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  #126  
Old Jan 15, 2012, 05:30 AM
Anonymous32912
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....looks like the good habit I got at the moment is comin' on here and sayin' I haven't got a bad one!

sober
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, madisgram

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  #127  
Old Jan 16, 2012, 05:36 AM
Anonymous32912
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...it's all here, everything I would need for drinking,

everything except the going and the getting.

sober
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker
  #128  
Old Jan 16, 2012, 11:26 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dubblemonkey View Post
...it's all here, everything I would need for drinking,

everything except the going and the getting.

sober
whaz up, DM? did i misinterpret your post?
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
  #129  
Old Jan 16, 2012, 05:05 PM
Anonymous32912
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram View Post
whaz up, DM? did i misinterpret your post?

probably madisgram...my mind was a bit mixed up yesterday so wasn't making much sense no doubt.
I think I meant that all the usual factors for drinking were in place, like hot day, bad mood, little concern for consequences, need for escape....things like that.
except the actual making it happen.....this was not a factor.
so still sober.
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker
  #130  
Old Jan 17, 2012, 02:35 AM
Anonymous32912
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....just keeping it simple today.

sober
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notz
  #131  
Old Jan 17, 2012, 04:27 PM
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mgran mgran is offline
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Proud of myself today. Towards eight o clock I started really wanting a drink, and thinking of going up to the shops to buy a bottle of wine. So, I took myself upstairs and got into my pjs, made myself a big mug of hot chocolate, then settled in front of the telly as comfortably as possible, telling myself I didn't want to move since I was so snug. The shop is now shut, so I can't get a drink anyway, and I realised that all you have to do is resist temptation for a while, then it goes away.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
__________________
Here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, madisgram, notz
  #132  
Old Jan 17, 2012, 06:50 PM
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notz notz is offline
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fingers crossed with you...
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daily check in thread for everyone here

notz
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madisgram, mgran
  #133  
Old Jan 17, 2012, 07:21 PM
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mgran mgran is offline
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Thanks Notz.

Sometimes I read on here about people who've managed to be sober for years, and I get quite panic stricken about it, because I can't imagine years. I've gone months in the past without it, and obviously when I was younger, pregnant, nursing, all those things, I didn't drink at all, never thought about it. It just crept up on me while my husband was ill, and since then it's come and gone in cycles. So I suppose it's been a problem since 2008.
__________________
Here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, madisgram
  #134  
Old Jan 17, 2012, 09:09 PM
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RapidFlyer RapidFlyer is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: N. East PA
Posts: 277
Today, Just for Today, I am sober and abstinent and smoke free. I can handle today.

Today I will not drink, drug, overeat, or smoke. today I have not done any one of those things.

Today I am grateful that I only have to stay sober and abstinent for today. There is no way I could do this forever.

So I am sticking with today.
__________________


In the journey we learn and grow. The destination shows us how very far we have come and how far we have yet to go.
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, madisgram
  #135  
Old Jan 18, 2012, 05:10 AM
Anonymous32912
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another one for my gratitude list...

3: I fall to sleep instead of passing out.

this thread here is like my own little AA meeting..(well not just mine )
thanks for this madisgram.

sober today
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madisgram
  #136  
Old Jan 18, 2012, 04:41 PM
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beauflow beauflow is offline
-------no titles please--
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere where I can grow
Posts: 11,898
These past days have been hard -- last week was hard on thoughts to going back-- BUT I keep TRYING TO remember I WOULD Lose everything if I DID and what would i want to accomplish with going back to that life.. IT Is very hard, but to be strong another day is worth that--

I refere to hard drugs there

In addition- TODAY when I got home from work I WANTED To drink so bad, just get plastered, and I DID NOT-- I stayed up, I WROTE IN my JOURNAL, I went to the store and came home and talked to my boyfriend on a range of things bothering me-- I FEEL so much better...

And to think I wanted to get plastered which would had just made me all over the place and pass out-- what a waste that would had been.... and sadly I can say honestly I KNOW That is true for i have done that--- TRYING BEST My new year to be better... and to stick to my rules on alcohol.
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"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s
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justaSeeker
  #137  
Old Jan 18, 2012, 05:09 PM
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hopefultoday hopefultoday is offline
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Posts: 71
Someone told me today, "You seem healthier." I am, because I am so much happier now. Life is starting to get better. Relationships are healing and things are getting better. One Day At A Time!
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beauflow, justaSeeker
  #138  
Old Jan 18, 2012, 10:44 PM
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RapidFlyer RapidFlyer is offline
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Location: N. East PA
Posts: 277
I went to a meeting tonight and the subject was on dealing with stress without picking up. It was really good. People shared about calling people instead of picking up, focusing on the next right thing, working the steps, taking things one item at a time, and calling their sponsor before they picked up. there were lots of other things mentioned but these were the things that stuck with me.

It was a great meeting and a wonderful source of information and resources. I am glad I am sober today and able to go to a meeting.
__________________


In the journey we learn and grow. The destination shows us how very far we have come and how far we have yet to go.
Thanks for this!
beauflow, justaSeeker, madisgram
  #139  
Old Jan 19, 2012, 08:09 AM
Anonymous32912
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today I got very close to activating my inner drinker.

...discussions took place with madmen and psycho's in my head, and these guys are still dis-appointed in their uniquely twisted uniquely troubled me kinda way...dis-appointed that all the chatter accomplished nothing.

so I guess gratitude 4: able to reflect on this with a sober mind...instead of just being really pissed and believing I had know choice.

day at a time
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Thanks for this!
justaSeeker
  #140  
Old Jan 19, 2012, 10:04 PM
summeryoga summeryoga is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dubblemonkey View Post

so I guess gratitude 4: able to reflect on this with a sober mind...instead of just being really pissed and believing I had know choice.

day at a time
Sober reflection is good, J ... Really good. One breath at a time, my friend. And now go get your Aussie arse into a real AA ...
  #141  
Old Jan 19, 2012, 11:45 PM
Anonymous32912
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Quote:
Originally Posted by summeryoga View Post
Sober reflection is good, J ... Really good. One breath at a time, my friend. And now go get your Aussie arse into a real AA ...
...thats the best approach with me A.
just givin' it to me tough...very cool. I understand the language and I can't ignore it.

sober
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summeryoga
  #142  
Old Jan 20, 2012, 02:57 AM
Anonymous324956
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2 days smoke free
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gma45, madisgram, mugzy
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beauflow, justaSeeker, notz
  #143  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 07:51 AM
Anonymous32912
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there are several things I consider to be important at the moment...

I will begin at the end!

6: hmmmm what was that about?
5: it's great I didn't go ridiculous on the forum
4: with my alcoholic brain.
3: something inside me just said yes
2: to alcohol
1: I had a drink.

now working in reverse...

1: bothering me for days I am sick of this discomfort in my head.
2: if I wait long enough like three days it won't seem so desperate.
3: and this control surely will be available after I imbibe
4: well I am already there and the transformation has taken place
5: can I remember why I did this?
6: feeling bad is not possible now and that was deliberate
Thanks for this!
beauflow, justaSeeker
  #144  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 09:34 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
it was that old monkey on your back, DB. the power of alcohol is very patient. strikes when it pleases. be viligent. i am even after 22 yrs. my disease could rear it's ugly head at any moment. it's what i do when it does that makes the difference in how i react to it.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
Hugs from:
Anonymous32912
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, notz
  #145  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 03:46 PM
Anonymous32912
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram View Post
it was that old monkey on your back, DB. the power of alcohol is very patient. strikes when it pleases. be viligent. i am even after 22 yrs. my disease could rear it's ugly head at any moment. it's what i do when it does that makes the difference in how i react to it.
yes it was that monkey. the only choice I have madisgram is to cage that boy again!
it is unrealistic to be so thirsty!

I will be back.......at least I am optomistic!

and sayin' sorry is downright stupid!
  #146  
Old Jan 23, 2012, 10:25 PM
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Caretaker Leo Caretaker Leo is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: US
Posts: 1,019
Still here and glad I haven't fallen completely apart!

Thanks again to Madisgram for this thread.
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Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up.
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  #147  
Old Jan 24, 2012, 12:42 AM
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roads roads is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
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I'm going to spend the night at AA meetings. It's the best/safest place for me.
Wish me luck please, because I think I may need that too.

My dad died 19 yrs ago last night. He was an alcoholic, didn't tell me till the first time I visited after I'd been in a 6-wk residential rehab I'd checked myself into. Until then the myth was there were no drunks in our family.

My dad died from Alzheimer's. I was his caregiver. Actually those last years were our best adult years together. But anniversaries of late have been very hard. Tonight at work I realized I'd forgotten the date, and the guilt was a physical blow.

I'm not handling it well. I couldn't get hold of anyone, even my sponsor, fast enough & panicked. Holed up at home & now am at a meeting. I'll just keep going, there are mtgs all night somewhere in the area. Or I'll stay at my sponsor's.
Hugs from:
Caretaker Leo, ggtina, madisgram
Thanks for this!
notz
  #148  
Old Jan 24, 2012, 01:03 AM
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gma45 gma45 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: In & out of my mind!
Posts: 4,196
Checking in....I am proud today. I am seeing some progress. I was upset today with my son in law instead of name calling I refrained, I just let him know I thought his actions were rude. I avoided a big argument about how immature I think he is and how he needs to grow up imo.
Hugs from:
madisgram
Thanks for this!
notz
  #149  
Old Jan 25, 2012, 12:43 AM
Anonymous32912
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seeya round Jan...
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  #150  
Old Jan 25, 2012, 07:14 AM
Anonymous32912
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Posts: n/a
not sober
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