all things said in this thread by the caring, mature adult women who've had enough experience to know what's right and what's not.

[caring_whiterose]

Now, you maybe 15 aand that is young to be having sex, times are changing and thats a little scary but to me it sounds like you get scared. You said you force yourself to do it, you are already tense at the point and you are probably tensing up your musles causing it to hurt bad. As you getting mad at them after you do it, well maybe you yourself feels bad you did it and that they did it to you. Take care of yourself. Also if you do continue to have sex (I think you should wait) but you protection! Be safe.

Originally Posted by LyDiaHate

Hey.
I Have only Had sex about five times..and everytime is has hurt so bad i could cry :S
I Have always been real drunk and the people i Have had sex with were not that nice and i kind of forced myself or pretended i wanted to do it .
One of them Hurt me a lot and i Had to Have stitches But other then that i always bleed and it always hurts.
I also go real mad at them after and i Have no idea why .....i pretend i want to do it and then when it comes to it and after i want to kill them and i cry and go phyco >: ( It is mad :/