Stop Tinking

Can anyone give me some hints on how to stop thinking? My mind races all day long and never stops. 99% of the time my thoughts lead to depressing subjects that I have no control over and then I spiral out of control. I am doing what I can for my problems, therapy and medicine, but would love some kind of trick to stop myself from thinking. I try talking to myself but that doesnt work, I try talking to my Dog and all I get is a wet face from lickings. What am I to do?

Mike

Does listening to music help? Sometimes I use a Walkman to distract myself.

I wish. I have ADD\ADHD so it is very hard for me to stay focused, and to sit and listen to music would be a form of torture to me. I do have an MP3 player I use when I work out. I am just not in the mood to go to the gym. I would love to be able to sit in a dark room and get lost in the music, or in a movie. That seems real fun, but something I cant do. I can sit through a movie, but get distracted multiple times and end up having to pause it. My doc put me on Ativan and it helps a lot, but I hear it can be addictive so I am leary.

Sounds a bit like I am when I'm trying to work - I keep jumping up and doing other things. It's hard to sit and concentrate.

I use the Walkman as a distraction, just clip it to my belt when I'm doing other things. I can't really sit still and listen to music either, but any sound is sometimes better than listening to my own thoughts.

Hope you find something that works for you.

I appreciate that. I am going to give that a shot as I am cleaning! Thank you very much!!!!!

Mike

Hi there,
I use to live close to where you are in PA, but that is not the reason of my reply, it sounds to me you may be bipolar, but there are other things possible, this was just the first thing that came to mind, before my diagnosis, I went through something that sounds just like what you have mentioned here.
Have you ever been given any diagnosis? Do you use amphtemines? Have you possibly been mis-diagnosed with ADD? Bipolar and ADD over the years have been misdiagnosed by some pdocs because certain behavioural patterns are similar, but if you are bipolar and given Ritalin, Cylert, or any stimulants due to the fact a pdoc diagnosed as ADD and not the proper DX, this can wreak havoc, just exacberating the racing thoughts.
You may want to take this up with your pdoc, or seek a new one and have an evaluation, there can be a possiblity that there will be a need to change meds. I found when put on mood stabilizers and additional meds, the too much thinking or racing thoughts subsided, and it also allowed me to sleep, otherwise I would go through each day on only 2 hours sleep per day, in time a person will "burn out" and that is a horrible experience. This is just a few of my personal thoughts on your post, the best thing is to consult with a pdoc.
I'm not saying the above is the only thing(s) that are possible but may be something to investigate.
I do know when I lived near your section in PA, I did work on a volunteer basis at one of the schools there in Chester County and there had been a lot of children misdiagnosed as having ADD/ADHD, put on Ritalin and they only became more hyper, and were NOT ADD/ADHD, that is why it is important to seek out a pdoc, even ask your primary care physician for a referral if you are able to. You do not have to live like this, there is help

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

I got tested for ADD 3 years ago and the psychologist said I had it. After that I never went back to see him. 4 months ago I started dating a girl and I knew that I had to face my mental problems or end up in another dead end relationship (this one is one the rocks only making matters worse). I went and saw a therapist for @ a month and didnt like her, stopped going for a while and started again about 6 weeks ago and I really like her. The center has therapists and psychiatrists on site which is good. I initially saw the psychiatrist and he put me on Straterra. Didnt do anything except erase my sex drive. Went to concerta and that made me more anxious. After a few sessions with the therapist she did not think it was ADD at all, or if so very minor. She said that it sounded like Schizoid personality disorder, depression, OCD and a little ADD. When she told me what Schizoid was it really opened my eyes...

1 neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
2 almost always chooses solitary activities
3 has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
4 takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
5 lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
6 appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
7 shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

This describes me to a "T". No wonder I never have any long term relationships. So I think the strategy is to attack the depression with Welbutrin, the anxiety with Ativan and the Schizoid with therapy. Its been a week, so far so good. I just think it might be too little to late for the relationship. I really dont want to lose her. The depression is real bad right now. My Schizoid tendencies are pushing me away from my girl, and then she withdrawls from me and then I get depressed even more and turn to her and she withdrawls. I know she really loves me, but I dont know if she can deal with my problems. Its really sad because I love her deeply and want it to work. Time will tell!! Thanks for listening. By the way what is a pdoc? psychiatrist?

Mike

Listening to music while doing busy work worked pretty well. Thanks for the advice.

Mike

I know there are specific techniques you can use to deal with racing thoughts, but I've never learned them...maybe your therapist can help with that. There are a couple of things I do, though.

I often have trouble falling asleep because my mind won't slow down. I found that if I put a movie on, one that I've seen before so I don't stay up to see what happens, the voices in the movie help quiet the thoughts in my head.

You mentioned that your thoughts are often depressing. When that happens to me, I try to find something that is a "replacement" subject to think about. I usually think of something pretty benign, what I'm going to make for dinner, what plants I'm going to put in this spring, anything that's not real emotional. So any time I find myself thinking something really bad, I will try to think of the other thing. It's not so much of a focusing on something thing as just putting that new thought in you head alongside the other stuff, and doing it over and over again until the other thoughts quiet down a bit.

The last thing I do is deep breathing. I have a lot of trouble focusing, too, but I once read something about meditation that really helped me. That it was more a matter of letting everything go out of focus rather than focusing on one thing. So, I will close my eyes, and breath in and out very slowly, and let the thoughts come in, but I don't focus on them, don't think "oh no, I can't quiet my mind"...instead, I just keep breathing, and the thoughts stop bothering me, because they don't stick around enough to get a foothold. I'm not sure if any of that made sense...but just taking some deep breaths helps me.

Good luck.
mj

I'm glad the music helped some, Mike.

I fit the schizoid personality type too, and I also have OCD, so I know what you are going through.

I never told my husband about all these things, so he doesn't really know what he's dealing with, but we do manage to do ok together. It would have been more fair to him if he had known all this before we got married, but I didn't really know myself back then to explain it to him.

Your girlfriend may surprise you, and you may surprise yourself. Try to keep things out in the open, I think that works the best in the long run, and she'll be more able to understand why you do the things you do.

Even us schizoids can be in good relationships.

I am going to use your music therapy as often as I can. I really hope that things work out for us. I really appreciate your replies as well as all the others. It really helps me, especially since I just started on this therapeutic road, and I am so confused. I hope that you and your husband continue to do well, and even grow into the perfect marriage. Thank you so much.

There is another possibility (just popping out of my head) a person can be Bipolar (different variants) and ADD, my former therapist and pdoc wher Iuse to live said in cases like this they always treat the Bipolar first and then see how it all goes, then will in addition treat the ADD.
Also many decades ago, American pdocs misdiagnosed Bipolar (then called Manic Depression) as Schizophrenia, another setback for the thousands who were not Schizophreic at all, wrong meds also were prescribed, it wasn't till many meetings (conferences) between the US pdocs and European pdocs concluded that Schizophrenia was a "catch all" for disorders that the US didn't quite have the same knowledge that was had in Europe. There are still some "backwards" pdocs that cling to the Schizophrenia DX, and they are wrong in so many cases, this can be due to some of the behaviours both illness share, and the same with ADD. Bipolar disorder is more common than Schizophrenia and easier in the long run to treat, I would get another opinion and also mention the other possiblities. I have a nephew that for years his pdocs insist he is Schizophrenic, and have screwed him up worse with the misdiagnosis, finally a new pdoc hit it on the head, the boy is NOT Schizophrenia, but actually Bipolar with Schizo affective disorder or another variant of Bipolar, geesh, there are so many variations and levels of severity with Bipolar disorder, for example, there is Bipolar-I (which tend to have more manic episodes, some violent) and then there is Bipolar-II, which tends to have more depressive episodes and a few hypomanic tendencies. This one can be rough too, cause the depressive state can be near fatal, many committing Suicide or attempting to as opposed to Bipolar-I
Then there forms of Rapid Cycling, "up and down" with hardly any intervals of no episodes. God, I can talk your ear off, but if you haven't read books yet on this I'd strongly suggest you jump over to the Bipolar forum and see the suggested reading I have at the top line, they are extrememly helpful, and pdoc approved. Other sources of info can be found on the internet, and also at this website, just click on "disorders" up on the top area of the screen. I wish you lots of luck with this, I know how overwhelming this all can be, I was DXed 4 yrs ago as Bipolar-II (mild), ADD (mild) and possible BPD (borderline personality disorder) but the pdoc thinks that could of been from my Bipolar disorder and the way I was not coping with some marital issues, everyone has their own unique stories, the most important thing I tell everyone is to see a pdoc, when things are afffecting your life, and functionabilty.
Feel free to drop by and let us know how things go.

Please take care now

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Good Morning,

I initially started see the therapist for the ADD, but now I am working more towards depression, anxiety and Schizoid. I want to be social, but being Schizoid makes it very hard, then I get depressed and anxious when I cant have that. It really is a bad cycle. Its wreaking havoc on a relationship now, and has in the past on numerous occasions. If I break up with her, I would be depressed for a few days and then content. I would go back to my mostly solitary life and satisfy the Schizoid in me. But I want that gone, I want a wife, kids, I want to go play poker on Thursdays with the guys, go on Vacations with other couples. I just hope that I dont lose another great girl along the way. I am on Wellbutrin and Ativan so far and it seems to be working. I have actually been able to cry a bit the past few days, havent done that in @ 20 years, or more (I am 35). Didnt even cry when my Dad died in '97 so I could say this is progress? I was wondering how easy it is to deal with your problems as you move on over the years. I am going to post this discussion elsewhere. Thanks for your input, its greatly appreciated.

Mike

I think the final ability to cry, may beneficial, wow, you bottled that up for a long time, just want you to know I do not see anything wrong, and the others too, do not frown on men crying, we all need to do that sometimes, it gives us a release.
I am sincerely wishing you luck with all of this, I am sure with being commited to staying with treatment you'll do fine, and with that in time (there is no "set time", everyone is individual ) you'll develop a way to deal with this, keep in toouch with a therapist for talk, and keep with a pdoc for med monitoring, so if changes in meds need be you'll have the right doc for this, GP's try to treat mental disorders, but really aren't qualified, they are not psychiatrists.
Again, I wish you all the luck with this

Sincerely,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Thank you so much for your support. I am not embarassed to cry, I am just not really able to. I am so glad that I am seeking help. My family alone has seen a dramatic increase in my "openess". I really am starting to get in touch with my feelings, and with hope determination, and hard work will be able to fall in love, get married and have that familiy I am dying to have. Thanks again.

Mike

I'll be silently, emotional "cheering" you on
Lots of luck and love to you and the path you have chose to take

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Thank you very much. I need all the help I can get. Luckily I can post often due to my job, and empty my head of these crazy thoughts.

Mike

Good, and feel free to continue to do so, if you find it is helping

PS have many days I miss living in PA, Chester County very close to where you do I know that had nothing to do with your post but just had to share that with someone from my old "neighborhood", hey, but rural NJ bordering PA is really beautiful too, I love it, never would think you were in NJ, ha!ha!

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON