I HATE that name!

I dunno if I'm putting this in the right place.
I had someone who really did some horrible things to me and problem is that they have one of the most popular names in the whole world. Everywhere I go I hear or see that name. I hire a movie and the main actor has that name. it's everywhere. It's so awful. Everytime I see that name I freak or I feel repulsed by it.
What can I do? Reminders are awful.

you're right. reminders really are awful. the worst part is the more you try to avoid them the more they seem to be in your face all the time. you need a plan, a way to distract yourself. my brother had trouble dealing with an issue like that. he wore a rubberband and every time he caught himself dwelling on the issue he'd snap the band and remind himself to turn his attention elsewhere. never tried that personally, but one thing i have tried is humming. yes. humming. theres one thing i have trouble with in the winter and its everywhere i look (won't mention it, don't want to trigger anyone). every time i'm confronted i hum the song 'strong enough' (sheryl crow. love it). i say the lyrics in my head while i hum. no, its not perfect or foolproof and doesn't always work, but i force my focus away. memories are a very powerful thing and for some people, avoiding them is better than facing them. nothing to be ashamed of. we all deal with things our own way. feel better.

The only thing I've ever found useful for getting over a name problem is to befriend someone with the same name. Eventually, with enough good experiences with that person, they become the main person you associate with that name, rather than the person you dislike. I realise it's not the most practical plan in the world, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

I go through the same thing. Too many guys with the same name abused me, so I steer clear of anyone with that name, and unfortunately automatically decide all men with that name are bad. The name for me is very common, too.

I think it's really natural to hate, or get upset at, things that remind you of bad experiences or people who really hurt you. I, personally, get sad hearing the name of my beloved dog (who passed away a little over a year ago) or seeing dogs of the same breed. It's like a reminder that she's gone.

Is it possible for you to notice and focus on the physical differences of the person with the name on the screen? Maybe you could try to tune out the person's name and think of them only by their character's name (if their real name is the problem), or create a new name for the character if that's the issue.

I hope you find something in the responses you got that you can apply to your situation to help you deal with things.

Hey I think that that idea about getting another friend with the same name could work. That is not such a bad idea. At first I think I would feel yuck about it but might get used to the name if someone nice had it. I'm imagining putting an add in the paper...'Friend needed for anxiety recovery, must have the name????'
That would be funny.
Thanks for all your tips everyone. Hearing that name brings back horrible feelings and memories. Makes me shiver just thinking about it.

Hi estee,

Yes, I have that problem too. Funny thing; my daughters long term boyfriend has the name I hate, so I hear it all the time. I'm used to it more now, but I can't call him by his name - I can't physically speak the work, so I change one letter and call him something similar.

It works for me, and he is a kind person who understands my oddness.

For me, nothing would make the hated name OK, and I've lived a long life; it's a bit late now.

I don't deny the damage, but I no longer dwell on it.

Good thoughts, M

If someone else came into my life with the same name I'm afraid that I would hate them immediately. That would not be fun.

Yes, I hate THAT name too. I hate several names actually. Fear is a terrible thing so I try to be angry about. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I had a teacher with the same name as my abuser, i would call him by his last name, but other students didn't and it bugged be and i liked the teacher.