Daily addiction check in #1

Wow. Serious cravings today. And nothing I am being offered satisfies it because I'm craving crystal :/ ****

Remove yourself from the situation and have a nice bubble bath or go for a long walk!

Your life is too important to let a drug make your decisions. Think about why you stepped away from it before.

Yeah... If nothing else, I'm going to start by cutting out crystal. That **** is dangerous and aint nobody got time for that.

One vice at a time one day at a time if that's what it takes.

updownaround i like your avatar on PC...its cute....

I am really tired today!

Day 1. I found myself looking for fallen jib on the floor and realized what a weirdo I am. My girlfriend is currently not coming home and not talking to me so I have been really sad and stressed... Used yesterday, but stayed strong today.

Your message was written at 3:43 - 3-4 hours isn't exactly staying strong. You need some help we can't seem to provide here - we've made all kinds of suggestions, appealed to your logic, etc. In the past week you got a guy to smoke who'd never smoked before, your girlfriend isn't dealing with you, & you've apparently lost your new job. Your addiction is telling you everything is OK...It isn't JessLynn. Please look in to rehab or an N.A. meeting. We're here to supplement whatever help you decide to get, but I hope you get it before it's too late.

It was a full day what the ****. 3-4 hours my ***. I'd still be flying high in that case. Get a clue.

I would like to mention that people on here are in all areas of the world, so just because it is a certain time where one of us is, that does not mean it iss the same time for another person.

Looking for crumbs on the floor is not all that weird when it comes to addicts. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard friends say that they have done that. My drug of choice has always been pills. I have a really hard time throwing away any prescription, regardless of what it is used for. I have caught myself digging thru drawers looking for that one bottle that might be there that could possibly be mind altering, even tho I cleaned out the addictive stuff a long time ago.

One day is awesome! I'm sorry your gf is not talking to you... I will say that a lot of the time, when someone decides to try to get clean, the people around them that still use will feel threatened. Us quitting kind of throws it in their faces that their use isn't normal either, and they will do whatever they can to get us to keep using so they don't feel weird. The best bet is to just stop hanging out, stop talking, stop everything that involves people who do still use. Whether they care about us or not, their survival instincts kick in and they will do anything to protect their own behaviors. People, places and things. Any off these that get in the way of us staying clean need to be changed.

Color me confused. Your previous message said you were staying strong and getting a fresh start breaking the grip of meth. I hope that is still the case. It's hard but important work you're doing.

So true. It's been many years, but I have been one of those people who razzed a friend who quit. I did feel like what he was doing made sense and I didn't like that conclusion. I kept thinking I would stop after the summer or when I went through all of my stash or... It was a long time from when I really knew I had to stop until I did. Fortunately, I wasn't doing anything that takes as heavy a toll on mind and body as meth.

I am, I just ****ed up under pressure... I was upset about the situation with my girlfriend, she left for two days without telling me she was going, where or how long let alone why.

That kind of stress makes it hard, but after a while you will find it is actually easier to truly deal with it with a clear head. It sounds like you are still committed to the cause!

Yes, I am. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 hours and I am going to tell him everything... Really scared. Is that going to get me in a world of trouble?

It shouldn't get you in trouble at all. Your pdoc's main job is to help you, they want to see you succeed. They may be a little shocked about the use if they didn't know, but hearing that you want to stop is good.

In fact, your pdoc might be able to offer you some help or resources that will make not using easier. Like if you need detox and such, they will bed able to tell. With you only being a day or two clean right now, telling your pdoc can really help. Even without detox, there are inpatient treatment centers that are for a month and intensive outpatient therapies, that are usually 4 days a week for several weeks. I think the schedule of that may help you. For me, having as routine early in recovery helped tremendously.

No. Unless you pose a risk to yourself or others, they are required to keep everything confidential. His job is to help you and he needs to know to help the most. Please be open. You won't regret it.

Being honest with your psychiatrist is the best strategy. He can't help you if he doesn't know the whole truth. I know it can be scary, but it really is the way to go. Since you're a poly substance abuser, he may recommend rehab. Don't dismiss it out of hand. Rehab has really helped me.

splitimage

So yeah I'm interested in that word game seems harmless but keeps my brain thinking. Also I know nothing about medication but I feel for your situation. I actually have an intake today so who knows if I'm not going to be getting medication myself.

Yes I think longings are different than urges. Because I'm a social user it's been that way since I was 15 years old. started with the basics and now I'm 40 and sometimes it's like second nature to me. A longing or an urge I think only applies to the situation where it has hindered your way of taking care of yourself financially and physically. I try to keep a balance and if I wanted to stop I can stop it's other things in my life that the drugs feel a certain void for me. On the way to the clinic first time see you later

I'm so relieved that you're going to discuss the problem with your pdoc! I was extremely worried that you might not seek professional help & something horrible would happen. You can beat this with the right help! The step you're taking is very brave. Good luck!

Day 2, I told the pdoc what has been going on, I was shaking like a leaf, looked pretty stupid. Now I am fiending :/ Anyone still smoke weed if you quit the hard drugs?

The only longing I have is to go back to my 20 something self and tell myself stop giving myself alcohol poisoning every single day

I still smoke bud I've never really quit anything the only problem I have is not choosing the right female according to my closest Family member however I have friends at still smoke bud and have stopped the coke the meth the pills. But for me drug consumption becomes more frequent when I'm trying to fill a void but I've been lucky enough to keep a balance