Secrets Every man should know (Because I know they read this board)

communicate communicate communicate! tell us your deepest thoughts and dreams. have goals

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bebop said:
communicate communicate communicate!

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Yes, this one is very important... if you do not communicate with us then we do not feel loved by you, even though we know you love us.

Be vulnerable.

oh and don't be afraid to cry. to me it shows men are human when they are able to show their emotions.

DONT give me a detailed description of this bill is due, this one can wait til next time, this is whats due out of this check, this is whats due out of the next check. women love security . vocalizing about the bills out loud IS NOT the way to give it. just pay the stupid *** bills without overloading my already upset mind & body!!! i know the stupid bills are there--i dont need to hear about them.

don't treat us like we are fish

being married 19 years you should know when I'm in need of a hug...like when I am crying after therapy.......DONT MAKE ME BEG!!!!!!!!

And when you are upset or have a headache don't expect me to KNOW

I agree with the communication communication communication thing ......

Jin

what sucks is that (for my generation at least) most of our moms are the kind who stayed at home and did the housework or even worked but still did the housework. our parents never really had the mutual respect and division of labor in the household. so i know that i was brought up being shown that boys don't cry, they don't talk about feelings.... the play sports and they act tough. they kill things and hammer things. meanwhile.. we were told to talk and express our feelings. we were told that its okay to cry if you fell down and told that we should cook and clean... etc. so we want someone to talk to but guys were brought up not to talk.... how does that make sense to raise kids like that?

anyways... you know what will help guys a lot?

my boyfriend is reading this book called "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, M.D. He has learned a lot from it. After reading only a few pages he said to me "this makes me feel a lot better about us. it's taught me that the difference we have aren't because we're mismatched... it's who we are." He thinks its an interesting book and has said that every guy should read it. Guys always want to know what women want and how they work.... read that book! it spells it out in plain english!

sorry... that was a long one.

give us compliments on how well we are doing with the baby for women who have babies we like compliments just so we know u care

when we are quiet and you ask us what is wrong there really is something wrong. we just don't want to hurt your feelings with what is going thru our minds.

sometimes what is wrong is with in ourselfs
thats why we can not talk
which is really unfair to you

the... old one..... yes cuddling can be so good... for both of us....

always the truth

Please men....remember that we are partners in a marriage meaning we have to make decisions together.

Also, please remember that women will not be able to remain looking or acting like a hot little sex toy for you while you think it's fine to lose your hair, gain a few pounds and have nose hairs, bushy eyebrows, and belch.

Don't inspect our work if we do something mechanical.....yes we do know how to use a hammer, screwdriver, replace lightbulbs and mow the lawn. Some of us even know how to rewire, do a lube change and lay shingles. It can seem very demeaning if you feel it needs your approval.

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Ingridave2 said:
Please men....remember that we are partners in a marriage meaning we have to make decisions together.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Ingridave2, that is such a good one. I experienced that many times in my marriage--my H making unilateral decisions. It made me feel like, "ummm, excuse me, do I even exist?" So that is very, very good advice, and it goes both ways (for both men and women). For important decisions, the partner needs to be consulted.

Absolutely sunrise...I agree that that advice goes both ways. Both partners should communicate honestly with each other in finances

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Ingridave2 said:
Absolutely sunrise...I agree that that advice goes both ways. Both partners should communicate honestly with each other in finances

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Ahhh, finances. Yep. One time my H came to me and said he had decided to buy a second house for investment purposes and had been working with a real estate agent for several months to locate an appropriate property. What!!??

At least your husband was purchasing for good. My ex-husband was stashing money away to by comptuer hardware accessories while the kids and I were going to the food bank for food. When I asked him about money I heard him say he had put away to by a comptuer part, I asked him if we could use some of that money to buy food. He gave me $50 whole dollars to by flour, butter, yeast, eggs and milk so I could bake bread.

when a woman is not feeling like herself and is unable to do the things she normally does, do not say, "While you were gone i did not eat, I couldn't sleep because you were not here, and I was so worried about you I didn't go to work" but then i find out that the day you didn't go to work you spent with your friend. This hurts.I guess what I am saying is DON'T LIE!!!!!! The truth is much better. If you say, I didn't go to work because i am exhausted so I spent time with my friend so I wouldn't sit all day worrying about how you were doing, this is soooooo much better. COMMUNICATE (I KNOW SOMEONE ALREADY SAID THIS ONE, BUT IT IS SO TRUE)

Don't yell at us about little things that are not all that important Just say to yourself it is not important, and get over it.

Hope no one said these!
Don't just come to us looking for sexual gratification! Be there when we need it too.

Don't run away because of an imperfection?

If you know a woman who suppresses a lot,and they hint at something being wrong, ask. Or better yet, let us know you'll be there for support.

Respect us for more than our bodies. We have brains,you know.

We LOVE small acts of kindness.... when you hold open a door for an old lady, for example.

Theres times we dont want to communicate at all, and want to just take in the moment, with or without you. They dont mean we love you less.

If we ask for your opinion about an outfit or our appearance, we truly want your opinion. It is not meant to torture you or to hear false compliments. We can usually tell when you are complimenting us to get sex or to get freedom to watch the game.

<font color="green">Women are not merely objects to be visually evaluated and approved or disapproved of by you. (I had a boyfriend way back when who voiced his opinion on every woman he saw. Watching television it was always either "mmm, mmm, mmm," or "get off the screen, you ugly broad." The only function women had in life was to bring him pleasure, and if he wasn't pleased, the woman was worthless.)

There is no such thing as "what women want." We are individuals, not a category. Just because your ex preferred something a certain way doesn't mean every woman does. I, for one, would rather be told the truth if my butt looks big in this skirt, so I can change the skirt if need be. That's just another form of what someone else already mentioned, saying what you think I want to hear, rather than what you really think. Oh, how I HATE that!

Surprise! Women have feelings and need to cry sometimes. It doesn't automatically mean she has a female problem, or just wants you to feel like a shmuck. She hurts. And, I've seen a fair number of men use tears to manipulate a woman as well. Not all men, of course, but there are times when a man's tears are meant to say, "You know, unlike you women, when we men cry there's a reason for it, so you should feel extra bad for reducing me to this."

Don't try the "I'm incompetent at household chores" trick. Yeah, yeah: mess up the laundry or the shopping or the cooking, and next time she'll just do it herself rather than asking you again. We're onto that stunt. It's the oldest in the book.</font>

that we all make mistakes in life