[widgets]

I'm not addicted to alcohol. well my body isnt, i dont need to drink everyday, but in my head i feel that i need to drink to have a good time, and i do love having a good time.
But recently, every single time i have been drunk, i have snapped and just been completely suicidal.
I want to stop drinking for 2 months, i know it will be easy peasy during the week, but on a friday night when all my friends will be getting ready to go out, i dont know how i will resist, the knowledge that i will argue with all my friends, sleep with a stranger then, self harm and become suicidal isnt enough to stop me!
anyone have tips on this?

[Leed]

Hi ~

Being an alcoholic doesn't mean you have to drink every night. You can be a binge drinker like you are. You seem to have an allergy to alcohol, which basically is the same as an alcoholic has - we can't drink because of what it does to us. It makes us to things we wouldn't normally do, say things we wouldn't normally say - it "changes" us. And from what you say, alcohol changes YOU too. I can't say that YOU are an alcoholic cause only YOU can say that, but since you're a binge drinker, and the alcohol changes you, it sure sounds like it.

If I were you, I'd stay home and work on NOT drinking. And I'd try a meeting of AA and listen to them and see if anything they say sounds like YOU. If it does, then perhaps you'll have your answer. This WILL progress, you know. It will NOT stay just a weekend thing. So it's best to catch it now while it's not a daily drunk - because it will be, trust me.

I wish you the very best - God bless you!!! Hugs, Lee

in my head i feel that i need to drink to have a good time, and i do love having a good time

Hello, widgets. It seems you are saying a good time means getting drunk, arguing with friends, sleeping with a stranger, self-harming and and becoming suicidal? What do you think a bad time is?

My thought is you would benefit from a physical and a comprehensive evaluation to determine if you have any physical or mental conditions requiring treatment, including alcoholism.

You might also wish to redefine what you mean by a "good time."

Be well.

[Leed]

HI

Being an alcoholic doesn't mean you have to drink every night. You can be a binge drinker like you are. You seem to have an allergy to alcohol, which basically is the same as an alcoholic has - we can't drink because of what it does to us. It makes us to things we wouldn't normally do, say things we wouldn't normally say - it "changes" us. And from what you say, alcohol changes YOU too. I can't say that YOU are an alcoholic cause only YOU can say that, but since you're a binge drinker, and the alcohol changes you, it sure sounds like it.

If I were you, I'd stay home and work on NOT drinking. And I'd try a meeting of AA and listen to them and see if anything they say sounds like YOU. If it does, then perhaps you'll have your answer. This WILL progress, you know. It will NOT stay just a weekend thing. So it's best to catch it now while it's not a daily drunk - because it will be, trust me.

I wish you the very best - God bless you!!! Hugs, Lee[/quote]

[widgets]

Sometimes, i do actually have fun while i drink every now and then, but its getting less and less often, i have had this problem since i was 14 and i am now 20, i have tried to commit suicide while drunk around 10 times. I forgot to mention i also have Bipolar.
I know i have a problem with alcohol and its affect on me isnt right, i never pass out after too much alcohol, i just go crazy!!
If i never drink again, then it basically feels like there will be no point to my life.
And i know thats not right, needing alcohol to have a point to my life, but i dont know which is more important to me, alcohol, or not having to have alcohol.
I feel that if i went to an AA meeting, it would make me feel worse rather than better, the thought of knowing i could NEVER drink again would be so horrific for me.
I think this is a case of, you need to accept it before you can change it. I dont know whether i will ever be able to accept it.

But do you have any tips on things to do instead of drinking when all my friends will be out drinking!

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by widgets

Sometimes, i do actually have fun while i drink every now and then, but its getting less and less often, i have had this problem since i was 14 and i am now 20, i have tried to commit suicide while drunk around 10 times. when alcohol controls our actions and makes our choices for us, it's generally concluded one is a problem drinker if not alcoholic. most ppl don't try to off themselves. you're young and have your whole life ahead of you.I forgot to mention i also have Bipolar. those of us who are bipolar have a tendency to self medicate on alcohol. for me it took me into the throes of alcoholism. then i figured out i had a problem with alcohol. one doesn't have to follow my path to self destruction. i'm 20 years sober but i wanted to check out when i was drinking. I know i have a problem with alcohol and its affect on me isnt right, i never pass out after too much alcohol, i just go crazy!!
If i never drink again, then it basically feels like there will be no point to my life. imho that comment is a red flag ...so do you put that much importance in alcohol to have a meaningful and fufilling life?
And i know thats not right, needing alcohol to have a point to my life, but i dont know which is more important to me, alcohol, or not having to have alcohol. my personal "research" on this proved to me that having alcohol was a living hell by the time i got sober.
I feel that if i went to an AA meeting, it would make me feel worse rather than better, the thought of knowing i could NEVER drink again would be so horrific for me. once again you're stating that alcohol rules you. you don't rule the alcohol. so what's the great payoff here? you've mentioned what happens to you when you drink.
I think this is a case of, you need to accept it before you can change it. I dont know whether i will ever be able to accept it. well posting here is a good step forward. you're questioning your drinking history. i hope we see you here/this forum again.

But do you have any tips on things to do instead of drinking when all my friends will be out drinking!

i read your public profile. do all your friends end up where you do when drinking? if so maybe it would help to find some friends that don't put so much value in being drunk but instead having a good sober time. there are alot of ppl that don't need alcohol to have fun.
not busting you. i understand where you are. just wanted to give you some things to think about. living a sober life has been so much more fulfilling than any time i drank. you might want to give it a go for 30 days not drinking. see if your life improves. my bet's on it will.

Hello again, widgits. Would you still drink if you did not have friends? Do you wonder if you have friends because of the way you act when drinking?

Frankly, I would not consider someone a friend who knows how negatively alcohol affects you yet still enables such self-destructive behavior. Friends would seek to help you to a safer place.

This link may be useful:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ning-alcoholic

You are a valuable person, widgits. Take care of yourself.

[widgets]

To be honest they cant do right for doing wrong, if they didnt ask me to come out with them, i would be completely a mess, wondering what i had done wrong.
We do have sober times together all week, but on a friday night, and to be fair, its not like any one of us suggests it we go out, thats what we do.
i need to find the strength to just stay in, but i dont know how.

widgets, does the college you attend have a student health department that might help you? Would a friend stay with you on a Friday night so you are not alone?

There is a void to fill when someone stops drinking. How to fill it is the question. Here are some suggestions:

http://sobersources.blogspot.com/200...-drinking.html

Is therapy an option for you?

[sane1logic1]

I only don't drink whatever day "today" is. And in my case plan a drink.

Never "forever". Because "today" is all I've got & all I'll ever have.

I used to leave months between binges. I was planning another binge even if I hadn't put a date to it.

Your description of the results is what I experienced every time in a nutshell. Thank you for reminding me so succinctly.

The blackouts will come too, in time.

This is now the seventh time I am not planning another binge, a day at a time.

The economic and social damage increased exponentially every time I went back to it. Next time, legal trouble will come very big time (having held back unusually hitherto) & also the remains of my health mental & physical willl be destroyed.

[widgets]

yes the college does i think... i am currently being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. i havent discussed the fact that i think i have a problem with alcohol with them yet, i told them how much i drink but they dont seem to think its too much of a problem, although they did say that alcohol will automatically depress me so not to drink, but in a way like i think they tell everyone. I didnt tell them its not that easy for me not to drink.
I have tried talking to my best friend saying i think i may have a real problem here and should stop drinking, all he said was if i have a problem, so does all of our friends.
I couldnt bring myself to say, "when was the last time you ended up hospitalised because you jumped in the river/ over dosed."
i know i have a problem but i am a 20 year old girl dealing with all the restrictions having manic depression puts on me, i dont want to know that i may not be able to do what everyone else does, i literally dont know anyone who doesnt drink, considering i have all the friends out of my school year, my college friends and work mates that covers every area of my life. Its not fair that i have to have this reaction to it.....

This Friday, i am going to stay in, i am going to tell my friends that i would like a movie night with pizza or something, if they decide to go out, then i wont hold it against them, but i will see out it pans out.
Thanks for your help, i completely agree with what you are all saying but am finding it extremely difficult to accept in my head!

[splitimage]

Check and see if your college or town has a Young People in AA meeting. There are lots of young people in AA who have lots of fun sober, and from what I hear they put on awesome conferences. I was a binge drinker in my 20's mainly Thurs. nights and weekends. And all my friends were binge drinkers too - we found each other, so I thought it was normal. It's not. I'm now in my 40's and my drinking got progressively worse, injuries, hospitalizations, car crashes, job loss. I'm now trying to rebuild my life.

You have an advantage you can change your path before you become to entrenched in the drinking lifestyle and not mess up your life like I did. And don't think of it as forever. Forever is just too big a time frame to think about. Think about not drinking for one day.

Good luck.

Splitimage

((((( MZG )))))

[madisgram]

widget read your last post in this thread where you don't know how to do this. AA is a good start as split image suggested. the other thing i'd like to share is acceptance is the key. you have the desire to possibly stop drinking. accepting, not just admitting, you have a problem with alcohol is the beginning of overcoming your problem. i remember i thought, gosh then i'll have to grow up and be responsible to self. it was a scary thought. but that is exactly what i needed to do. grow up and take responsibility of the problem. no one can do it for you. you have to want to change for it to occur. sounds like you are beginning that journey. glad you're staying in on friday. that is part of the solution. people, places and things help cause us to drink. staying away from those temptations will help you.
best wishes and keep posting. we're here for you.

[widgets]

Thanks for all of your help.
I'm being put on a med next week that from what i've read i'll fall asleep after half a glass of wine, so i'm guessing thats going to help!
Its Quetiapine by the way.

Hello, MZG. You have a lot going on. I hope this helps.

Seroquel (quetiapine fumarate) [2009 version]

Took courage to take this step. I wish you the best.

[madisgram]

ah widget i don't know if one should drink if on that med even if it's a glass of wine. did your doc say that was ok?

From the site previously mentioned:
Do not drive, operate machinery, or do other dangerous activities until you know how SEROQUEL affects you. SEROQUEL may make you drowsy.

• Avoid getting over-heated or dehydrated.
o Do not over-exercise.
o In hot weather, stay inside in a cool place if possible.
o Stay out of the sun. Do not wear too much or heavy clothing.
o Drink plenty of water.
• Do not drink alcohol while taking SEROQUEL. It may make some side effects of SEROQUEL worse.
hope this helps.

[widgets]

no he said not to drink.
Which i wont, but by all accounts if i do even try and drink, i will fall asleep, but it may cause falls and accidents as well, so i'm not going to drink.

[madisgram]

good for you widget. i hope this med helps you!!!