[Have Hope]

I was asked to spend a total of $60 on 3 separate work Christmas presents, and now I cannot afford to buy food until I get paid on Friday (it's only Tue). I should have protested against spending so much at work.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm in CA. My bosses/owners are in NY. They are trying to change up the leave that the employees are allowed and how it is accrued. CA has a bunch of laws on this. I gave them a ton of info, explained how it works (my undergrad degree is in HR) and everything. They were like, okay, we'll discuss it and let you know what we decide. I know I'm just a lowly employee but I'm the one that knows this crap about CA. Wish I was involved in the deciding process because if whatever they decide violates CA law I'm going to have to point that out and we will have to start all over again. Wage claims are no joke in CA.

There's going to be that dumb Team Meeting (by Phone Conference) this Friday. I emailed the manager, who puts it together, asking if the meeting can be held at 11:30 instead of noon. The reason for my request is that the company is going to have a Pot Luck Lunch at noon. And now that meeting is scheduled for 12:30! What a dumb idea! It's bad enough of me having to go to those meetings, but they have to have it at lunch time!

[Mountaindewed]

Before my coworker and I could even get into the door the manager started telling us what to do when we clocked in. I guess someones upset the president got impeached. 🙄 I’ve been on the verge of a breakdown all week so today wasn’t any different. I actually complained about my work conditions to the manager and when I actually say something instead of keeping it to myself then there’s something off with me.

As usual it is xmas time and my workplace has to have events for all the morons that I work with. Frankly I don't want to share events with them and I think it is WRONG for the employer to sponsor them on work time. They should be 100% on their own time period.

But I foolishly got struck with the christmas spirit. I decided to get rid of some gifts that I hadn't used and I put them in for the yankee swap but I didn't want to swap for a gift. Well you would think the world ended. Of course at the big party event with all he stupid morons laughing and such... someone put in a gift of a toilet light. And everyone yelled out they should give it to me. Presumably because I wasn't there.

Well of course, how did I know? People who are supposedly friends of mine had to have people come over and tell me that. Because they aren't friends of mine.

So for my generosity, I got made fun of AND, I got to hear about it..

[TerryL]

i just started at a job seven weeks ago. in the beginning, i got along with my coworker so i confided in her that i had struggled with guilt issues for a long time.. i also had insomnia twice over something at work. (from issues i knew i could eventually work out) i made the mistake of telling that coworker about the insomnia because instead of being understanding, she frowned and said i have emotional issues and maybe i shouldn't be working there. and she said it loudly so the other staff members might have heard. i was just mortified. people can be so cruel.. i would never have embarrassed and denigrated someone like she did me.

[Have Hope]

I have too many gripes to list. lol. My job sucks. I hate it.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

I have too many gripes to list. lol. My job sucks. I hate it.

I thought they want to promote you?

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I thought they want to promote you?

Yes, but it's a bit complicated. My CEO says that and I want that myself, but still, I am not happy with some aspects of the work environment and some of the people in it who are above me. It's a bit... well, it's political, people backstab to get ahead, and there's a lot of secret side conversations, favoritism and nepotism at play. It's a bit toxic in that way. I am just really trying to survive there and thrive even though this all goes on, and I'd like to progress if I can, while I keep an eye out for other jobs. And some days I truly hate it there. That's when I posted that... I was in that hateful kind of mood, lol. That's it in a nutshell.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Yes, but it's a bit complicated. My CEO says that and I want that myself, but still, I am not happy with some aspects of the work environment and some of the people in it who are above me. It's a bit... well, it's political, people backstab to get ahead, and there's a lot of secret side conversations, favoritism and nepotism at play. It's a bit toxic in that way. I am just really trying to survive there and thrive even though this all goes on, and I'd like to progress if I can, while I keep an eye out for other jobs. And some days I truly hate it there. That's when I posted that... I was in that hateful kind of mood, lol. That's it in a nutshell.

What field do you work in? If you are comfortable saying.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by seesaw

What field do you work in? If you are comfortable saying.

I work in a for-profit corporation. That's about the most I'm comfortable saying. I am super paranoid about sharing details publicly.

[Mountaindewed]

The Christmas season is about to end and then we have that slew of time where things slow down and we have inventory and deep cleaning and stuff. I’ll be working way less. Sometimes I’ll have 5 days off in a row. I’ll be called at 3 in the afternoon and be told not to come in the next day. I am glad that time of the year is coming up.

[Have Hope]

I volunteered to help out another team about 2 months ago because they were struggling. So I helped them and ended up saving the day for them. But now that I've helped, no one is taking any responsibility from that team to take over the work I started, so now it's become mine for the life of it, even though I don't work on that team. So what that means is that I have to work over Christmas, along with members of that team, to take care of this part of my new responsibility. I was glad to help them, but I am resentful that I now have to work when normally I wouldn't over the holiday. There's many unfair things that go on at my workplace, and this is just one of them. I should have just trained someone on their team to do it, so I don't have to.

[rechu]

Have Hope - sadly, that seems to happen a lot. People take advantage of those who are nice and go beyond. At my last job I became the go-to person for dealing with Brazil because I spoke Portuguese. I was getting frequent requests to help with calling/emailing Brazil, which took time away from getting my work. Then I was taken to task because my production stats went down. Management talked the talk about teamwork, but in the end it was only the individual stats that mattered. I had to start to decline requests, since it was just adding to my workload and wasn’t even appreciated.

Is there anyone you could approach about training someone in the relevant team to deal with this work?

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by rechu

Have Hope - sadly, that seems to happen a lot. People take advantage of those who are nice and go beyond. At my last job I became the go-to person for dealing with Brazil because I spoke Portuguese. I was getting frequent requests to help with calling/emailing Brazil, which took time away from getting my work. Then I was taken to task because my production stats went down. Management talked the talk about teamwork, but in the end it was only the individual stats that mattered. I had to start to decline requests, since it was just adding to my workload and wasn’t even appreciated.

Is there anyone you could approach about training someone in the relevant team to deal with this work?

Ugh. That is truly unfortunate, and sadly, is the reality of most workplaces. It angers me....

I am going try and find someone to train on this task. It's too late now for the holiday, so I might as well just do it. But for the future, I am going to seek out someone to train on it. It looks like I will have to take matters into my own hands, because no one else is. And yes, I do get taken advantage of in my job in a lot of ways. I have the heftiest workload on my whole team, simply because I can handle it. Others on my team they have to speak with about time management, but not me. It doesn't pay to be more efficient; it just means more work.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

And yes, I do get taken advantage of in my job in a lot of ways. I have the heftiest workload on my whole team, simply because I can handle it. Others on my team they have to speak with about time management, but not me. It doesn't pay to be more efficient; it just means more work.

This is me exactly. People take advantage of me and they let other slide. It’s lazy management: it’s just easier to push the ones you can push and ignore the ones who won’t do the work. I keep wanting to find another job but I know the problem truly lies with me because if I don’t learn to set better boundaries I’ll always find myself in this same situation.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

This is me exactly. People take advantage of me and they let other slide. It’s lazy management: it’s just easier to push the ones you can push and ignore the ones who won’t do the work. I keep wanting to find another job but I know the problem truly lies with me because if I don’t learn to set better boundaries I’ll always find myself in this same situation.

Oh my goodness.. this is SO TRUE. I’m taken advantage of too because I work hard and am too nice. I’m working on setting limits and boundaries and vowed to myself to stop being a pushover. I know it’s in my hands as well. I’m helping out the other team over Christmas but that’s it. They need someone else to take over this task and I’m going to tell them this in a diplomatic way. Hugs to you!

[Mountaindewed]

Today we had catered food brought in. I clocked out for the day and had gotten some food and there were about 4-5 other people in the break room. A supervisor came in and said “whoa who left these burners here?” I guess someone had left the burners for the food on the side of the table instead of under them. I looked up from my food and causally said “oh, I didn’t see those there.” Then she started telling me about how people need to be more aware. And what about the 4-5 other people in the room who didn’t see them? She then asked me if I would stay (my shift was over) and tell people to stay away from the flames. Uh, no. I ate, told the people in the room to warn incoming people about the flames to get a kind of domino effect going and I left. I swear supervisors and the holidays don’t mix. But how in the world was it my fault the burners were left there and why should I have to stay past my shift unpaid to tell grown adults not to touch fire?

[Have Hope]

Ok, so I voiced my complaint to a couple team members today. I told them that someone needs to take over this task for me, and that I'm happy to train the person. They both pointed me to my boss, but I am afraid of him, and I am afraid of talking to him. He hasn't been of any help on this matter so far, even though I've brought it up to him. Maybe I need to be more direct about it since I haven't been that direct. I've circled around the issue, tip toeing around it.

[Have Hope]

@LilyMop, I feel like the only way to not allow others to take advantage is to set firm boundaries, like we've mentioned in other threads before: NO, I cannot do that right now... NO, I don't have room on my plate for that just now; NO NO NO. I am astounded that my company is totally trampling on me right now and is taking advantage of my good will. Really??? I volunteered to help with one thing, and that now has turned into my full responsibility and no one else will take ownership of it from that team? I have a full workload..... and everyone goofs off on my team, except for me, because I am working so hard to just keep up. It's ridiculous. I hate how people will totally take advantage of goodwill like that. It pisses me off.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

@LilyMop, I feel like the only way to not allow others to take advantage is to set firm boundaries, like we've mentioned in other threads before: NO, I cannot do that right now... NO, I don't have room on my plate for that just now; NO NO NO. I am astounded that my company is totally trampling on me right now and is taking advantage of my good will. Really??? I volunteered to help with one thing, and that now has turned into my full responsibility and no one else will take ownership of it from that team? I have a full workload..... and everyone goofs off on my team, except for me, because I am working so hard to just keep up. It's ridiculous. I hate how people will totally take advantage of goodwill like that. It pisses me off.

Yes I have experienced all of the above. I try not to volunteer for things anymore because the task will most definitely become mine when I do. Recently I had to be really direct about an issue that was going on for more than a year and it has been stressful ever since. Yes they lightened my workload and spread it more fairly... but there was also some retaliation as a result. So I’ve learned that speaking up and setting boundaries comes with consequences. People often do not like it when you do it and you have to be able to tolerate the discomfort of that.

I wish I had a good answer to all of this. I’ve become better at kindly telling people no up front when I can. Whenever possible, I will leave the room and act really busy as soon as a topic comes up that I want no part of. Lol, you should see me running frantically up and down the halls some days... I also started limiting my interactions with people I just can’t trust. I stay friendly but I am very cautious.

I used to always be willing to help everybody but not anymore. I really enjoy being part of a productive team... but unless we are the bosses or managers, we really can’t do much to influence that. I hope things get better for you. You are right that communication and setting strong boundaries is very important.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

Yes I have experienced all of the above. I try not to volunteer for things anymore because the task will most definitely become mine when I do. Recently I had to be really direct about an issue that was going on for more than a year and it has been stressful ever since. Yes they lightened my workload and spread it more fairly... but there was also some retaliation as a result. So I’ve learned that speaking up and setting boundaries comes with consequences. People often do not like it when you do it and you have to be able to tolerate the discomfort of that.

I wish I had a good answer to all of this. I’ve become better at kindly telling people no up front when I can. Whenever possible, I will leave the room and act really busy as soon as a topic comes up that I want no part of. Lol, you should see me running frantically up and down the halls some days... I also started limiting my interactions with people I just can’t trust. I stay friendly but I am very cautious.

I used to always be willing to help everybody but not anymore. I really enjoy being part of a productive team... but unless we are the bosses or managers, we really can’t do much to influence that. I hope things get better for you. You are right that communication and setting strong boundaries is very important.

I am picturing that... you running down the hallways. Oh boy. I can relate! I don't know what to do. I know exactly what you're saying. It's like you're damned if you do speak up, and damned if you don't. I'd much rather speak up though and face those consequences than be miserable, resentful and bitter at my job all day long. That's the choice, right? And I feel bitter right now because of what I've allowed to happen.. and I feel it's all my own fault for volunteering my help in the first place! And they expect you to be a team player, but then when you are, you get overloaded, and when you're not, you get criticized. I feel like either way it rolls, you can't win unless you're in management. And my boss? He does nothing all day long. He even complained to me that I had him working today on something (that only he can do, not me). He is SO lazy, and I am working my butt off.

I feel like I need a radical change in attitude, or else I'm going to become miserable. I just wish I could make that change. The change of acceptance: this is how it is in the working world. It's unfair. You need strong boundaries. And you have to look out for yourself. Bottom line. I'm much more idealistic and think, "it shouldn't be this way. It could be SO much better if only this, or that.... ". I need to cut out the idealistic thinking and get real.

Sorry for babbling, and thanks for your reply !

[LilyMop]

@Have Hope

You’re not babbling. I completely understand what you’re saying. I do feel better about myself for speaking up. I’ll get better at it as time goes on and I’ll get used to the discomfort of feeling like I’ve annoyed people or let them down.

I have done the same things as you... even forcing my boss to get things done like you did. Lol! Yes that’s why we get ourselves into trouble. We are too reliable and productive.

Start running up and down the halls my friend

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

@Have Hope

You’re not babbling. I completely understand what you’re saying. I do feel better about myself for speaking up. I’ll get better at it as time goes on and I’ll get used to the discomfort of feeling like I’ve annoyed people or let them down.

I have done the same things as you... even forcing my boss to get things done like you did. Lol! Yes that’s why we get ourselves into trouble. We are too reliable and productive.

Start running up and down the halls my friend

Lol... Good! I am proud of you. I think it’s better to stand up for oneself than to be walked all over like a doormat. I’d rather deal with discomfort of pissing people off than with upsetting and disappointing myself. Yay for us!!! Hugs.

[Turtle_Rider]

A week ago, I got into two interviews. They were nice, but it seems like they have better candidates than me. I'm kinda losing my hope.