Does anybody else have a fear of being seen naked?

As the title says, does anyone else have a fear of being seen naked? Or of anyone looking at you in any sort of sexual way or of really showing any skin at all? I can wear T-shirts, but it just feels wrong. I've also worn some lower-cut tops (not low enough to show cleavage, just my chest) and I felt like it was inappropriate. I just don't understand how anyone feels comfortable in anything but a shirt that covers up to the neck (and possibly the arms too) and with jeans or maybe capris. And since I'm almost always nearly covered from head to toe, I'm unattractive. But I would think it would be less attractive if people saw what I really look like. And how can anyone wear anything remotely "sexy" or shows cleavage without feeling like an object? Or feel even more shame that even if you are brave enough to wear something like that, you're completely ignored. Apparently I'm the most attractive completely covered, and that's apparently not that attractive.

Also, I want to ask how one would ever be comfortable enough to let anyone see them naked in order to have sex or is it ok if they never see your body? It just all baffles me. And terrifies me.

You get comfortable with a person or situation. I could undress at the pool showers, but i don't feel totally comfortable because lots of kids whose behaviour is unpredictable. They already stare. My husband, no problem. A nude beach in a civilized location, no problem. My chest hanging out of a shirt - no way. I don't need that attention. Other people LOVE the attention. That's why they do it. I hate people commenting on my body, always did.

How old are you, approximately? It gets better with time, and finding the right situations and person and getting to know yourself.

I'm 24 and it's gotten much worse with time for me as I used to be able to wear a swimsuit, for example. I can't imagine getting comfortable with anybody to be honest.

Well, the idea of not wanting to be seen naked by bf or husband is common enough to be often discussed.

Concerns about being attractive: there are entire industries built on that. Part of attractiveness is a function of context more than any objective thing; another level is style; another is personality and confidence. It's a lot to work out.

But we're all born naked like every other animal, so a lot of this discomfort is cultural baggage - and incredibly complicated. You could spend a lifetime untangling it, or you could dismiss it as I mostly have. There's a continuum of choices.

Practice helps. We had gym class every day back in the 1960's and going away to sleep over camp helped. Too, in college we had physical ed and no cubicles or anything so you felt kind of ashamed if you were ashamed :-) so I toughed it out and one gets more use to talking about it and being in more/less states of undress.

The trick is to not be focusing on what you are looking like or feeling like and what others think of you, etc. but to just do your thing. I doubt you are any more/less attractive/unattractive than anyone else your age, you're probably just "normal" in that regard and would, initially, get comments because you are in the habit of being wholly covered so uncovering would look different to those who you are around most often, it would be a "change" for you and them because they are in the habit of "seeing" you one way. People don't always think when they make comments, that they might not be the only one making that comment. My stepson is over 7 feet tall and the number of idiots asking him how tall he is just gets really really old and intrusive. Well, if you dress all one way for a long time, you change that and people are, at first, going to comment.

I would study what people wear on different days to different events, etc. and start wearing what "most" are wearing. If everyone is in teeshirts, I'd wear a teeshirt those days/at those events. Yes, if you dress covered when everyone is uncovered, people are going to notice? That isn't good/bad, is not personal, you just look like the anomaly in the group. Being aware of how we literally fit in or don't can go a long way to not taking things personally. If people look at you funny, it may not be about "you" as you think but about how you have chosen to present yourself.

It's just that I've gotten negative comments about my body from a doctor of all people (perhaps she was an assistant/nurse?), but she was in dermatology so she's seen all there is in "bad-looking" skin, and yet she still reacts like I'm some sort of circus freak and I look worse now than I did then.

And it's also the fact that wearing less clothes doesn't get the sort of attention one would expect. Others on here mention that they get looks or attention from people who find them attractive...that's never happened. So it's even MORE embarrassing to try to dress in a "sexier" way (I'm not sure if I even understand the concept of "sexy", but that's probably for a different thread) because no one pays attention. So there's nothing worth paying attention to...or people are just being polite and not making comments about my ugly skin etc. Where I live now, the vast majority of people I'm around are very respectful and polite and don't make fun of the way I act/look/dress etc. but I still very uncomfortable dressing and looking the way I want to because I'm afraid they will like people used to where I grew up. And for the record, I have bad looking skin that scares dermatologists...so yeah in some ways I'm much less attractive than others my age. But I think the really telling thing is the fact that no one is ever interested in me, in fact they get angry/upset and all kinds of negative reactions if I have the gall to be attracted to them. And for the record, these are guys I'm talking about and I'm a girl. If girls reacted that way, I'd understand, but not guys...aren't guys supposed to be at least a little happy that a girl finds him attractive and not act like I'm some sort of poison that will destroy him socially if he's ever see talking to me again (or anything else less dramatic but just as hurtful)?

Well, I would formally complain to someone about that nurse/assistant's behaviour. Geez!!! Does your skin really scare dermatologists in general or just this one particular twit?

Yes, a lot of people notice bad skin, and people don't want to see it. On the bright side, perhaps it can heal unlike, say, unusual body proportions. (I don't want to give my personal details here, but just saying there's something people always noticed and made fun of and -- to heck with them! Tells me who the jerks are, and many people are jerks. You want someone else.)

It would be great if you could get some help for your skin condition, but if it's something permanent, ultimately it shouldn't block being with someone if it's not catching. If it's contagious (does such a thing exist?) then it could be more difficult.

Edit: hey I just remembered my lovely husband has a skin condition. When I first saw it, he said, "Do you still like me?" Well, it has improved over the years because I scrub his back for him and remind him not to pick at it! So, yeah, I do understand that particular embarrassment. Actually, it was quite nasty at first. I washed it the first time I saw it. He had infections. He's become less of a slob over the years.

It's not a "condition" per se, it's just how my skin has turned out after years of self-harm, mixed with acne, and very pale complexion (I swear it's so pale it's almost transparent and you can see a few too many details—like veins—that I don't think should be quite as apparent yet. So it probably just scares the doctor/nurse/whatever her position was because of how my skin got in that condition. But I've been terrified for anyone to look at me since (especially my legs as they probably are the worse). So theoretically, it could get better, but as long as there is even a hint of a scar, there's still the shame. And I'd also have too permanently quit, and I'm in too deep to quit completely.

Well, never say never. Maybe you could quit. Shame can turn into acceptance one day.

I can see why they interpret something disturbing, but still medical people must control emotional reactions, IMO.

Anyway, it sounds not unsurmountable. A lot of people have experience with self-injury, intentional or otherwise. How would you like things to turn out, ideally.

Weird looking human skin is normal. Few of us are supermodels. There's always spray tan if you're into that. I'm not. I accept the natural variation of things. Reminds me of a poem --

Pied Beauty by Gerard Manley Hopkins : The Poetry Foundation

My skin color would be fine IF I could expose it to a little sunlight so it could naturally darken just a little...it's never going to be dark and I'm fine with that, but it's awfully pale...it's kind of dangerous to not be covered up in the summer because just a few minutes of sun and I'm sunburned.

But anyway, I just want to be in a relationship one day...I've lowered all my other expectations. Actually, I'll lower it even further...to just have someone legitimately find me attractive, and still feel that way when I'm naked (which may be awkward if not already in a relationship, but still...)

Start loving your body and you will feel comfortable.

yes, people ogling at you does make you uncomfortable but you need to learn to ignore

Sexy is not just a matter of looks, but heart, feeling, smile, and probably a lot more. I rather like appearing before my husband nude or in some kind of sleazy gown. It gets his hormones going and makes me feel wanted and desirable. I would never go out in public nude though. I believe in modesty to a point, but deliberately covering everything, probably not. Women have to tread a difficult balance between looking unattractive and looking sleazy.

In reading your post, I felt that you were selling yourself short. You do not have to be a beauty queen to feel attractive. It is easy to be hard on ourselves. We are often our own most severe critics I am so sorry that a medical professional of all people would tell you negative stuff about your appearance. I would at least investigate some ways of using make up etc, to cover whatever blemishes you might have. I am sure that it is a scary step for you, but if there is anything that you can do to feel better about you, that may very well make you more attractive to others as well.

Good luck and be encouraged. You deserve to feel good about yourself. I am sure there is a beautiful woman inside who needs to be appreciated. I really believe in you

Love -- Larissa

The least I ever wear in front of others is, a T-shirt, jeans, and shoes, and even the T-shirt makes me uncomfortable for a while.
My skin is pretty pale, and I have an acne problem on my arms and shoulders. My legs are covered with little scab-looking things. I rarely bathe, so I have a lot of flaking skin.

I'd hate for anyone to see all of that. But on top of that, I don't feel safe unless I'm fully dressed.

People don't ogle at me (or anything similar)...it's not that I necessarily WANT them to, but I always would like to be wanted in some sort of way.

So is being really modest, really THAT unattractive? I don't have anyone to dress less modestly for anyway and I have I feeling that that won't happen until I start dressing in a way that I don't feel comfortable.

I pretty much feel the same way, although my skin seems to peel less if I don't bathe all the time.

Are you hoping to have broad appeal to the average male (ick!) or be yourself and appeal to someone who can appreciate you with your individual foibles? (The latter is a lot more comfortable; the former pays out sooner.)

i have issues being nude in front of others. i want to be skinny and lose weight not easy to do right now with no income. i have issues being nude in front of my bf or at a gym especially in public places where people stare. i hate getting undressed at the doctor's office when they do exams. before i met my bf, i was doing sexual things with guys and had many guys tell me i would look better in a thong if my tummy and legs were slimmed.

others said i was too fat nude i told them u should have told me to keep my clothes on and felt i wasnt thin enough for them yet they claim i love women for who they are crap it proved not in the bedroom they didn't!

Well, the latter would be preferable of course, but if no one notices me in that way, that won't happen. So, if I'm be unattractive to everyone by being too modest, then maybe I need to change something.